Thursday, March 27, 2008
Funny Games
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
Alien sees no point in remaking this 1997 Austrian film by the same title and director, Michael Haneke. Sitting through this movie is sheer torture, for the film’s hostages as well as the audience. It is senseless and demented. The two young sociopaths are dull and disturbed. Lacking any musical score gives the film an empty uneasiness. This bad film gets even worse when one bad boy starts talking to the audience and it becomes unbelievable when an unorthodox remote control gimmick is employed. The audience will be as desperate as the victimized family to escape from these sadistic youths. Naomi Watts, what were you thinking when you decided to produce and star in this turkey. You must be hoping for a Razzie Award. So beware, if two overly polite boys wearing white cotton gloves come knocking at your door to borrow some eggs.
Alien gives is zero “broken eggs” stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
Alien sees no point in remaking this 1997 Austrian film by the same title and director, Michael Haneke. Sitting through this movie is sheer torture, for the film’s hostages as well as the audience. It is senseless and demented. The two young sociopaths are dull and disturbed. Lacking any musical score gives the film an empty uneasiness. This bad film gets even worse when one bad boy starts talking to the audience and it becomes unbelievable when an unorthodox remote control gimmick is employed. The audience will be as desperate as the victimized family to escape from these sadistic youths. Naomi Watts, what were you thinking when you decided to produce and star in this turkey. You must be hoping for a Razzie Award. So beware, if two overly polite boys wearing white cotton gloves come knocking at your door to borrow some eggs.
Alien gives is zero “broken eggs” stars out of 4.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Stop-Loss
It’s “The Kingdom” meets “Blackhawk Down” meets “Coming Home” in this powerful and tragic story about a little known army contract clause referred to as stop-loss, a back door draft. U.S. soldiers return home to “small town”, Texas, on leave from the Iraqi War carrying the physical and mental scars of their battles. The horrors of modern urban combat in an unfriendly land are realistically depicted. The devastating effects of post traumatic stress weigh heavily on these soldiers as they are forced to make difficult life altering choices. See how this conflict affects the loyalty of friendships, family relationships, one’s value of honor, and people’s love. The acting is terrific and will make you feel the pain and sadness of our soldiers’ struggles. War is ugly and no one wants to look at it, but this film makes you stop and think about our soldiers dutifully serving our country.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “death before dishonor” stars out of 4.
It’s “The Kingdom” meets “Blackhawk Down” meets “Coming Home” in this powerful and tragic story about a little known army contract clause referred to as stop-loss, a back door draft. U.S. soldiers return home to “small town”, Texas, on leave from the Iraqi War carrying the physical and mental scars of their battles. The horrors of modern urban combat in an unfriendly land are realistically depicted. The devastating effects of post traumatic stress weigh heavily on these soldiers as they are forced to make difficult life altering choices. See how this conflict affects the loyalty of friendships, family relationships, one’s value of honor, and people’s love. The acting is terrific and will make you feel the pain and sadness of our soldiers’ struggles. War is ugly and no one wants to look at it, but this film makes you stop and think about our soldiers dutifully serving our country.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “death before dishonor” stars out of 4.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
The Judd Apatow production machine has cranked out another sex comedy, but it is no “Superbad” or “Knocked Up”. It is full of familiar TV faces (i.e. Veronica Mars, Marshall Eriksen, and Jackie Burkhart). It even spoofs some TV dramas. However, being in a popular sit-com TV show doesn’t qualify Jason Segel as being able to write good comedy. This second banana can’t carry the lead. The movie plays like a run-of-the-mill TV sit-com only spiced up with cheap crude sex jokes. This was an obvious cover up for the lack of any clever writing. If the full frontal male nudity bit at the beginning makes you uncomfortable, brace yourself for an encore. However, if you are still interested in this endeavor, you may be pleased to know that this particular audience seemed to be having a hilariously good time. They must be fans of low brow, tasteless humor. The faux TV ad spots and the musical Dracula puppet show were the only highlights for me. Alien can only hope to forget Sarah Marshall.
Alien gives it 1 ½ “taste of love” stars out of 4.
The Judd Apatow production machine has cranked out another sex comedy, but it is no “Superbad” or “Knocked Up”. It is full of familiar TV faces (i.e. Veronica Mars, Marshall Eriksen, and Jackie Burkhart). It even spoofs some TV dramas. However, being in a popular sit-com TV show doesn’t qualify Jason Segel as being able to write good comedy. This second banana can’t carry the lead. The movie plays like a run-of-the-mill TV sit-com only spiced up with cheap crude sex jokes. This was an obvious cover up for the lack of any clever writing. If the full frontal male nudity bit at the beginning makes you uncomfortable, brace yourself for an encore. However, if you are still interested in this endeavor, you may be pleased to know that this particular audience seemed to be having a hilariously good time. They must be fans of low brow, tasteless humor. The faux TV ad spots and the musical Dracula puppet show were the only highlights for me. Alien can only hope to forget Sarah Marshall.
Alien gives it 1 ½ “taste of love” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
21
A smart MIT student Ben Campbell (Jim Sturgess) needs financial aid to attend Harvard med school. His professor (Kevin Spacey) dangles a pretty girl (Kate Bosworth) to get Ben to join a team of slick card counters in this gambling/greed themed thriller based on a true story. It is a high stakes game that takes you from a Boston Asian gambling den to the big time casinos in Las Vegas. It has a colorful cast of supporting characters and a menacing casino security enforcer (Laurence Fishburne). Alien liked the story a lot. You will feel the adrenalin rush when they win big and when their house of cards starts to fall down and crumble. The movie has a great ending, which Alien can’t reveal because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Take a gamble, go see “21”. It is a winner.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “winner, winner, chicken dinner” stars out of 4.
A smart MIT student Ben Campbell (Jim Sturgess) needs financial aid to attend Harvard med school. His professor (Kevin Spacey) dangles a pretty girl (Kate Bosworth) to get Ben to join a team of slick card counters in this gambling/greed themed thriller based on a true story. It is a high stakes game that takes you from a Boston Asian gambling den to the big time casinos in Las Vegas. It has a colorful cast of supporting characters and a menacing casino security enforcer (Laurence Fishburne). Alien liked the story a lot. You will feel the adrenalin rush when they win big and when their house of cards starts to fall down and crumble. The movie has a great ending, which Alien can’t reveal because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Take a gamble, go see “21”. It is a winner.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “winner, winner, chicken dinner” stars out of 4.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Drillbit Taylor
It’s “My Bodyguard” meets “Superbad” meets “Never Back Down” as 3 high school freshman nerds get mercilessly harassed by the school bullies. Their solution is to hire a “soldier of fortune” (Owen Wilson) for protection; however he turns out to be more of a homeless, con man than a government trained fighter. Alien enjoyed this film more than he would have figured. It is predictable, but still had the audience laughing throughout the movie. It is full of dopey fun. This one is for all those picked on in high school. Booyah!
Alien gives it 3 “Two-For-One Sale at Hot Topic” stars out of 4.
It’s “My Bodyguard” meets “Superbad” meets “Never Back Down” as 3 high school freshman nerds get mercilessly harassed by the school bullies. Their solution is to hire a “soldier of fortune” (Owen Wilson) for protection; however he turns out to be more of a homeless, con man than a government trained fighter. Alien enjoyed this film more than he would have figured. It is predictable, but still had the audience laughing throughout the movie. It is full of dopey fun. This one is for all those picked on in high school. Booyah!
Alien gives it 3 “Two-For-One Sale at Hot Topic” stars out of 4.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Doomsday
It’s “Mad Max” meets “Escape From New York” meets “I Am Legend” in a bizarre, apocalyptic world where Scotland has been walled off to prevent the spread of a deadly virus. An elite team is sent in to retrieve a possible cure. The movie is an homage to the “Road Warrior” and Snake Plissken. Director/writer Neil Marshall has recreated his favorite iconic images from these characters’ movies. If you don’t mind the blood and gore, you enjoy this action packed thrill ride into the future. There is a potential sequel written all over the ending. It is another one of Alien’s guilty pleasures.
Alien gives it 3 “another world” stars out of 4.
It’s “Mad Max” meets “Escape From New York” meets “I Am Legend” in a bizarre, apocalyptic world where Scotland has been walled off to prevent the spread of a deadly virus. An elite team is sent in to retrieve a possible cure. The movie is an homage to the “Road Warrior” and Snake Plissken. Director/writer Neil Marshall has recreated his favorite iconic images from these characters’ movies. If you don’t mind the blood and gore, you enjoy this action packed thrill ride into the future. There is a potential sequel written all over the ending. It is another one of Alien’s guilty pleasures.
Alien gives it 3 “another world” stars out of 4.
Never Back Down
It’s “Karate Kid” meets “Fight Club” meets “Rocky” meets “Anger Management” in this formulated sports story about the troubled new kid in town who takes a mentor to teach him how to defeat his nemesis. The only thing that changes is the sport (i.e. Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift and Stick It). High school never looked so good, with only hot babes and manly studs driving fancy wheels and living in big mansions. This movie is eye candy for the young movie goers. However, this mixed martial arts film is not as bad as it may seem if you can get pass the brutal, senseless violence. It is predictable from the start because we can all recognize the formula, but it’s the story we want to see. So principals, be wary of outbursts of more frequent fights on campus in the near future.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “fight night beat down” stars out of 4.
It’s “Karate Kid” meets “Fight Club” meets “Rocky” meets “Anger Management” in this formulated sports story about the troubled new kid in town who takes a mentor to teach him how to defeat his nemesis. The only thing that changes is the sport (i.e. Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift and Stick It). High school never looked so good, with only hot babes and manly studs driving fancy wheels and living in big mansions. This movie is eye candy for the young movie goers. However, this mixed martial arts film is not as bad as it may seem if you can get pass the brutal, senseless violence. It is predictable from the start because we can all recognize the formula, but it’s the story we want to see. So principals, be wary of outbursts of more frequent fights on campus in the near future.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “fight night beat down” stars out of 4.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Under the Same Moon (La Misma Luna)
A mother and child share thoughts of each other under the same moon while separated by the U.S./Mexico border in a touching story about illegal aliens as seen through their eyes. This is a wonderful movie about a family trying to reunite after years of separation. Carlitos is adorable and he will break your heart. The English subtitles aren’t a problem because it is an easy read and the plot is very emotions driven. Even the music was carefully selected to reflect the plight of these people searching for opportunities in America. This little movie is a great tear jerker.
Alien gives it 3 “run for the border” stars out of 4.
A mother and child share thoughts of each other under the same moon while separated by the U.S./Mexico border in a touching story about illegal aliens as seen through their eyes. This is a wonderful movie about a family trying to reunite after years of separation. Carlitos is adorable and he will break your heart. The English subtitles aren’t a problem because it is an easy read and the plot is very emotions driven. Even the music was carefully selected to reflect the plight of these people searching for opportunities in America. This little movie is a great tear jerker.
Alien gives it 3 “run for the border” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
College Road Trip
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
While Alien was watching the hunters vs. the builders, he sent a critic-in-training to the following screening and here is the report that was filed.
"College Road Trip", starring Martin Lawrence and Raven Symone is an entertaining comedy. It is perfect for the family, especially for parents who have children planning to go away for college. James (Martin Lawrence) plays an over protective father, who is having difficulty letting his daughter become and adult and make her own decisions. They set off on a road trip to visit colleges where they encounter a series of obstacles until they arrive to their final destination-George Town University! I enjoyed this movie and rate it four out of five stars.
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
While Alien was watching the hunters vs. the builders, he sent a critic-in-training to the following screening and here is the report that was filed.
"College Road Trip", starring Martin Lawrence and Raven Symone is an entertaining comedy. It is perfect for the family, especially for parents who have children planning to go away for college. James (Martin Lawrence) plays an over protective father, who is having difficulty letting his daughter become and adult and make her own decisions. They set off on a road trip to visit colleges where they encounter a series of obstacles until they arrive to their final destination-George Town University! I enjoyed this movie and rate it four out of five stars.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Chaos Theory
Ryan Reynolds plays the author of “The Five Minute Efficiency Trainer” whose life is quite orderly and precise as set by his “to do” lists, timetables, and white index cards. That is, until his wife tries to buy him more time by adjusting the clock and thus throwing his life into utter chaos. The audience seemed to be having a great time, but Alien just could connect with this film. At first, it seemed to be a comedy, but it didn’t appeal to my sense of humor. Then it shifted gears and became a drama about family, friendship, and forgiveness. Some would classify this movie as a chick flick, but I couldn’t sympathize with the characters to care what happens to them. Although Alien got lost in the chaos, maybe this film will appeal to your emotions.
Alien gives it 2 “random choices” stars out of 4.
Ryan Reynolds plays the author of “The Five Minute Efficiency Trainer” whose life is quite orderly and precise as set by his “to do” lists, timetables, and white index cards. That is, until his wife tries to buy him more time by adjusting the clock and thus throwing his life into utter chaos. The audience seemed to be having a great time, but Alien just could connect with this film. At first, it seemed to be a comedy, but it didn’t appeal to my sense of humor. Then it shifted gears and became a drama about family, friendship, and forgiveness. Some would classify this movie as a chick flick, but I couldn’t sympathize with the characters to care what happens to them. Although Alien got lost in the chaos, maybe this film will appeal to your emotions.
Alien gives it 2 “random choices” stars out of 4.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
The Bank Job
Set in 1971 London and based on a true story, a car-sales garage owner (Jason Statham) is in deep trouble with some vicious bill collectors so he can’t refuse a foolproof bank robbery plan to get himself out of debt. For the big heist, he gathers his good buddies and shady acquaintances with the promise of money and jewels, but they get much more than they bargained for. The story starts to get intense and complicated with dirty secrets involving corruption, blackmail, extortion, a madam, a princess, a spy, a black militant, a sleazy club owner, MI5, and government officials. The amateur robbers find themselves in a squeeze play between opposing factions trying to retrieve their stolen goods. Are the clumsy thieves really smart or just lucky? Do they get caught by the cops or by the criminals or do they get away with the loot? You’ll have to go see this nifty caper to discover if crime pays.
Alien gives it 3 “185 Baker Street” stars out of 4.
Set in 1971 London and based on a true story, a car-sales garage owner (Jason Statham) is in deep trouble with some vicious bill collectors so he can’t refuse a foolproof bank robbery plan to get himself out of debt. For the big heist, he gathers his good buddies and shady acquaintances with the promise of money and jewels, but they get much more than they bargained for. The story starts to get intense and complicated with dirty secrets involving corruption, blackmail, extortion, a madam, a princess, a spy, a black militant, a sleazy club owner, MI5, and government officials. The amateur robbers find themselves in a squeeze play between opposing factions trying to retrieve their stolen goods. Are the clumsy thieves really smart or just lucky? Do they get caught by the cops or by the criminals or do they get away with the loot? You’ll have to go see this nifty caper to discover if crime pays.
Alien gives it 3 “185 Baker Street” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
10,000 B.C.
It’s “One Million Years B.C.” meets “Apocalypto” in a classic tale of prophesies revolving around a prehistoric wooly mammoth hunter who must go on a quest to become a warrior, unite many tribes to free the enslaved from the cruel pyramid builders, and rescue his love. If you watched the trailers and expect to see lots of mammoth and saber tooth tiger action, you may be a bit disappointed. There is some good CGI stuff, but probably not enough to quench your inner caveman’s thirst for primitive high adventure. Is the movie predictable? Of course, because all legendary prophesies foretell what is about to come. Nothing can stop destiny. The film may not be quite the prehistoric thrill ride that you expected, but it is entertaining enough. Alien was annoyed by the casting of the Lindsay Lohan look-alike heroine complete with painted eye brows and false eyelashes in cavewoman attire.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “mark of the hunter” stars out of 4.
It’s “One Million Years B.C.” meets “Apocalypto” in a classic tale of prophesies revolving around a prehistoric wooly mammoth hunter who must go on a quest to become a warrior, unite many tribes to free the enslaved from the cruel pyramid builders, and rescue his love. If you watched the trailers and expect to see lots of mammoth and saber tooth tiger action, you may be a bit disappointed. There is some good CGI stuff, but probably not enough to quench your inner caveman’s thirst for primitive high adventure. Is the movie predictable? Of course, because all legendary prophesies foretell what is about to come. Nothing can stop destiny. The film may not be quite the prehistoric thrill ride that you expected, but it is entertaining enough. Alien was annoyed by the casting of the Lindsay Lohan look-alike heroine complete with painted eye brows and false eyelashes in cavewoman attire.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “mark of the hunter” stars out of 4.
