Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Memoirs of a Geisha
In 1929 an impoverished nine-year-old named Chiyo from a fishing village is sold to a geisha house in Kyoto's Gion district and subjected to cruel treatment from the owners and the head geisha Hatsumomo. Her stunning beauty attracts the vindictive jealousy of Hatsumomo, until she is rescued by and taken under the wing of Hatsumomo's bitter rival, Mameha. Under Mameha's mentorship, Chiyo becomes the geisha named Sayuri, trained in all the artistic and social skills a geisha must master in order to survive in her society. As a renowned geisha she enters a society of wealth, privilege, and political intrigue. As World War II looms Japan and the geisha's world are forever changed by the onslaught of history.
Alien pried this review out of one of his trainees. She loved the movie and in particular the performance of the younger Chiyo. It was true to the book. She gives it 3 ½ stars.
In 1929 an impoverished nine-year-old named Chiyo from a fishing village is sold to a geisha house in Kyoto's Gion district and subjected to cruel treatment from the owners and the head geisha Hatsumomo. Her stunning beauty attracts the vindictive jealousy of Hatsumomo, until she is rescued by and taken under the wing of Hatsumomo's bitter rival, Mameha. Under Mameha's mentorship, Chiyo becomes the geisha named Sayuri, trained in all the artistic and social skills a geisha must master in order to survive in her society. As a renowned geisha she enters a society of wealth, privilege, and political intrigue. As World War II looms Japan and the geisha's world are forever changed by the onslaught of history.
Alien pried this review out of one of his trainees. She loved the movie and in particular the performance of the younger Chiyo. It was true to the book. She gives it 3 ½ stars.
Fun With Dick and Jane
A big corporate VP and his wife become unemployed and begin stealing to makes ends meet in this remake of the 1977 George Segal/Jane Fonda film. This movie gets its name from the reading primer, “Fun With Dick and Jane”, and just like the book, this updated version is rather basic, simplistic, and boring. Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni (Dick and Jane) are one-trick ponies. They give the same comedic performances that you have seen them do many times before. Nothing new here. Just the same recycled and predictable humor. However, if you think Carrey’s schtick is brilliant, then you won’t be disappointed. See Jim act silly. See Tea overact. Hear Jim and Tea talk funny. See Jim grimace. Alien retitles this one, “Mildly Amusing Moments with Jim and Tea.
Alien gives it 2 “Elementary, Watson, Elementary” stars out of 4.
A big corporate VP and his wife become unemployed and begin stealing to makes ends meet in this remake of the 1977 George Segal/Jane Fonda film. This movie gets its name from the reading primer, “Fun With Dick and Jane”, and just like the book, this updated version is rather basic, simplistic, and boring. Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni (Dick and Jane) are one-trick ponies. They give the same comedic performances that you have seen them do many times before. Nothing new here. Just the same recycled and predictable humor. However, if you think Carrey’s schtick is brilliant, then you won’t be disappointed. See Jim act silly. See Tea overact. Hear Jim and Tea talk funny. See Jim grimace. Alien retitles this one, “Mildly Amusing Moments with Jim and Tea.
Alien gives it 2 “Elementary, Watson, Elementary” stars out of 4.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
The Producers
Mel Brooks’ 1968 movie comedy about producing a Broadway musical flop was made into a successful Broadway musical and now remade into a movie musical of the play. Brooks’ characters are nutty and played over the top. Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick are perfect in their respective producer roles of Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom. Will Ferrell is hysterical as Franz Liebkind. Uma Thurman adds the va-voom to the loony Ulla. Brooks created all of the music and lyrics in this satirical tribute to chorus line numbers, Ziegfeld Follies productions, and Broadway musicals like Cabaret and Chicago. Brooks’ script is witty, zany, and bawdy. If you like the old fashion musicals and things politically incorrect, you may love this movie or my name isn’t Alien Elizabeth Ink. Be sure to stay put for the encore after the credits finish running.
Alien gives it 3 “Neo Nazi Musical” stars out of 4.
Mel Brooks’ 1968 movie comedy about producing a Broadway musical flop was made into a successful Broadway musical and now remade into a movie musical of the play. Brooks’ characters are nutty and played over the top. Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick are perfect in their respective producer roles of Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom. Will Ferrell is hysterical as Franz Liebkind. Uma Thurman adds the va-voom to the loony Ulla. Brooks created all of the music and lyrics in this satirical tribute to chorus line numbers, Ziegfeld Follies productions, and Broadway musicals like Cabaret and Chicago. Brooks’ script is witty, zany, and bawdy. If you like the old fashion musicals and things politically incorrect, you may love this movie or my name isn’t Alien Elizabeth Ink. Be sure to stay put for the encore after the credits finish running.
Alien gives it 3 “Neo Nazi Musical” stars out of 4.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
The Family Stone
The holiday season is upon us and along comes a comedy reminding us of those awkward situations that can occur at family gatherings. Do you believe in love at first sight and how do you know when you have found the right one? The eldest son of the Stone family brings his love interest home for the holidays with disastrous and hilarious results. The cast is top notch (Diane Keaton, Sarah Jessica Parker, Rachel McAdams, Claire Danes, Luke Wilson, and Craig T. Nelson) and the script is cleverly written. Although it probably won’t become an annual holiday classic, it is worth checking out for a good time.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “loving family” stars out of 4.
The holiday season is upon us and along comes a comedy reminding us of those awkward situations that can occur at family gatherings. Do you believe in love at first sight and how do you know when you have found the right one? The eldest son of the Stone family brings his love interest home for the holidays with disastrous and hilarious results. The cast is top notch (Diane Keaton, Sarah Jessica Parker, Rachel McAdams, Claire Danes, Luke Wilson, and Craig T. Nelson) and the script is cleverly written. Although it probably won’t become an annual holiday classic, it is worth checking out for a good time.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “loving family” stars out of 4.
King Kong
The King is back in Peter Jackson’s faithful-to-the-original 1933 movie, but spiced up with 2005 special effects. Wow! It’s “Beauty and the Beast” meets “Jurassic Park” meets “Them” meets “Tremors” meets “New York, New York” meets “The French Connection” meets “Wings”. It is an homage to the original Kong movie. It has creepy creatures, special effects galore, almost non-stop, heart pounding action, and a strange, tender, bittersweet love story. Naomi Watts, as Ann Darrow, really makes the film work with her special connection to Kong. Jack Black, as Carl Denham, makes a good greedy, but charming, con man/film maker; however, he plays it too over the top. If you liked the original “King Kong”, you’ll love this supercharged version. Alien was amazed by the visual effects; we are talking about “out of the frying fan and into the fire” type of peril. At just over 3 hours, better take a bladder break before the beginning of this blockbuster.
Alien gives it 4 “chills, thrills, spills, and kills” stars out of 4.
The King is back in Peter Jackson’s faithful-to-the-original 1933 movie, but spiced up with 2005 special effects. Wow! It’s “Beauty and the Beast” meets “Jurassic Park” meets “Them” meets “Tremors” meets “New York, New York” meets “The French Connection” meets “Wings”. It is an homage to the original Kong movie. It has creepy creatures, special effects galore, almost non-stop, heart pounding action, and a strange, tender, bittersweet love story. Naomi Watts, as Ann Darrow, really makes the film work with her special connection to Kong. Jack Black, as Carl Denham, makes a good greedy, but charming, con man/film maker; however, he plays it too over the top. If you liked the original “King Kong”, you’ll love this supercharged version. Alien was amazed by the visual effects; we are talking about “out of the frying fan and into the fire” type of peril. At just over 3 hours, better take a bladder break before the beginning of this blockbuster.
Alien gives it 4 “chills, thrills, spills, and kills” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
The Chronicles of Narnia:
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
It’s “Lemony Snickets” meets “Lord of the Rings” meets “Doctor Doolittle” in this classic children’s tale of good vs. evil by C.S. Lewis and brought to the big screen through Disney magic. The four children actors are perfectly casted and are excellent. Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy Pevensie are siblings trying to escape from one war only to find themselves reluctantly in the midst of another war, a clash between a witch and a lion, after being transported through a portal inside a wardrobe to the land of Narnia. The story is about prophecy, betrayal, redemption, sacrifice, resurrection, friendship, family, and love. It is good family entertainment for anyone who is a kid at heart, but it could be too scary for the very young. The special effects are great. It is a thrilling adventure with a good sense of humor looking at a new world through the eyes of children.
Alien gives it 4 “siblings standing side-by-side” stars out of 4.
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
It’s “Lemony Snickets” meets “Lord of the Rings” meets “Doctor Doolittle” in this classic children’s tale of good vs. evil by C.S. Lewis and brought to the big screen through Disney magic. The four children actors are perfectly casted and are excellent. Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy Pevensie are siblings trying to escape from one war only to find themselves reluctantly in the midst of another war, a clash between a witch and a lion, after being transported through a portal inside a wardrobe to the land of Narnia. The story is about prophecy, betrayal, redemption, sacrifice, resurrection, friendship, family, and love. It is good family entertainment for anyone who is a kid at heart, but it could be too scary for the very young. The special effects are great. It is a thrilling adventure with a good sense of humor looking at a new world through the eyes of children.
Alien gives it 4 “siblings standing side-by-side” stars out of 4.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Syriana
Greed for power and wealth drives this political film about the control of Middle East oil fields. Alien can see why critics could rave about this movie. It has a great cast with terrific performances and has very interesting backdrops from around the world. However, it is a thinking man’s movie. You got to pay close attention and remember the different intermingling story lines. Nothing is clearly explained. It is just laid out there for the audience to interpret. It is a giant jigsaw puzzle with many pieces to fit together. It is a quiet film, probably so you can contemplate what is going on as the movie progresses. In the end, Alien felt like he was missing some pieces and couldn’t quite picture the whole puzzle.
Alien gives it 2 “time consuming without closure for the jigsaw puzzle challenged” stars out of 4.
Greed for power and wealth drives this political film about the control of Middle East oil fields. Alien can see why critics could rave about this movie. It has a great cast with terrific performances and has very interesting backdrops from around the world. However, it is a thinking man’s movie. You got to pay close attention and remember the different intermingling story lines. Nothing is clearly explained. It is just laid out there for the audience to interpret. It is a giant jigsaw puzzle with many pieces to fit together. It is a quiet film, probably so you can contemplate what is going on as the movie progresses. In the end, Alien felt like he was missing some pieces and couldn’t quite picture the whole puzzle.
Alien gives it 2 “time consuming without closure for the jigsaw puzzle challenged” stars out of 4.
Friday, December 02, 2005
Aeon Flux
It’s “The Island” meets “Minority Report” meets Lara Croft and James Bond in a Brave New World with Big Brother watching. In our near future, mankind is nearly wiped out by a deadly virus. Now, it is 400 hundred years later and there is only one walled city left. The surviving society appears to be quite beautiful and ideal on the surface, but rebel forces are plotting to overthrow the government, which seems to be hiding a dark secret. Charlize Theron is Aeon Flux, acrobatic assassin extraordinaire from the MTV animated series. It is an intriguing look at the amazing world of the future.
Alien gives it 3 “stylistic thrills and kills” stars out of 4.
It’s “The Island” meets “Minority Report” meets Lara Croft and James Bond in a Brave New World with Big Brother watching. In our near future, mankind is nearly wiped out by a deadly virus. Now, it is 400 hundred years later and there is only one walled city left. The surviving society appears to be quite beautiful and ideal on the surface, but rebel forces are plotting to overthrow the government, which seems to be hiding a dark secret. Charlize Theron is Aeon Flux, acrobatic assassin extraordinaire from the MTV animated series. It is an intriguing look at the amazing world of the future.
Alien gives it 3 “stylistic thrills and kills” stars out of 4.
