Friday, July 29, 2005
Happy Endings
Ten different stories, depicting dysfunctional families, relationships, gay men, lesbians, blackmail, sperm donation, abortions, and adoptions, are interwoven into one long, dull mess of a movie. This film thinks it is a comedy, but it isn’t. It’s not funny. The use of text boxes to explain the story line is way overused and just becomes annoying. Alien was not sure what “Happy Endings” was supposed to be, but was just happy when it ended.
Alien gives it 1 “dull” star out of 4.
Ten different stories, depicting dysfunctional families, relationships, gay men, lesbians, blackmail, sperm donation, abortions, and adoptions, are interwoven into one long, dull mess of a movie. This film thinks it is a comedy, but it isn’t. It’s not funny. The use of text boxes to explain the story line is way overused and just becomes annoying. Alien was not sure what “Happy Endings” was supposed to be, but was just happy when it ended.
Alien gives it 1 “dull” star out of 4.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Stealth
It’s “War Games” meets “Top Gun” on steroids with HAL from “2001: Space Odyssey” in the cockpit. The Navy’s top 3 fighter jet pilots get a new wingman, EDI (artificial intelligence controlling the military’s latest secret weapon). Of course, this self-learning machine gets short circuited and then mayhem and mass destruction ensues. The aerial special effects are spectacular, but sound track was cranked up a bit too loud tonight. And why does EDI need to download music from the internet? Who will die and who will survive? Stay until the end of the credits if you want to see how the final scene is played out. Only six of us witnessed it at this screening. It’s a good summertime thrill, but a waste of Jamie Foxx’s talents.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “beware of the Tinman” stars out of 4.
It’s “War Games” meets “Top Gun” on steroids with HAL from “2001: Space Odyssey” in the cockpit. The Navy’s top 3 fighter jet pilots get a new wingman, EDI (artificial intelligence controlling the military’s latest secret weapon). Of course, this self-learning machine gets short circuited and then mayhem and mass destruction ensues. The aerial special effects are spectacular, but sound track was cranked up a bit too loud tonight. And why does EDI need to download music from the internet? Who will die and who will survive? Stay until the end of the credits if you want to see how the final scene is played out. Only six of us witnessed it at this screening. It’s a good summertime thrill, but a waste of Jamie Foxx’s talents.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “beware of the Tinman” stars out of 4.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Must Love Dogs
This romantic comedy features Diane Lane and John Cusack as recently divorced people thrown back into the dating game by their friends and family with hilarious results. Through the modern age of the internet, they are urged to search for their perfect match. This very funny chick flick and great date film has a good supporting cast including some lovable canines. Though fairly predictable, the incurable romantics will still be thoroughly entertained. Alien’s invited guests rated this movie at four stars and five stars.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “doggie treat” stars out of 4.
p.s. Adding to the fun, Alien also scored a canvas “doggie bag”, a movie promo giveaway, on a 3-way ricochet.
This romantic comedy features Diane Lane and John Cusack as recently divorced people thrown back into the dating game by their friends and family with hilarious results. Through the modern age of the internet, they are urged to search for their perfect match. This very funny chick flick and great date film has a good supporting cast including some lovable canines. Though fairly predictable, the incurable romantics will still be thoroughly entertained. Alien’s invited guests rated this movie at four stars and five stars.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “doggie treat” stars out of 4.
p.s. Adding to the fun, Alien also scored a canvas “doggie bag”, a movie promo giveaway, on a 3-way ricochet.
Friday, July 22, 2005
The Island
It’s “Minority Report” meets “Coma” meets “Total Recall” meets “Logan’s Run”. Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson are clones, but they don’t know it. They live in a very controlled and sterile facility with the hopes of winning the lottery and getting to move to the “island”. Their sudden escape leads to some hair-raising chase scenes as they slowly uncover the secrets of the facility and their existence. “The Island” is a great summertime thrill ride.
Alien gives it 3 “insurance policy” stars out of 4.
It’s “Minority Report” meets “Coma” meets “Total Recall” meets “Logan’s Run”. Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson are clones, but they don’t know it. They live in a very controlled and sterile facility with the hopes of winning the lottery and getting to move to the “island”. Their sudden escape leads to some hair-raising chase scenes as they slowly uncover the secrets of the facility and their existence. “The Island” is a great summertime thrill ride.
Alien gives it 3 “insurance policy” stars out of 4.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Devil’s Rejects
Disturbing, sadistic, no redeeming social values… these are Alien’s best descriptions of this horrible attempt at making a movie. It is hard to believe this is a sequel. Stay away from this offensive collage of images and sounds. If this happens to be your cup of tea, you are one sick puppy. Alien rates this one ‘R’ for revulsion, repulsion, and rejection.
Alien gives it NO stars out of 4 because it is one gigantic black hole.
Disturbing, sadistic, no redeeming social values… these are Alien’s best descriptions of this horrible attempt at making a movie. It is hard to believe this is a sequel. Stay away from this offensive collage of images and sounds. If this happens to be your cup of tea, you are one sick puppy. Alien rates this one ‘R’ for revulsion, repulsion, and rejection.
Alien gives it NO stars out of 4 because it is one gigantic black hole.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Bad News Bears
What does “Bad Santa” do after the holidays? Apparently, he (Billy Bob Thornton) coaches little league baseball. This remake of the 1976 classic kids comedy is very funny, but not so innocent. Parents beware of bad behavior and language by both adults and kids in this updated version. Is there anyone out there that doesn’t know this plot of the flawed coach turning around a team of misfits to finally make it to the big game? But do they win or lose?
Alien gives it 3 “base hit” stars out of 4.
What does “Bad Santa” do after the holidays? Apparently, he (Billy Bob Thornton) coaches little league baseball. This remake of the 1976 classic kids comedy is very funny, but not so innocent. Parents beware of bad behavior and language by both adults and kids in this updated version. Is there anyone out there that doesn’t know this plot of the flawed coach turning around a team of misfits to finally make it to the big game? But do they win or lose?
Alien gives it 3 “base hit” stars out of 4.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Hustle and Flow
A pimp in Memphis, Tennessee, grows tired of his life and returns to his dreams of being a rapper. Follow the lives of D Jay and his girls as they struggle to develop their sound, record their rap, and get their song heard on the radio. A great cast of characters make this “making of a rap song” entertaining. This midlife crisis film has a raw and gritty feel to it and is rated ‘R’ for language, nudity, drugs, violence, and sexual content.
Alien gives it 3 “Sundance winner” stars out of 4.
A pimp in Memphis, Tennessee, grows tired of his life and returns to his dreams of being a rapper. Follow the lives of D Jay and his girls as they struggle to develop their sound, record their rap, and get their song heard on the radio. A great cast of characters make this “making of a rap song” entertaining. This midlife crisis film has a raw and gritty feel to it and is rated ‘R’ for language, nudity, drugs, violence, and sexual content.
Alien gives it 3 “Sundance winner” stars out of 4.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Batman Begins (IMAX)
Was this IMAX experience significantly better than the regular theater presentation? Not for Alien on this particular night. Though it was very good, it just wasn’t the heighten experience that Alien anticipated. It seemed more like sitting closer to the screen when actually Alien was in the third row from the back. The quick action in the early fight scene was more dizzying on the big IMAX screen. The film did not appear to be cut down in length from the original theatrical presentation, around 2 hours and 12 minutes.
Alien did invite along two young reviewers (ages 13 and 16). Both enjoyed the movie a lot. One liked the dark elements of the movie and the bat gadgets. One gave it 3 stars and the other rated it 3 ½ stars out of 4.
Was this IMAX experience significantly better than the regular theater presentation? Not for Alien on this particular night. Though it was very good, it just wasn’t the heighten experience that Alien anticipated. It seemed more like sitting closer to the screen when actually Alien was in the third row from the back. The quick action in the early fight scene was more dizzying on the big IMAX screen. The film did not appear to be cut down in length from the original theatrical presentation, around 2 hours and 12 minutes.
Alien did invite along two young reviewers (ages 13 and 16). Both enjoyed the movie a lot. One liked the dark elements of the movie and the bat gadgets. One gave it 3 stars and the other rated it 3 ½ stars out of 4.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Wedding Crashers
Once again, Alien sent his minion of junior critics to preview a preview and here are some of their comments:
Very funny. Haven't laughed that much in a while. "Dumb and Dumber" humor. - 3 stars.
Had some funny moments. Enjoyed it. - 2 stars.
Very funny like "Dumb and Dumber". Really liked Owen Wilson, but Vince Vaugh stole the show. - 3 stars
I really liked the movie. It was really funny. My boyfriend liked it even more. - 3 stars
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Thanks for the preview preview, trainees. Now, here is Alien's take on the movie.
Two slick, fast-talking lawyers (Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn) are also professional wedding crashers who attend these celebrations uninvited; eating, drinking, and partying up with the goal of scoring with the women they meet. All goes well until they “meet the family”, which is a cross between the Kennedys, Mrs. Robinson, and the Addams family. Christopher Walken, Jane Seymour, and Rachel McAdams are standouts in this odd clan. Expect a surprise cameo. It’s hilarious, outrageous, and wacky. You’ll be laughing so hard that you’ll probably miss the next joke. This film contains adult humor rated ‘R’ for nudity, language, and sexual content.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “fun, fun, fun” stars out of 4.
Once again, Alien sent his minion of junior critics to preview a preview and here are some of their comments:
Very funny. Haven't laughed that much in a while. "Dumb and Dumber" humor. - 3 stars.
Had some funny moments. Enjoyed it. - 2 stars.
Very funny like "Dumb and Dumber". Really liked Owen Wilson, but Vince Vaugh stole the show. - 3 stars
I really liked the movie. It was really funny. My boyfriend liked it even more. - 3 stars
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Thanks for the preview preview, trainees. Now, here is Alien's take on the movie.
Two slick, fast-talking lawyers (Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn) are also professional wedding crashers who attend these celebrations uninvited; eating, drinking, and partying up with the goal of scoring with the women they meet. All goes well until they “meet the family”, which is a cross between the Kennedys, Mrs. Robinson, and the Addams family. Christopher Walken, Jane Seymour, and Rachel McAdams are standouts in this odd clan. Expect a surprise cameo. It’s hilarious, outrageous, and wacky. You’ll be laughing so hard that you’ll probably miss the next joke. This film contains adult humor rated ‘R’ for nudity, language, and sexual content.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “fun, fun, fun” stars out of 4.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Herbie Fully Loaded
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
It’s Disney meets “Days of Thunder” in the return of Herbie, the Love Bug. Good old number 53 goes from junkyard to street racing to pink slip challenge to demolition derby to California Speedway racing in this umteenth sequel. Lindsay Lohan must have signed a very long-term Disney contract back in her “Parent Trap” days to make this appearance. But she performs like a real trooper. (Hint: this film just may be the reason for Lindsay’s recent weight and hair color image change) This movie is geared to kids under eight who still believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy… as well as kids-at-heart who are nostalgic for those good old-fashion Disney films. It may be out of date for today’s times, but it is a guilty pleasure for Alien (who learned to drive a stick in white VW bugs and a VW bus).
Alien gives it 2 ½ “vee-dub” stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
It’s Disney meets “Days of Thunder” in the return of Herbie, the Love Bug. Good old number 53 goes from junkyard to street racing to pink slip challenge to demolition derby to California Speedway racing in this umteenth sequel. Lindsay Lohan must have signed a very long-term Disney contract back in her “Parent Trap” days to make this appearance. But she performs like a real trooper. (Hint: this film just may be the reason for Lindsay’s recent weight and hair color image change) This movie is geared to kids under eight who still believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy… as well as kids-at-heart who are nostalgic for those good old-fashion Disney films. It may be out of date for today’s times, but it is a guilty pleasure for Alien (who learned to drive a stick in white VW bugs and a VW bus).
Alien gives it 2 ½ “vee-dub” stars out of 4.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Fantastic Four
A group of scientists on a space mission are accidentally exposed to cosmic rays and develop super powers. For you young’n’s who think this movie rips off the 2004 “Incredibles”, you are wrong. Back in 1961, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby created this very popular comic book team and coined the phrases “flame on” and “it’s clobbering time”. The movie has some great special effects, but the characters are miscasted. It’s a stretch for Mr. Fantastic, too young, too short. Invisible Girl, can’t see it, not a true blonde. Can’t warm up to the Human Torch, too old, too tall. Who can’t play the Thing with a 60 pounds latex body suit on. Doctor Doom, not sinister or diabolical enough, expected a Latverian accent, not American. But Alien still had fun seeing the Four in action on the big screen finally.
Alien gives it 3 “not quite that fantastic” stars out of 4.
A group of scientists on a space mission are accidentally exposed to cosmic rays and develop super powers. For you young’n’s who think this movie rips off the 2004 “Incredibles”, you are wrong. Back in 1961, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby created this very popular comic book team and coined the phrases “flame on” and “it’s clobbering time”. The movie has some great special effects, but the characters are miscasted. It’s a stretch for Mr. Fantastic, too young, too short. Invisible Girl, can’t see it, not a true blonde. Can’t warm up to the Human Torch, too old, too tall. Who can’t play the Thing with a 60 pounds latex body suit on. Doctor Doom, not sinister or diabolical enough, expected a Latverian accent, not American. But Alien still had fun seeing the Four in action on the big screen finally.
Alien gives it 3 “not quite that fantastic” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Dark Water
It’s “Kramer vs. Kramer” meets “The Ring” meets “Hide and Seek” meets “The Grudge”. Jennifer Connelly stars in the ghost story (another remake of another Japanese film) about a mother facing divorce and struggling to raise her young daughter in a rundown apartment building. Director Walter Salles paints an ominous feeling of uneasiness throughout the film with his skillful use of water elements, a suspicious cast of characters, and an old dilapidated building. Alien liked a lot of the unsettling pieces of the movie, but as a whole, the plot made little sense. Alien was left unsatisfied.
Alien gives it 2 “soggy and dripping” stars out of 4.
It’s “Kramer vs. Kramer” meets “The Ring” meets “Hide and Seek” meets “The Grudge”. Jennifer Connelly stars in the ghost story (another remake of another Japanese film) about a mother facing divorce and struggling to raise her young daughter in a rundown apartment building. Director Walter Salles paints an ominous feeling of uneasiness throughout the film with his skillful use of water elements, a suspicious cast of characters, and an old dilapidated building. Alien liked a lot of the unsettling pieces of the movie, but as a whole, the plot made little sense. Alien was left unsatisfied.
Alien gives it 2 “soggy and dripping” stars out of 4.
Friday, July 01, 2005
March of the Penguins
It is life and death on the Antarctic tundra for the emperor penguin. Follow the incredible journey of these birds from the ocean, where they live and feed, to their breeding grounds over 70 miles away. They walk and glide on their bellies across the ice to the spot where they will mate, raise their young, and try to survive the brutal winter. This documentary is filled with fascinating information and visuals of the emperor penguin.
Alien gives it 2 “Chilly Willy” stars out of 4.
Alien’s junior reviewer (age 10) from Seattle really enjoyed the film and gave it 3 ½ stars out of 4.
It is life and death on the Antarctic tundra for the emperor penguin. Follow the incredible journey of these birds from the ocean, where they live and feed, to their breeding grounds over 70 miles away. They walk and glide on their bellies across the ice to the spot where they will mate, raise their young, and try to survive the brutal winter. This documentary is filled with fascinating information and visuals of the emperor penguin.
Alien gives it 2 “Chilly Willy” stars out of 4.
Alien’s junior reviewer (age 10) from Seattle really enjoyed the film and gave it 3 ½ stars out of 4.
