Alien at the Movies

Spell

It’s shades of “Misery” with some black magic when Marquis Woods (Omari Hardwick) wakes up locked in the attic of a crazy old lady, Ms. Eloise (Loretta Devine), after his plane crashes over rural Appalachia Kentucky. He & his family were headed to his father's funeral when a bad storm brought their small plane down. Ms.Eloise is into voodoo magic & wants to keep him there. It’s a contrast of rich, entitled, privileged thinking versus backwoods hillbilly ways. Can Marquis outwit the controlling Ms. Eloise & does he have to fight fire with fire? This horror thriller is fairly predictable but is silly fun to watch the tormented rat run through his maze. It’s not realistic but how many from this genre ever are.

Alien gives it 2½ “Boogity under the Blood Moon” stars out of 4.

Clifford the Big Red Dog

A live action version of the popular children’s book series comes to the big screen. A mysterious magical animal rescuer, Mr. Bridwell (John Cleese), pairs up 12-year-old Emily Elizabeth (Darby Camp) with a cute little red puppy. While her single mom is away on business, her homeless, irresponsible Uncle Casey (Jack Whitehall) comes to look after her. When this cuddly puppy suddenly grows to 10 feet tall over night, the comical giant canine adventures begin. Tony Hale plays the greedy biotech company owner who tries to falsely claim Clifford as his escaped project. This story is about being different and finding your voice & confidence. Rosie Perez, Kenan Thompson, & David Alan Greer are among the supporting cast. This is good family fun targeting the younger crowd & dog lovers.

Alien gives it 3 “uniting the community” stars out of 4.

She Never Died

A mysterious loner saves a woman from a brother/sister team involved with human trafficking & dark web torture & snuff videos. This socially detached recluse has a taste for flesh, has superhuman strength, & regeneration powers but she claims she is not a vampire. She is a homeless person who calls herself Lacey. She befriends an old detective Godfrey with the common goal of finding Terrance, one of the murderous culprits. Suzzie is another rescued victim who now wants to be Lacey’s BFF. This is a well-made, low-budget horror thriller with a dry sense of humor & just the right balance of violence, blood, & gore. Look for a reference to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in the final scene. This one plays like there maybe a sequel with another bulletproof individual. I️ expect this good horror flick will be overlooked & unheard of  by most. It is also the companion piece to 2015’s “He Never Died”.

Alien gives it 3 “oatmeal & tea” stars out of 4.

Wrath of Man

After a cash pickup truck robbery where 2 guards were killed, Fortico Security hires Patrick Hill (Jason Statham) as a new guard. He is a mystery man & seems to be more than he pretends to be. This is a big heist film where a crack team of clever thieves seem to be always one step ahead of everyone. There is likely an inside man but who is it? And who is this Mr Hill? The story is told in 4 parts with flashbacks recapping previous scenes & revealing more information each time. This repetition confused me a bit. With Statham as the lead character, his stereotype kind of tips the hand to where the plot is going. Scott Eastwood & Jeffrey Donovan are among the supporting cast with Josh Hartnett, Post Malone, & Andy Garcia in smaller roles. It’s a fun shoot ‘em up action thriller.

Alien gives it 3 “Dougie” stars out of 4.

The Wolf Hour

It’s 1977 in the Bronx during The Summer of Sam. A reclusive & agoraphobic June (Naomi Watts) riddled with anxiety fears has. been hiding out in clutter of her grandmother’s old apartment for the last 4 years afraid to venture out. Watts is terrific as troubled woman that can’t seem to move forward in her life. Set just in a one room apartment, this film feels like a stage play with only a handful of other characters that show up just one at a time. This is a throughly depressing film as we feel June’s emotional pain gripped by overwhelming panic & the fear of what’s outside of her one room bubble of comfort. It’s hot & humid outside. Then comes the blackout, looting, & fires. This is a well made film but it’s just not entertaining in a good way. Will June finally overcome her fears & continue on a normal life or be forever trapped in her tiny lonely world?

Alien gives it 2 “The Patriarch” stars out of 4.

Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins

This is a reboot of the G.I. Joe franchise that focuses the Snake Eyes (Henry Golding) character. An orphaned boy becomes a loner martial arts street fighter, then fish gutter for a yakuza gang, & then ninja warrior for the Arashikage clan. This is more of a martial arts/swordplay action film then a true G.I. Joe themed film. Only Scarlett from the Joes & the Baroness from COBRA make appearances. It’s a fairly predictable storyline about trust, loyalty, & family as Snake Eyes struggles between honoring his blood brother’s family & getting vengeance for his dad’s murder. To that toss in some giant sacred anacondas & a powerful family jewel into the action. Tune in for the action sequences, not so much for the acting or the script. Be sure to stay seated for a final clip introducing anther COBRA character & possibly a hint to a possible sequel story.

Alien gives it 2½ “look them in the eye” stars out of 4.

Horizon Line

Sara & Jackson are a former couple who awkwardly meet up again for a friend’s island wedding & end up passengers on a small plane. When their pilot suffers a major heart attack mid-flight, this mini-disaster thriller spins laughably out of control. Neither knows much about flying a plane, the GPS breaks, radio communication is spotty, the compass breaks, they head into a threatening storm, & they are running out of fuel. With each new problem, these two manage to come up with a solution, no matter how absurd. Climbing outside of a flying plane to fix a problem seems just so ridiculous. So why do this twice. It seems like the writers were trying to pack in as many aeronautical problems as possible. The only reason to continue watching this film would be to see how much sillier the situation could get. Will this couple be able to land safely or will they have to ditch at sea? 

Alien gives it 1½ “mayday, mayday” stars out of 4.

Freaks

Henry (Emile Hirsch) goes to extreme lengths to hide & protect his 7-year-old daughter Chloe from the outside world. He claims it’s too dangerous to leave the safety of their abandon home hideout. Is Henry delusional or mentally ill? Eventually, childlike innocence & curiosity gets the better of Chloe & she ventures out & meets the ice cream truck man (Bruce Dern). It’s about half way into the movie before we realize it’s “Room” meets “X-Men” meets “Firestarter”. The government, acting in fear of these abnormal freaks, is hunting them down, locking them away, & potentially may be trying to exploit their supernatural powers. The action becomes more & more intense as Chloe’s family becomes dangerously threatened.The messages here are: there is nothing wrong with being different or special & family has got to protect family. 

Alien gives it 3 “Mr. Snowcone” stars out of 4.

Love & Monsters

In an attempt to prevent an “Armageddon” event, a monster apocalypse is created sending people into underground bunker colonies to survive in this sci-fi action comedy. After 7 years separated for his girlfriend Aimee & his parents, Joel (Dylan O’Brien) feels like an outsider, unpaired up like his fellow survivors, & too frozen with fear to venture out as a food forager or colony protector. But a radio call with Aimee stirs up old feelings & Joel decides to make a solo 7-day 85-mile journey to the coast to reunite with his old flame. It’s a hazardous & miraculous trip he makes with the help of a dog, 2 expert survivalists, & a robot named MAV1S. O’Brien plays quite the opposite of his “Maze Runner” portrayal but his monster encounters are shades of “Tremors”, “Mysterious Island”, & “African Queen”. This one is about searching for love & finally realizing who you love.

Alien gives it 3 “Agatha 616” stars out of 4.

Captain Nova

A fighter pilot, Capt. Nova, travels back in time 25 years through a wormhole in order to save Earth from possible environmental disaster. Unfortunately, the process also de-ages her to look like her 12-year-old self & thus has difficulty being taken seriously. She teams up with a boy named Nas to help her reach her goal. Will she finally succeed in her mission? This sci-fi adventure is geared towards a younger crowd as family entertainment.

Alien gives it 2 “ADD, the flying robot” stars out of 4.

The Titan

In 2048, Earth is overpopulated, involved in worldwide conflicts, resources depleted, & over polluted. Scientists are looking at Saturn’s moon, Titan, as solution to repopulating humanity. Fighter pilot Rick Jassen (Sam Worthington) volunteers into an experimental program to adapt humans to the super-cold methane liquids & the ultra-low oxygen atmosphere of Titan. What could go wrong? Tom Wilkinson plays the mad scientist with Frankenstein-ish ambitions. Will Rick evolve to be the first creature to live on Titan or is the program doomed to crash & burn.

Alien gives it 2 “Evolutionary Environmental Experimentation” stars out of 4.

The Batman

Why try to remake the Batman story for the umpteenth time & risk critical comparisons by rabid fans? To make it work successfully, you will have do a different take on this classic comic book hero without stepping too far out of bounds.

It was a dark & stormy Halloween night when Gotham City’s mayor is murdered by a mysterious serial killer/misguided vigilante (Paul Dano) leaving behind his cryptic messages. Enter police lieutenant Jim Gordon (Jeffrey Wright) & another vigilante, Batman (Robert Pattinson) in on to the case. This is a noir detective story where our traumatized reclusive billionaire crime fighter is in his first 2 years of playing Mr. Vengeance & is really trying to figure himself out. These are early days of Selina Kyle/Catwoman (Zoë Kravitz) & Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin (an unrecognizable Colin Farrell). Will the Cat & the Bat join forces & will they be romantically linked? Will the Riddler outwit everyone & always be one step ahead? Can you figure out the rat before the reveal? This is a darker version of the Caped Crusader who can be violently brutal. If you like puzzles, can you solve the riddles before characters onscreen? At nearly 3 hours long, will you enjoy the psychological insights to the key players or will you be bored to death? I was impressed with Pattinson’s performance. I️ enjoyed this different interpretation of the Batman saga & looking forward to see how this storyline develops in the coming sequels.

Alien gives it 3½ “Good Cop/Batshit Cop” stars out of 4.

Better Nate Than Ever

A middle school boy’s dreams of performing on Broadway lures Nate & his BFF to runaway to New York City in order to audition for a part in Broadway’s adaptation of Lilo & Stitch. It’s a comedy of errors as the quirky kid with a vivid imagination sings & dances throughout the show. Lisa Kudrow plays Nate’s struggling actress/role model/aunt. It’s good wholesome family fun especially if you enjoy musical dance numbers. Not giving up on big dreams is easier with the support of family & friends.

Alien gives it 2½ “TikTok sensation” stars out of 4.

Burn Your Maps

After the death of his infant sister, 8-year-old Wes (Jacob Tremblay) tells his grieving parents that he is a Mongolian goat herder born in the wrong place. His obsession takes him & his mom (Vera Farmiga) along with a budding filmmaker Ishmail to Mongolia. There they meet a wandering retired nun & a Puerto Rican guide. It’s a touching & moving heartfelt story about lost souls on journey to find themselves. Tremblay & Farmiga are terrific. The script is contrived but it nicely ties everyone’s story together with a common theme. Life, loss, love, & family.

Alien gives it 3 “goats & eagles” stars out of 4. 

The Night House

After her husband Owen’s suicide, Beth (Rebecca Hall) experiences hearing strange noises & starts seeing things. As she packs up his belongings, she discovers things about him she never knew. This one is set up like a psychological horror story. Is she being haunted by his ghost? Is she hallucinating? Has her grief driven her insane? Will she succumb to some supernatural entity? Are the filmmakers just toying with us as they are just setting up situations to scare us?

Alien gives it 2 “The House That Owen Built” stars out of 4.

All the Old Knives

It’s a spy story meets a love story when Henry (Chris Pine) is sent to interview his former CIA co-worker & ex-lover Celia (Thandiwe Newton) about her recollection as to the details of a hostage/hijacking tragedy 8 years ago. Henry’s boss (Laurence Fishburne) had recently learn of a possible leak on that dark day. Henry decides to also questions Celia’s former boss (Jonathan Pryce). The events of the past are told through flashback recounts, It’s a game of can you uncover the leak before the big reveal. Will feelings about your ex-love cloud your judgement? If you like the challenge of following the clues & solving mysteries, you might enjoy this spy thriller. Or you could check out this one for the naked butts.

Alien gives it 3 “Carmel-by-the-Sea” stars out of 4.

Like Father

Workaholic advertising executive Rachel (Kristen Bell) gets left at the altar on her wedding day & her uninvited estranged father Harry (Kelsey Grammer) suddenly shows up after leaving Rachel & her mom 25 years ago. After a night of heavy drinking together, father & daughter wake up hungover on her honeymoon cruise. The rest is a comedy romp aboard the Royal Caribbean’s Harmony of the Seas enjoying all of its luxury amenities, excursions, and fun & games sailing on a Jamaican route. Director/writer Lauren Miller convinces her husband Seth Rogen into taking a small part (Excuse for a family work vacation on the high seas & Caribbean locale). This is a very predictable but entertaining plot about life, loss, love, family, & forgiveness. Father & daughter will butt heads & gradually bond with that tender ending moment we all expect.

Alien gives it 2½ “karaoke” stars out of 4.

In the Shadow of the Moon

In 1988 Philadelphia, a beat cop anxious to make detective investigates several separate homicide cases involving hemorrhaging dead bodies with neck injections. A blue hooded suspect is killed during an arrest attempt. Nine years later, this same cop has now made detective & it appears that a copycat is at large using the same M.O. This serial killer crime story now shifts gears into a sci-fi time traveling plot. Another 9 years pass by & our former detective is now a P.I. obsessed with solving this case & capturing this elusive time traveler. The first half of the storyline is more interesting & the ending feels unsatisfying.

Alien gives it 2 “bracelet” stars out of 4.

Metal Lords

Two high school misfits & best friends, Kevin & Hunter, decide to form a metal band to compete in their school’s battle of the bands competition. Hunter is really into heavy metal music. Kevin only joined the marching band as a drummer to avoid PE, but he gets into it for his buddy. Their search for a bass player to fill out their band doesn’t go well. Kevin then discovers Emily, another misfit & a cellist with aggression issues when she is off her meds, as a potential band mate. Some romance develops as well as some conflicts arise which threaten their band debut. It’s a charming cast of unknowns with some surprise cameos in this comedy that is driven by a heavy metal beat. This a wonderful coming of age story dealing with high school, bullying, best friends, girlfriends, & obsessions.

Alien gives it 3 “Skullflowers” stars out 4.

The Outfit

It’s 1956 in Chicago, Leonard Burling (Mark Rylance) quietly runs a small tailoring shop with his snowglobe-collecting receptionist Mabel (Zoey Deutch) in the middle of a Irish Mob neighborhood. Mob Boss Roy Boyle, his enforcer Francis, & his second-in-command son Ritchie (Dylan O’Brien) discreetly use the shop as a dirty money drop. One day, a shootout with a rival gang & an incriminating FBI tape jeopardized this operation of Al Capone’s syndicate known as the Outfit. Hang on to your seats & sit tight as you & the characters on screen try to figure out who is the mole that’s trying to rat them out. Tensions will grow with each twist & turn. Rylance is superb as the calm Englishman caught in the middle.

Alien gives it 3½ “I’m not a tailor. I’m a cutter.” stars out of 4.

Windfall

An intruder (Jason Segel) breaks into the vacation home of a billionaire tech CEO (Jesse Plemons) & leisurely searches for money & jewelry to steal. But before the thief can escape, the CEO & his trophy wife (Lily Collins) unexpectedly show up for a spontaneous getaway. This creates an awkward kidnap/hostage situation that seems to drag on & on. This is more of a slow psychological thriller as we get to know the personalities of these 3 main players. As audiences start to wonder where is this all going, the plot tosses in another individual to increase the tension & accelerate the storyline. Will the intruder get the ransom money? Or will the CEO outwit the intruder to save his wife? Who can play this hostage game better & finish unscathed? 

Alien gives it 2 “another Debbie” stars out of 4.

The Bubble

Director/writer Judd Apatow casts his wife Leslie Mann & daughter Iris in his latest screwball comedy about making a cheesy sci-fi monster film during the COVID pandemic. Not only does this over-the-top comedy poke fun of the film industry’s studio executives, directors, script writers, actors, & film crew, but it also shines a humorous light on dealing with the restrictions & precautions in coping with this viral infection. Among the ensemble cast of crazies are Karen Gillan, Pedro Pascal, David Duchovny, Keegan-Michael Key, Fred Armisen, & Kate McKinnon along with some surprise cameos. Apatow takes us behinds the scenes of filmmaking as these celebrity personalities clash. Depending on your sense of humor, it may or may not tickle your funny bone.

Alien gives it 2½  “Cliff Beasts 6” stars out of 4.