Alien at the Movies

Red One

Do you believe in Santa Claus? Well, there is a clandestine, multilateral military organization, MORA (Mythological Oversight & Restoration Authority) that oversees & protects the secret peace treaty between those mythological creatures & humanity. Thus, we have our doubts that Santa is even real. However, when Old Saint Nick, code name Red One (J.K. Simmons) gets kidnapped by an black ops team on Christmas Eve, Callum (Dwyane Johnson) the commander of North Pole’s ELF security (Enforcement Logistics & Fortification but also referred to as Extremely Large & Formidable) must find out who’s behind this evil plot & rescue Santa. Callum enlists the aid of a shady black hat hacker/tracker named Jack (Chris Evans) in his search. Things are starting to look a lot like Marvel meets Santa Claus in this action comedy twist about saving Christmas.There is a Christmas Witch Gryla, Krampus, & Abominable Snowmen as well as an employee contemplating retirement, a divorced guy with a kid, an adopted brother, & an ex-lover all rolled into this plot involving secret portholes, a magic gauntlet, snow globes, & a highly sought after naughty list. Lucy Lui & Bonnie Hunt are in the supporting cast. It’s silly family fiun entertainment.

Alien gives it 3 “Krampusschlap” stars out of 4.

Gladiator II

It’s 16 years after the original “Gladiator”. The Roman army invades North Africa & Lucius (Paul Mescal) is captured & enslaved. He becomes the property & pawn of Marcrinus (Denzel Washington). Denzel flashes his distinctive smile as his character plots. A slave’s main goal is to fight well, to survive, & to become a gladiator with a chance to earn his freedom. Lucius other goal is avenge the death of his wife. The twin emperors, Geta & Caracalla, rule Rome at its peak of opulence & decadence. Pedro Pascal plays general Marcus Acacius & Connie Nielsen plays Lucilla. There are dreams of a better Rome.  There are plots to seize power & change who rules Rome. There are past relationships revealed. There are some amazing & incredible arena battles scenes involving men, animals, & galleys. This is a fascinating look back into history. See what Rome may have looked like in its glory.

Alien gives it 3½ “monkey eater & prince of Rome” stars out of 4.

Venom: The Last Dance

Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy) & Venom return in this third installment of the trilogy. On the run since the Carnage episode, they are getting drunk in Mexico & decide to go to New York City to clear Eddie’s name in connection to a murder. Along their way, they get diverted to Las Vegas & Area 51, are hunted down by the Imperium military group, get attacked by xenophages sent by Knull searching for the Codex, & meet a hippy family of alien enthusiasts. It’s a battle for survival & redemption in this crazy CGI action film. Will this be the last time we will see Venom? Will Knull escape his prison? Will Eddie be finally symbiote free? Look for a mid credit promise & an end of credit reveal.

Alien gives it 3 “shoeless Eddie” stars out of 4.

Killer Heat

On the Greek island of Crete, American private detective Nick Bali (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is secretly hired by Penelope Vardakis (Shailene Woodley) to investigate the death of her husband Elias’ identical twin brother Leo. The wealthy Vardakis family controls the police & nearly everyone on the island so the case was closed & ruled as an accidental death. She tells Nick she suspects it may have been murder. The family fears any more attention may harm the family’s business stock value. This is a modern day noir murder mystery detective story complete with the troubled sleuth’s voiceover narration. It’s a tale of jealousy & betrayal with the focus on the key suspects: the brother, the wife, & the mother. I️ had my suspicions from the get go, but there were some twists & turns that I️ did not see coming. Who will take the fall? Who will survive the outcome? Will Nick get some closure? 

Alien gives it 2½ “freedom” stars out of 4.

The Royal Bake Off

Former friends & coworkers, Allie & Marily, are now competitors in their small town of  Meadow Ridge. They both learned to bake working with Nana Lola. However, they had a falling out & each opened their own bakeries. When the Prince of Samavia arrives looking a coronation cake for his brother’s celebration, the rivalry between Allie & Marily intensifies. Prince James’ fond childhood memories of Nana Lola’s special cake brought him back to Meadow Ridge for that tasty treat. A bake off is proposed to choose the royal baker for the coronation. It”s a fairly generic & predictable rom/com plot. Jealousy & competitiveness get in the way of fair play until these two ladies realize the error of their ways. It’s lighthearted entertainment.

Alien gives it 2 “Double Strawberry Charlotte Cake” stars out of 4.

Canary Black

Avery Graves (Kate Beckinsale) is a CIA agent forced to retrieve a mysterious file referred to as “Canary Black” in order to save her kidnapped husband, David. She must go against her CIA counterparts with the clock ticking. This is mostly a series of big action scenes tying together a blackmail scheme to trigger a bigger blackmail scheme with Agent Graves almost single handily battling on her coerced mission. Who can she trust? With twists & turns, Graves must get down to the truth, rescue her husband, & save the day. It’s almost a given that the hero will almost always save the day, but will she have brunt too many bridges along the way? Will she be able to save her husband & their marriage? What is this Canary Black? Will there be a sequel for Agent Graves? Ray Stevenson costars.

Alien gives it 2½ “MC6 & that crazy bitch” stars out of 4.

 Magpie

 Ben & Anette’s (Daisy Ridley) young daughter, Matilda, lands a starring role along side of a popular & glamorous movie star, Alicia. Ben chaperones Matilda to the film sets, while Anette stays home to care for their fussy newborn. Ben soon finds himself attracted to the flirty Alicia. However, when Anette suspects that Ben may be infatuated with Alicia & possibly been unfaithful, she seeks out evidence of any secrets & lies that her husband may be harboring. We watch the disintegration of their marriage as the tension builds with each romantic text message that flashes across the phone screens. The surprise conclusion happens after the film shoots are finally over. Will Ben & Alicia’s relationship be finally over now? Will Ben & Annette finally get to patch up their waning relationship? Is there divorce in the picture? I️ was completely caught off guard with this film. I may have to rewatch this film.

Alien gives it 3½ “Hell has no fury like a woman scorned” stars out of 4. 

Brothers

This crime comedy features Jady (Peter Dinklage) & Moke (Josh Brolin) as twin brothers of a family of felons, the Mungers. Casting these 2 leads is reminiscent of Danny DeVito & Arnold Schwarzenegger in “Twins” without the genetics experimentation explanation. Jady was always the brains of the two while Moke was the muscle & the man with the skills. Chased by the police after an emerald gems heist, their mom, Cath, disappears for 30 years with her boyfriend, Glen. As the Munger brothers’ life of crime continues, Jady takes the fall one night while Moke escapes. Moke goes straight & gets married. After years in prison, Jady gets an early parole through a shady deal with a crooked correctional officer, Farful (Brendan Fraser) & his crooked father, Judge Farful (M. Emmet Walsh). Then, mom Cath (Glenn Close) shows up to dig up the hidden gems with the help of her sons. Marissa Tomei is among the supporting cast. This is supposed to be a screwball comedy, but seems more like a series of odd quirky situations strung together. In the end, it’s all about being a family & looking out for each other. I’m not even sure why these famed actors signed up for this project. I️ don’t feel the chemistry between the actors & the film just feels flat barely raising a chuckle & a grin. Maybe it’s just not my sense of humor.

Alien gives it 1½ “friendly orangutan” stars out of 4. 

Late Bloomers

Louise (Karen Gillian) is an aimless 28-year-old who breaks her hip while drunk one night. While at the hospital, she meets an angry cranky elderly Polish woman, Antonia, who doesn’t speak English & seems to be mad at everyone & everything. Louise is too kind hearted & tries to be nice to Antonia. She ends up being hired as Antonia’s caretaker. This is a funny & emotional drama/comedy as two slowly bond without admitting it to each other. We slowly learn about why each are the way they are. Antonia only speaks in Polish with no translation. So Louise’s reactions & monologues tries to explain their situations. This coming-of-age growing up story is frustratingly funny with a feel good ending.

Alien gives it 3 “diapers, dance, & physical therapy” stars out of 4.

Goodrich

Andy Goodrich is about to get a wake up call that will take him on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Andy (Michael Keaton) is a 60-year-old art dealer, married to a much younger wife, Naomi, & has 9-year-old twins, Billie & Mose. Late one night, he gets a call from Naomi saying she has checked into rehab & is thinking about leaving him. Now he is faced with all of those parenting responsibilities his wife took care of, while he was so busy with work. As he struggles playing single dad, he calls up his 36-year-old daughter, Grace (Mila Kunis) from his first marriage for help. Andy is also stressed because of financial problems at his art gallery. This drama comedy deals with parenting issues, father/child bonds, & trying to multitask. Keaton & Kunis are outstanding & will bring you to tears & give you some laughs. Can Andy reinvent himself into being a better dad? Can he save his failing business? Can he patch things up with his older daughter? This is a funny bittersweet journey for a man trying to be a good dad & provider as well as trying to make amends for past failures.

Alien gives it 3 “Where is mom?” stars out of 4.