Alien at the Movies

It's "Three Kings" meets "In Search of the Titanic" meets "Run Silent, Run Deep" when an out of work marine salvage submarine captain (Jude Law) puts together a motley crew, half British & half Russian, on a secret mission to find a rumored sunken German U-boat filled with gold bullion. If you ever seen any submarine movie, you know things are going to go terribly wrong in classic underwater fashion. The mood is claustrophobic, slow-paced, and intense as tempers flare, mistrust broods, and greed swells. Will anyone survive or are they all doomed to a watery grave.

Alien gives it 2 ½ "crush depth" stars out of 4.

It's "The Pink Panther" meets "National Treasure" when a scoundrel of an art dealer Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) gets mixed up in a murder mystery/painting heist that has British Secret Service (Ewan McGregor) involved because of possible Nazi ties. Add in Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany, Olivia Mumm, and Jeff Goldblum to the cast of odd characters in this over the top comedy. True to form, Depp again creates another unique performance that you'll either love or hate. Bettany steals his scenes as Mortdecai's man servant/body guard. If you like this brand of silliness, you may enjoy this spoof on the sleuth/caper genre.

Alien gives it 2 ½ "debonair mustachioed rogue" stars out of 4.

It's today's social media infused version of "Mean Girls" if it were a romantic comedy featuring cyber bullying. Mae Whitman stars in the role of the D.U.F.F. (urban slang for designated ugly fat friend) although she is neither ugly nor fat because this movie isn't that cruel. The DUFF is the gateway to her more attractive friends. Bella Thorne plays the mean girl role. High school teenagers are the target audience in this comedy but it is peppered with language that includes terms like man-whore and dick face. This story is about self image, who your real friends are, and owning it by being true to yourself.

Alien gives it 3 "video humiliation" stars out of 4.

It's "Obsessed" meets "Fatal Attraction" when Ryan Guzman steps it up and does another kind of dance with the beautiful & sexy Jennifer Lopez. A high school teacher with marital problems has a regrettable one night stand with the hunky & charming teenager next door who emerges into a creepy psychotic stalker. The movie has the typical drama, suspense, and terrorizing that you'd expect for this genre. Guzman looks a bit too old to play a 19 year old and this teenager seems too knowledgable & skilled for one that young. But in this kind of film, you just go with the flow and don't sweat the small stuff to enjoy the thrills & chills. It's predictable, but who cares, it's got JLo.

Alien gives it 3 "EpiPen" stars out of 4.

This s not a sneak preview. This film has already released.

Two men from two completely different worlds, one rich and one poor, cross paths in their search for Olympic gold fame. Mark (Channing Tatum) and Dave (Mark Ruffalo) Schultz are two gold medal winning wrestling brothers lured to John E. du Pont's (Steve Carell) Foxcatcher training camp. These three actors give outstanding performances. Tatum & Ruffalo have convincingly transformed themselves into these wrestling athletes and project their strong brotherly bond. Carell's calm quiet loner demeanor of the eccentric rich heir to the Du Pont fortune is quite eerie and unsettling. Based of  true story, it is a slow-moving bizarre tale that's depressingly sad and tragic. 

Alien gives it 2 ½ "Golden Eagle of Team Foxcatcher" stars out of 4. 

This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.

It's the "Fugitive" with the man with a certain skill set, Bryan Mills (Liam Neesom) as Dr. Richard Kimball, ex-wife Lenore St. John (Famke Janssen) as Mrs. Kimble, and LAPD Inspector Franck Dotzler (Forrest Whitaker) as Lt. Gerard, but there is no one-arm man. This Luc Besson plot is the third in the series so audiences should pretty well know what they are going to get.  The daughter Kim (Maggie Grace) gets taken in the original and the Bryan & Lenore get taken in the second film. So who is going to get taken now? The characters are so stereotyped casted that you would have sworn they were wearing their black hats and white hats (the good, the bad, and the stupid). Meet Mills' crew and golfing buddies in this murder mystery. No one expects realism here, just guilty pleasure fun.  

Alien gives it 3 "Listen carefully Kim & I'm sorry again Kim" stars out of 4.

Apparently is takes great black hat hacker (Chris Hemsworth) to stop another hacker who threatens worldwide havoc though cyber crime attacks. Of course, you find your savior locked up in prison and you must bargain for his release to insure his assistance. Names like Hemsworth, Michael Mann, and Viola Davis will peak our interest in this premise. However, the film is so contrived and forced that the scenes are either telegraphed or ridiculous. How can the female lead resist bedding & falling in love with the "sexiest man alive". Who would have thought a computer hacker would look like Thor and fight like Jason Bourne. It's basically a detective mystery with a disappointing villain that will take you from Chicago to Los Angeles to Hong Kong to Jakarta. The unsteady cam work was annoying. The film mixes both high and low techniques. The film was disappointing, unrealistic, and anti-climatic.

Alien gives it 2 "I smell a RAT, Remote Access Tool" stars out of 4.