Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Fast and Furious
Your favorite street racers are back for more highway hijacking hijinx. A murder puts both tough guy Dom and undercover cop Brian on the trail of the same dangerous drug lord. As advertised, it's a new model with original parts (Paul, Vin, Michelle, and Jordana). Alien always thought VIN Diesel was the perfect stage name for the star in the original film. Get your GPS ready for some crazy LA street racing and load up your Mexican mules for some high speed drug trafficking. If you loved the original, you’ll find this new edition fun and fabulous. It may not be a great movie, but it is great mindless fun. Vinnie will take you on quite a thrill ride so buckle up and hang on tight.
Alien gives it 3 "ride or die" stars out of 4.
Your favorite street racers are back for more highway hijacking hijinx. A murder puts both tough guy Dom and undercover cop Brian on the trail of the same dangerous drug lord. As advertised, it's a new model with original parts (Paul, Vin, Michelle, and Jordana). Alien always thought VIN Diesel was the perfect stage name for the star in the original film. Get your GPS ready for some crazy LA street racing and load up your Mexican mules for some high speed drug trafficking. If you loved the original, you’ll find this new edition fun and fabulous. It may not be a great movie, but it is great mindless fun. Vinnie will take you on quite a thrill ride so buckle up and hang on tight.
Alien gives it 3 "ride or die" stars out of 4.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Hannah Montana: The Movie
When Miley Stewart lets her Hannah Montana persona dominate her life, she is sent back to her Tennessee roots. This film is typical Disney Channel fare with corny and cutesy comedic situations for the kids. The "be in two places at the same time" and the "throw a benefit show to save the town" bits are replayed here. This one is a little bit more country than rock 'n' roll, but HM fans will just love it and probably be singing along. They can expect to see their familiar side characters and a few surprise cameos. Everyone does the Smiley Miley Hip Hop Shuffle during the credits.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "identity crisis" stars out of 4.
When Miley Stewart lets her Hannah Montana persona dominate her life, she is sent back to her Tennessee roots. This film is typical Disney Channel fare with corny and cutesy comedic situations for the kids. The "be in two places at the same time" and the "throw a benefit show to save the town" bits are replayed here. This one is a little bit more country than rock 'n' roll, but HM fans will just love it and probably be singing along. They can expect to see their familiar side characters and a few surprise cameos. Everyone does the Smiley Miley Hip Hop Shuffle during the credits.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "identity crisis" stars out of 4.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The Haunting in Connecticut
It’s "Amityville" meets "The Exorcist" meet "The Grudge" when a cancer boy's family must rent a creepy old house with a history in order to be closer to his hospital treatments. It's classic horror film techniques as visions of shadowy figures appear and disappear, secrets within the house are revealed, and the usual faux frights pop up. This supposedly based on a true story involves a séance, a mortuary, ectoplasm, and missing corpses. If you feel up for a good scare, this film may fill your need to feel a little frightened.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "is the house haunted or possessed" stars out of 4.
It’s "Amityville" meets "The Exorcist" meet "The Grudge" when a cancer boy's family must rent a creepy old house with a history in order to be closer to his hospital treatments. It's classic horror film techniques as visions of shadowy figures appear and disappear, secrets within the house are revealed, and the usual faux frights pop up. This supposedly based on a true story involves a séance, a mortuary, ectoplasm, and missing corpses. If you feel up for a good scare, this film may fill your need to feel a little frightened.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "is the house haunted or possessed" stars out of 4.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Duplicity
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
Julia Roberts and Clive Owen play "spy vs. spy" in the corporate world of espionage. Paranoia and distrust plague this playful couple who have a history which slowly unfolds in flashback form. Can you figure out who is gaming who in this "big bucks for the super secret product" mystery? It's a good pairing in a mediocre plot.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "Project Sampson" stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
Julia Roberts and Clive Owen play "spy vs. spy" in the corporate world of espionage. Paranoia and distrust plague this playful couple who have a history which slowly unfolds in flashback form. Can you figure out who is gaming who in this "big bucks for the super secret product" mystery? It's a good pairing in a mediocre plot.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "Project Sampson" stars out of 4.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
The Last House on the Left
This is not a sneak preview. This movie has already released.
It was a dark and stormy night when two very different families clash and fight for their lives in this remake of Wes Craven's "The Last House on the Left". Murder, rape, brutal violence, and revenge drive this gripping and intense drama about survival. How far will parents have to go to protect their offspring? To quote my friend LWC, this one is "bloody great".
Alien gives it 3 "strangers at the door" stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This movie has already released.
It was a dark and stormy night when two very different families clash and fight for their lives in this remake of Wes Craven's "The Last House on the Left". Murder, rape, brutal violence, and revenge drive this gripping and intense drama about survival. How far will parents have to go to protect their offspring? To quote my friend LWC, this one is "bloody great".
Alien gives it 3 "strangers at the door" stars out of 4.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Knowing
Fifty years ago, a creepy little girl scribbles out a series of numbers which appear to predict tragic events that have yet to occur. Nicholas Cage takes us an intense thrill ride involving some tremendous disaster sequences as the mystery begins to unfold. Alien may have missed too many Sunday school lessons to fully appreciate this doomsday message. This movie about prophecy, chosen ones, smooth shiny black stones, and whispering people was 90% intriguing and 10% unsatisfying.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "time capsule" stars out of 4.
Fifty years ago, a creepy little girl scribbles out a series of numbers which appear to predict tragic events that have yet to occur. Nicholas Cage takes us an intense thrill ride involving some tremendous disaster sequences as the mystery begins to unfold. Alien may have missed too many Sunday school lessons to fully appreciate this doomsday message. This movie about prophecy, chosen ones, smooth shiny black stones, and whispering people was 90% intriguing and 10% unsatisfying.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "time capsule" stars out of 4.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Miss March
Coma boy wakes up to make a road trip to the Playboy Mansion in search for his girlfriend, Miss March. This guy's fantasy world movie is awfully stupid and pretty awful. Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore write, direct, and star in this poor imitation of a Paul Rudd/Jason Segel or Seann William Scott movie. It is juvenile and offensive. A few gross scenes will make you groan. The film's only highlight is a peek inside of the Playboy Mansion, but that probably wasn't the real one anyway. This movie is rated "R" for repulsive. There is a final gag bit during the credits, but you are better off leaving as soon as possible. Miss March misses the mark.
Alien gives it 1 "crass centerfold comedy" star out of 4.
Coma boy wakes up to make a road trip to the Playboy Mansion in search for his girlfriend, Miss March. This guy's fantasy world movie is awfully stupid and pretty awful. Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore write, direct, and star in this poor imitation of a Paul Rudd/Jason Segel or Seann William Scott movie. It is juvenile and offensive. A few gross scenes will make you groan. The film's only highlight is a peek inside of the Playboy Mansion, but that probably wasn't the real one anyway. This movie is rated "R" for repulsive. There is a final gag bit during the credits, but you are better off leaving as soon as possible. Miss March misses the mark.
Alien gives it 1 "crass centerfold comedy" star out of 4.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Race to Witch Mountain
The Disney fun machine cranks out another Witch Mountain episode combining familiar parts from many other sci-fi films. The always charming Dwayne Johnson is an excellent addition to Disney’s magic formula of darling kids and a cute animal on a mission which pits them against the authorities. Action, humor, and special effects keep the audience entertained. It may not be very original, but it's good clean family fun. Witch Mountain fans can look for the kids from the previous movies to play cameos as a waitress and a sheriff.
Alien gives it 3 "Don’t go in the pimped up refrigerator, Jack" stars out of 4.
The Disney fun machine cranks out another Witch Mountain episode combining familiar parts from many other sci-fi films. The always charming Dwayne Johnson is an excellent addition to Disney’s magic formula of darling kids and a cute animal on a mission which pits them against the authorities. Action, humor, and special effects keep the audience entertained. It may not be very original, but it's good clean family fun. Witch Mountain fans can look for the kids from the previous movies to play cameos as a waitress and a sheriff.
Alien gives it 3 "Don’t go in the pimped up refrigerator, Jack" stars out of 4.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Monsters vs. Aliens 3D
DreamWorks is about to launch its latest sci-fi animation project pitting some classic horror monster characters against invaders from space. It’s a kid's version of "The Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" meets "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" meets "The Blob" meets "The Fly" meets "Godzilla" in glorious 3D. This could have been a terrific exploration of sci-fi film spoofing; however, it is more of an Apollo 13 mission that only circles the moon, but avoids any major disaster. It is still great fun film for the kids, but only so-so for the adult chaperones. The writers play it to safe with its mild kiddie humor and don’t take any risks by interweaving jokes for the grownups. Reese Witherspoon gives it her all for girl power. Seth Rogen's comical portrayal of B.O.B. is the funniest part of this film. Look for an extra war room scene in the middle of the credits.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "oooze gonna save us" stars out of 4.
DreamWorks is about to launch its latest sci-fi animation project pitting some classic horror monster characters against invaders from space. It’s a kid's version of "The Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" meets "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" meets "The Blob" meets "The Fly" meets "Godzilla" in glorious 3D. This could have been a terrific exploration of sci-fi film spoofing; however, it is more of an Apollo 13 mission that only circles the moon, but avoids any major disaster. It is still great fun film for the kids, but only so-so for the adult chaperones. The writers play it to safe with its mild kiddie humor and don’t take any risks by interweaving jokes for the grownups. Reese Witherspoon gives it her all for girl power. Seth Rogen's comical portrayal of B.O.B. is the funniest part of this film. Look for an extra war room scene in the middle of the credits.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "oooze gonna save us" stars out of 4.
Monday, March 02, 2009
Watchmen
It’s "The Incredibles" meets "The X-Men" meets "Doctor Strangelove" meets "Heroes" in a parallel universe where President Nixon sends superheroes off to Viet Nam to end the war. On this Earth, these masked men are complexed crime fighters with personal problems. You’ll meet the Nite Owl, Doctor Manhattan, Rorschach, Silk Spectre, Ozymandis, and the Comedian. A mysterious murder, stunning special effects, cool costumes, sexy situations, and ultra-violence punctuate this highly anticipated re-creation of a famous 1986 graphic novel. From the opening scene, this film will grab you by the throat, mesmerize and confuse you as it slow unravels its plot with a political statement during its 2 hours and 40 minutes. If you grew up during the 1950's, you’ll probably get most of the iconic images flashed up on the big screen. Leave the kids at home because this "R" rated film contains nudity and some extreme violence.
Alien gives it 3 ½ "doomsday clock" stars out of 4.
It’s "The Incredibles" meets "The X-Men" meets "Doctor Strangelove" meets "Heroes" in a parallel universe where President Nixon sends superheroes off to Viet Nam to end the war. On this Earth, these masked men are complexed crime fighters with personal problems. You’ll meet the Nite Owl, Doctor Manhattan, Rorschach, Silk Spectre, Ozymandis, and the Comedian. A mysterious murder, stunning special effects, cool costumes, sexy situations, and ultra-violence punctuate this highly anticipated re-creation of a famous 1986 graphic novel. From the opening scene, this film will grab you by the throat, mesmerize and confuse you as it slow unravels its plot with a political statement during its 2 hours and 40 minutes. If you grew up during the 1950's, you’ll probably get most of the iconic images flashed up on the big screen. Leave the kids at home because this "R" rated film contains nudity and some extreme violence.
Alien gives it 3 ½ "doomsday clock" stars out of 4.
