Alien at the Movies

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

For you TMNT fans who are just a little bit older now, your heroes in a half-shell are back… just a little bit darker & edgier. Besides being an origin story, it’s also an X-Men mutant vs human type story. See why Leo, Mikey, Donnie, & Raph hid in the sewers for so long & why their father figure, Splinter, taught them martial arts. These teen turtles just wanted to be accepted & not feared by humans. After an accidental run in with April O’Neill & in order to earn respect as heroes, they decide to apprehend a crime syndicate gang led by Superfly & his army of mutants. Fans will get to see Bebop, Rocksteady, & a bunch of other mutants, but no Shredder is featured. The turtles are no longer looking so identical with the exception of mask color, belt initials, & weapons of choice. One appears heavier set, one is shorter, & one wears glasses. There is also a bit of name dropping thru out the film. If you leave the theater too soon, you may miss the evil Cynthia’s mid credit hint of a possible sequel storyline.

Alien gives it 3 “Mutant World Domination” stars out of 4.

Haunted Mansion

Disney has decided to reboot its 2003 “The Haunted Mansion”. A single mom, Gabbie (Rosario Dawson), & her son, Travis, move into an old New Orleans mansion only to discover that it’s haunted. Unable to escape these unseen ghost, she acquires the assistance of an astrophysicist/historic walking tour guide Ben (LaKeith Stanfield), a priest Father Kent (Owen Wilson), a psychic Harriet (Tiffany Haddish), & a historian professor Bruce (Danny DeVito) to rid these troublesome spirits from the premises. This horror comedy is a lot more comedy than horror. Based on the Disney ride, it’s no more frightening than the ride itself & is more fun trying to spot the ride components incorporated into the film. Basically the group must discover the history connected to the mansion & end the mysterious deaths occurring at this location. It’s rather tame Disney family fun. If you liked the park attraction ride, you’ll probably enjoy this film.

Alien gives 2½ “reverse seance”stars out of 4. 

The Baker

The Butcher, the Baker, & the Dry Cleaner, but where is the Candlestick Maker?

When a father comes across some ill gotten gains, he endangers his nonverbal daughter. The daughter & her grandpa the baker (Ron Perlman) go on a road trip looking for the missing dad. With the bad guys & the cops in pursuit, a bloody trail of bodies start to mount up. The plot is fairly transparent once you realize the bonding & the ordinary baker has some skills & a mysterious past. Harvey Keitel has a small supporting role amongst the googles, the pinks, & the loaf of bread. If you leave before the credits, you might a possible hint of one more final moment.

Alien gives it 2½  “Pappi’s Bake Shop” stars out of 4.

Barbie

Greta Gerwig & Noah Baumbach’s fantasy comedy begins with an homage to 1968’s “2001 Space Odyssey” intro, nearly a decade after the birth of the iconic Barbie doll by Mattel. This is parody of the whole Barbie image being pitched as the first adult figure doll replacing the baby dolls that came before. This is a nostalgic look back for all those going up playing with Barbies or had sisters who played with Barbies. Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie) & stereotypical Ken (Ryan Gosling) live in matriarchal Barbieland where everything is pink, pastel, & plastic. Everything is just like those memories of childhood play until one day things feel different for Barbie & she goes off to the Real World to find her solution. Ken tags along & is inspired to introduce a patriarchal system to Barbieland. Thus begins a battle of the sexes. This film explores the good & the bad issues of such an iconic image as it has grown over the years. It’s a fun movie but probably not quite the kids show that some parents may think it may be.

Alien gives it 3½ “Mojo Dojo Casa House” stars out of 4.

Talk To Me

Move over “Ouija” & “Truth or Dare”, there's a new party game on the big screen & it’s digital… well, it involves 90 seconds, a lit candle, & embalmed hand in cased in ceramic. It all starts off with an unexplained murder/suicide & a potential roadkill kangaroo. Next, teens gather for fun & games involving being strapped to a chair, gripping this ceramic hand,  & saying “talk to me…” The victims seem to go into some frightening hypnotic state & the viewers are quite amused by this game. Of course, they play it once too many times with a tragic result. Then there seems to be some side effects. Are they seeing dead people? Are they hallucinating? Has some evil possessed their minds? It’s hard to figure out where this plot is leading to as crazy scary images & events happen. It’s all kind of creepy, but in the end it’s disappointing where the story leads you to.

Alien gives it 2 “…I️ let you in” stars out of 4.

Oppenheimer 

Normally, this would be a dull routine documentary type film about a physicist who built the first atom bomb. However, Christopher Nolan’s brilliant talent tells J. Robert Oppenheimer’s story as only Nolan could. On large format film, without CGI, an all star cast, building suspense & intriguing details. Cillian Murphy, Emily Blunt, & Robert Downey Jr give outstanding performances. Rounding out the superb supporting cast includes Matt Damon, Florence Pugh, Josh Hartnett, Casey Affleck, Rami Malik, & Kenneth Branagh. Oppenheimer was a brilliant theoretical physicist, the father of the atom bomb, the genius behind the arms race for the biggest weapon of mass destruction, a suspected communist, & a womanizer. See how this all plays out in this 3 hour long film.

Alien gives it 3½ “Destroyer of the Worlds” stars out of 4.

Extraction 2

At the end of the original “Extraction”, our black ops mercenary hero, Tyler Rake (Chris Hemsworth) is severely wounded & falls off a bridge into the river below. Well, he was rescued & hospitalized in a coma, but  he slowly recovers to rehabilitate & retire in his isolated mountain cabin. Then one day, a man comes & makes him an offer he can’t refuse. So he contacts his old partners, Nik & Yaz, for yet another difficult & dangerous extradition. It’s another wild & crazy round of shoot ‘em up, blow ‘em up, & deadly hand-to-hand combat fighting à relentless crime syndicate mob. A prison break riot, armored train cars & a glass skyscraper are featured in the shootout scenes. This one is about family whether it’s by blood, marriage, or close friendships. Who will survive? Will Tyler sacrifice himself to save others? Will there be an “Extraction 3”?

Alien gives it 3 “Nagazi” stars out of 4.

Insidious: The Red Door

This is the fifth film of the franchise. The original, the sequel to the original, the prequel, the sequel to the prequel, & now this sequel to the first two chapters. Once again, we are back with the Lambert family as they deal with their repressed past. Father, Josh (Patrick Wilson), is now divorced from Renai (Rose Byrne). His mother, Lorraine, has just pasted away. His son, Dalton, is now off to college. Josh & Dalton don’t have the best father/son relationship & both independently begin having supernatural experiences of seeing & hearing things that can’t be explained. There are a few jump scares as the mystery of what’s going on is slowly revealed. I️ found this one more dark & murky than scary. Familiar faces pop up that will connect you back to the past films.

Alien gives it 2½ “artwork sketch” stars out of 4.

Joy Ride

Is “Joy Ride” the next generation’s “Joy Luck Club”? Four Asian females are on a road trip together when one bad thing after another upsets their plans. Audrey, the high achiever lawyer, is sent to Beijing to close a deal with a big client. She brings along  her childhood best friend, Lo Lo, as her translator. As a baby, Audry was adopted by Caucasian parents & was raised in a white community. She & Lo Lo were the only Asian girls in their town. Unknown to Audrey, Lo Lo invites her weird cousin, Deadeye, along too. In China, the ladies meet up with Kat, Audrey’s college BFF & now a famous Chinese actress. This girls road trip gone wrong film is rated R for raunchy. The film explores the differences between growing up Chinese American & mainland Chinese. Some of the references are rather subtle unless you grew up Chinese or Asian. In the end, each of these ladies find themselves searching for their identity & who they are. If your sense of humor leans towards the raunchy side, you may want to check this film out. The film gives off a “Bridesmaid” type vibe & Lo Lo’s character gives off a Awafina-esque sense of humor. Or maybe you just want to take a look at a different culture than your own. If you & your gal pals are looking for a riotous & raunchy girls night out, I’d recommend this for lots of laughs. Before filmmakers settled on their final title, they joked about calling “Joy Fuck Club”.

Alien gives it 3 “pussy tat” stars out of 4.

Mission:Impossible  - Dead Reckoning  - Part One

Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) & his Impossible Mission Force team are back with more thrills, chills, spills, fun, & games using masks, deceit, misdirection, & sleight of hand. See Tom run. Run Tom, run. Tom takes a lickin’ & keeps on tickin’. It’s old faces… Luther (Ving Rhames), Benji (Simon Pegg), Ilsa (Rebecca Ferguson), & the White Widow (Vanessa Kirby)… and it’s new faces… Grace (Hayley Atwell), Paris (Pom Klimentieff), & Gabriel (Esai Morales)… a talented pickpocket who can’t drive, a devilish assassin/henchman, & a terrorist who always seems 2 steps ahead. The 2 hour 43 minute runtime is hardly noticeable as the spectacular & mesmerizing chase/stunt/combat scenes will override your sense of time. Hunt’s IMF team is again labeled as going rogue as they search worldwide for the keys & the location of the weapon that threatens world domination. It’s wild action as cars, motorcycles, & trains are destroyed. This is a game of choices so choose wisely or it may cost a life. It’s not a cliffhanger but what is coming up in Part Two, hopefully we will know by next summer.

Alien get it 4 “Entity” stars out of 4.

Final Cut (Coupez!)

This is a French remake of a 2017 Japanese zombie comedy film, “One Cut of the Dead”. This was a free mystery movie event for me & the rest of the audience. The first act plays out like a cheap amateurish horror show so poorly made. Several people were exiting. Maybe they didn’t speak French, was their something lost in translation, hate reading subtitles, don’t like horror, not in the mood for comedy, or could not find anything amusing depicted on the big screen. But maybe they left too soon. Next, this very smart comedy starts to explain the backstory to this first act we just saw & the behind the scenes improv moments when the shoot goes awry. It’s a low budget film within a low budget film. I️ particularly enjoyed seeing how the low budget special effects were made. It’s not everyone’s taste & you got to stick with it to see the humor.

Alien gives it 3 “improvise” stars out of 4.

Sound of Freedom 

Based on a true story, Special Agent Tim Ballard (Jim Caviezel) of U.S. Homeland Security rescues a young boy from human traffickers. When he learns the boy’s sister may be still held captive, he quits his job & makes his mission to try & save her & other kidnapped kids like her. He goes the Colombia to investigate & sets up an elaborate sting operation. This is a well-made, little film just trying to get its message out about protecting our children these evil people.. This film was made 5 years ago, but it has taken this long to make it to the big screen with this marketing/distribution scheme.Real life photos & footage appear at the film’s end.

Alien gives it 3 “sex hotel” stars out of 4.