Saturday, February 26, 2005
Duma
This is the classic story of a kid who finds a young wild animal, raises it, and ends up taking it on a hazardous but life-learning journey in search of some goal. The orphaned Duma (Swahili for cheetah) is found and named by Xan, a 10-year old boy growing up on a small farm in South Africa. The journey begins when it becomes time to return Duma to it home in the wild. See and hear the sights and sounds of Africa.
Alien gives it 2 "fastest land animal on earth" stars out of 4.
This is the classic story of a kid who finds a young wild animal, raises it, and ends up taking it on a hazardous but life-learning journey in search of some goal. The orphaned Duma (Swahili for cheetah) is found and named by Xan, a 10-year old boy growing up on a small farm in South Africa. The journey begins when it becomes time to return Duma to it home in the wild. See and hear the sights and sounds of Africa.
Alien gives it 2 "fastest land animal on earth" stars out of 4.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Diary of a Mad Black Woman
It's Bridget Jones meets Big Mama's House meets The Klumps meets Cinderella meets The Practice meets An Officer and a Gentleman. This is Alien's main problem with this movie; it can't make up its mind what it wants to be... a comedy, a drama, or a romance story. It jumps back and forth. This film about love, disappointment, revenge, and redemption does have a positive message. It is predictable, but still enjoyable.
Alien gives it 2 "hallelujah" stars out of 4.
It's Bridget Jones meets Big Mama's House meets The Klumps meets Cinderella meets The Practice meets An Officer and a Gentleman. This is Alien's main problem with this movie; it can't make up its mind what it wants to be... a comedy, a drama, or a romance story. It jumps back and forth. This film about love, disappointment, revenge, and redemption does have a positive message. It is predictable, but still enjoyable.
Alien gives it 2 "hallelujah" stars out of 4.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Ong Bak: Muay Thai Warrior
This is not a sneak preview; this film was already released, originally in 2003.
If you like a good old fashion martial arts film, you may like "Ong Bak". All real stunts, no digitally enhanced action, and the best part is that the instant replays are built in, usually repeating the fantastic feats about three times in succession. Tony Jaa is quick, powerful, and acrobatic. He plays Ting, the country bumpkin/Muay Thai fighter, who heads for the big city to recover the stolen Ong Bak statue head from his village. Along the way, he is chased and gets involved in numerous fights.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "amazing kick boxing moves" stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview; this film was already released, originally in 2003.
If you like a good old fashion martial arts film, you may like "Ong Bak". All real stunts, no digitally enhanced action, and the best part is that the instant replays are built in, usually repeating the fantastic feats about three times in succession. Tony Jaa is quick, powerful, and acrobatic. He plays Ting, the country bumpkin/Muay Thai fighter, who heads for the big city to recover the stolen Ong Bak statue head from his village. Along the way, he is chased and gets involved in numerous fights.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "amazing kick boxing moves" stars out of 4.
Constantine
Keanu Reeves plays John Constantine, a supernatural exorcist, trying to keep the balance between good and evil on earth. Constantine travels to hell and back as he tries to earn a place in heaven by destroying the demons attempting to enter our world. The special effects are terrific, but the movie seems to lack a soul.
Alien gives it 2 "demons vs. angels" stars out of 4.
Keanu Reeves plays John Constantine, a supernatural exorcist, trying to keep the balance between good and evil on earth. Constantine travels to hell and back as he tries to earn a place in heaven by destroying the demons attempting to enter our world. The special effects are terrific, but the movie seems to lack a soul.
Alien gives it 2 "demons vs. angels" stars out of 4.
Monday, February 14, 2005
House of Flying Daggers
This is not a sneak preview; this film was already released, originally in 2003.
Did you love "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and "Hero"? Alien thinks "House of Flying Daggers" is better. It will knock your socks off. It is a feast for the ears and eyes. It is stunning and intense. The fight and chase scenes are fluid and sheer beauty to watch as they are choreographed to exact details. It's "Robin Hood" meets "Romeo & Juliet" where Sherwood Forest becomes a bamboo forest for the star-crossed lovers. It is a story of love, jealousy, deceit, betrayal, revenge, and sacrifice.
Alien gives it 4 "spectacular flying daggers homing in on their targets" stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview; this film was already released, originally in 2003.
Did you love "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and "Hero"? Alien thinks "House of Flying Daggers" is better. It will knock your socks off. It is a feast for the ears and eyes. It is stunning and intense. The fight and chase scenes are fluid and sheer beauty to watch as they are choreographed to exact details. It's "Robin Hood" meets "Romeo & Juliet" where Sherwood Forest becomes a bamboo forest for the star-crossed lovers. It is a story of love, jealousy, deceit, betrayal, revenge, and sacrifice.
Alien gives it 4 "spectacular flying daggers homing in on their targets" stars out of 4.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Pooh's Heffalump Movie
Here is another movie previewed by another critic-in-training.
This latest Winnie the Pooh adventure is cute and fun. Pooh and his friends learn a lesson about friendship, acceptance, and not prejudging others.
My trainee critic gives it 3 "Lumpy the Heffalump" stars out of 4.
Here is another movie previewed by another critic-in-training.
This latest Winnie the Pooh adventure is cute and fun. Pooh and his friends learn a lesson about friendship, acceptance, and not prejudging others.
My trainee critic gives it 3 "Lumpy the Heffalump" stars out of 4.
Hitch
This is a great date movie exploring the awkwardness of dating. Will Smith and Kevin James excel at what they do best, each with their own comedic style. Smith is the "date doctor" advising inept geeks like James how to get a date and win over the girl of their dreams. It is boy meets girl/boy gets girl/boy loses girl/boy gets girl back. Sometimes you just want the movie to end like you hoped. It is hilarious and Alien's guilty pleasure. Guys, take note of the date doctor's advice.
Alien gives it 3 "sure fire dating tips" stars out of 4.
This is a great date movie exploring the awkwardness of dating. Will Smith and Kevin James excel at what they do best, each with their own comedic style. Smith is the "date doctor" advising inept geeks like James how to get a date and win over the girl of their dreams. It is boy meets girl/boy gets girl/boy loses girl/boy gets girl back. Sometimes you just want the movie to end like you hoped. It is hilarious and Alien's guilty pleasure. Guys, take note of the date doctor's advice.
Alien gives it 3 "sure fire dating tips" stars out of 4.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Forces of Nature
National Geographics captures the scenes of immense power and destruction produced by three examples of nature's wrath. Only in an IMAX theater could these sights and sounds be properly documented. At times, the audience will feel the roar vibrate right through themselves (you may want to bring ear plugs). Some scenes appear to be digitally enhanced, but they were still fun to watch. The film could have used more substance and felt a bit short with its run time around 35 minutes long. Alien liked the film but thinks it should have been more.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "volcanoes, earthquakes, tornadoes; oh my" stars out of 4.
National Geographics captures the scenes of immense power and destruction produced by three examples of nature's wrath. Only in an IMAX theater could these sights and sounds be properly documented. At times, the audience will feel the roar vibrate right through themselves (you may want to bring ear plugs). Some scenes appear to be digitally enhanced, but they were still fun to watch. The film could have used more substance and felt a bit short with its run time around 35 minutes long. Alien liked the film but thinks it should have been more.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "volcanoes, earthquakes, tornadoes; oh my" stars out of 4.
Friday, February 04, 2005
Boogeyman
Alien missed this sneak preview, but coaxed this review out of a junior critic-in-training.
"Boogeyman" is a confusing story of a young man who has been haunted by the boogeyman since childhood. Expect missing persons, shifts in time and space, and typical scary moments.
Trainee gives is 1½ to 2 "things hiding under the bed or in the closet" stars out of 4.
Boogeyman Revisited
Alien finally got around to screen this one.
Where do relatively unknown television actors like Barry Watson (Seventh Heaven) and Lucy Lawless (Xena Warrior Princess) end up on the big screen? Alien found them in a nightmare of a movie called "Boogeyman". Watson stars as a young man struggling to overcome his childhood fears of the boogeyman. Does the boogeyman really exist or is he a hallucination? Meanwhile, Watson seems to be teleporting through time and space or is he just having a bad dream? Are his friends and loved ones really disappearing or is he just traumatized because his dad left the family when he was a child? This movie is a confusing nightmare with some cheap scares to keep the audience on edge.
Alien gives it 1 ½ "childhood fears" stars out of 4.
Alien missed this sneak preview, but coaxed this review out of a junior critic-in-training.
"Boogeyman" is a confusing story of a young man who has been haunted by the boogeyman since childhood. Expect missing persons, shifts in time and space, and typical scary moments.
Trainee gives is 1½ to 2 "things hiding under the bed or in the closet" stars out of 4.
Boogeyman Revisited
Alien finally got around to screen this one.
Where do relatively unknown television actors like Barry Watson (Seventh Heaven) and Lucy Lawless (Xena Warrior Princess) end up on the big screen? Alien found them in a nightmare of a movie called "Boogeyman". Watson stars as a young man struggling to overcome his childhood fears of the boogeyman. Does the boogeyman really exist or is he a hallucination? Meanwhile, Watson seems to be teleporting through time and space or is he just having a bad dream? Are his friends and loved ones really disappearing or is he just traumatized because his dad left the family when he was a child? This movie is a confusing nightmare with some cheap scares to keep the audience on edge.
Alien gives it 1 ½ "childhood fears" stars out of 4.
Sideways
This is not a sneak preview; this film was already released.
Two best friends take a road trip (one is a wine connoisseur) for some golf, wine tasting, and fun before the big wedding date. The guys meet up with two ladies and end up off course.
Alien wanted to see what all of the fuss about this film was for himself. The movie could be like fine wine, subtle yet complex. Alien could pretend to be a wine snob and just rave about this movie that he just didn't get. But Alien only found it amusing and entertaining. Maybe it just didn't appeal to Alien's tastes (I never developed a taste for wine either).
Rated "R" for language, nudity, and sexual content.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "spin the bottle" stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview; this film was already released.
Two best friends take a road trip (one is a wine connoisseur) for some golf, wine tasting, and fun before the big wedding date. The guys meet up with two ladies and end up off course.
Alien wanted to see what all of the fuss about this film was for himself. The movie could be like fine wine, subtle yet complex. Alien could pretend to be a wine snob and just rave about this movie that he just didn't get. But Alien only found it amusing and entertaining. Maybe it just didn't appeal to Alien's tastes (I never developed a taste for wine either).
Rated "R" for language, nudity, and sexual content.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "spin the bottle" stars out of 4.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Kinsey
This is not a sneak preview; this film was already released.
This is the story of a boy who loved nature and grew up to study biology and gall wasps, but became famous for his surveys and reports on human sexual behavior.
Alien felt uneasy and a bit embarrassed viewing the sexual content of this film in such a public place.
Alien gives it 2 "much information" stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview; this film was already released.
This is the story of a boy who loved nature and grew up to study biology and gall wasps, but became famous for his surveys and reports on human sexual behavior.
Alien felt uneasy and a bit embarrassed viewing the sexual content of this film in such a public place.
Alien gives it 2 "much information" stars out of 4.
