Alien at the Movies

Smile 2

This is a behind-the-scenes & backstage look at the life of Skye Ryder (Naomi Scott), a pop music star celebrity sensation, but it has a psychological horror twist to it. After recovering from a tragic auto accident & a stint in rehab for drugs & alcohol addiction, Skye is about to relaunch her career with a world tour. She is feeling the stresses being placed on her. The rehearsals, her controlling mom, her fans, her personal appearances, & a nagging back injury are getting to her. When she sneaks out to secretly get pain meds from her friend Lewis, a tragic self-mutilation death occurs. Thus, begins Skye’s horrifying journey where she is haunted by creepy smiling faces. This sequel to the 2022 original “Smile” also leaves audiences to ponder whether is she just hallucinating, or is this some paranormal curse, or is this some parasitic demonic infection. Expect much blood & gore as Skye’s torment escalates to the point that she can’t recognize what is real & what is not. The film is filled with lots of beautiful as well as horrific images. There will be those anticipated jump scares always lurking. Scott is terrific as the diva who seems to have gone madly insane. I️ did love the choreographed song & dance numbers. The film climaxes at Skye’s big comeback concert but may leave you wondering what have you just seen. The experience is mind bending & your eyes won’t be able to unsee certain scenes. Be forewarned that this may not be your cup of tea & may leave you with emotional scars.

Alien gives it 3 “Stay hydrated & I️ am in control” stars out of 4. 

Popular Theory

It’s “Gifted” meets “Mean Girls” meets “Frankenstein” when 12-year-old genius, Erwin, finds herself in social isolation at her new high school. She doesn’t have any friends & even her older sister/fellow classmate thinks she is a social leper. When new student/chemistry genius/fellow outcast, Winston, arrives, Erwin faces a challenging competitor. However, determined to win the State Science Fair Contest, both team up & create a popularity chemical that can change their high school hierarchy. As they run their lab rat experiments to test their new drug, things begin to get way out of hand in this comedy about friendships, popularity, & sibling bonding. This is a fun family film targeting preteens.

Alien gives it 2½ “chewing gum sticks” stars out of 4.

Salem’s Lot

Author Ben Mears returns to his childhood hometown of Jerusalem’s Lot to do some research for his next book. A strange European man, Straker, also comes to town & opens an antique shop. What begins a a little romance story shifts to  horror take. Suddenly, a young boy disappears. Next, his brother is diagnosed to have died from a rare blood condition. When more people disappear, it’s rumored that there is a vampire in town. A group forms to prepare & protect themselves from the growing vampire population. One by one, the people are turned. Who will survive these creatures of the night? 

Alien gives it 3 “Night at the Drive-In” stars out of 4.

Terrifier

With the recent release of the next sequel, Terrifier 3, I️ thought I️ might check out this original 2016 film to see what this franchise was about.

It’s Halloween season & there is creepy clown with black & white face makeup wearing a tiny black hat who is stalking a neighborhood brutally & viscously slaying people. If you like your horror shows sadistically savage, bloody, & gory, Art the Clown maybe the evil psycho that you are looking for. There is not much to this simple & predictable plot but just a string of ghastly butchering of pretty girls & dumb guys. Expose a couple of breasts to titillate the boys. It’s a bloodbath & the clown never seems to stay down. Will any of his victims survive the night? Will Art the Clown be found at the morgue? Well, with 2 sequels, this clown obviously has returned for more murder & mayhem. I️ would suspect by viewing just this one, most would get the message & their fill of horrendously bloody images. But if your blood lust hasn’t been quenched, you’ll probably seek more disturbing imagery from this demented clown.

Alien gives it 1½ “split & decapitated” stars out of 4.

Cinderella’s Revenge

We all know the Cinderella's fairy tale, especially the Disney animated classic, as well as some of the many retelling of it in so many variations. Well, this is a more darker version with a twist. It’s the same basic story: stepmother & 2 stepsisters treating Cinderella like a servant, the prince & the royal ball, fairy godmother, glass slipper, & such. Well, this is no “bibbidi bobbidi boo” fairy godmother for she conjures up Tom Ford, Vidal Sassoon, Christian Louboutin, & Elon Musk to do Cinderella’s complete makeover. The stepmother is exceptionally cruel & murderous. The stepsisters are not ugly but trashy & crude. With a devilish glint, fairy godmother supplies Cinderella with the implement that seduces sweet Cindy to the Dark Side as she savagely & bloodily vanquishes all those who have wronged her. Filmmakers are trying to have fun with their twisted tale but it just comes off as overly melodramatic, unfunny, not suspenseful, & rather dumb. With black comedy, there is a fine line to tip toe along & that mark was missed. With the nudity, sexual innuendos, bloody gore, & language, this is no fairy tale for the kiddies but there is not much thrill or excitement for any adults either. It’s mostly stupid & silly, not focusing on any target audience.

Alien gives it 1 “Hammer pants, lavender scent, & croquet mallet” star out of 4.

Trouble 

An awkward electronics salesman, Conny, is wrongfully convicted of murder, ends up in prison, & must escape to prove his innocence. This is a remake of the 1988 Swedish crime comedy called “Strul”. This is your basic fish-out-of-water scenario when the inept Conny finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time & becomes the fall guy to take the rap for murder. This is a comedy of errors when he becomes entangled with a prison escape & getaway plan, police corruption, & criminal conspiracy. It’s goofy fun & entertainment as silly mistakes & coincidences lead to the big finale. 

Alien gives it 2½ “noise cancelling headphones, big screen televisions, & shaved eyebrows” stars out of 4.

Blink

This documentary chronicles a Canadian family’s year long global trip capturing their journey to experience the world’s beauty. The Pelletier family of six has decided to make this trip when 3 of their 4 kids are diagnosed with a rare incurable genetic disorder that leads to permanent blindness. It’s a once in a lifetime adventure to see things on their check off list before the darkness befalls them. Witness the family’s memories of their breathtaking destinations & encounters, their love, their resilience, & their sense of wonder as they refuse to let their uncertain future define their present. It’s a heartwarming story of a loving family dealing a difficult situation.

Alien gives it 3 “from mountains to deserts to rainforests” stars out of 4.

House of Spoils

A talented sous chef (Adriana DeBose) quits her job at a high end fine dining establishment to open her own restaurant upstate in a remote quaint old estate. This new place has been abandoned for quite a bit & needs lots of clean up. She begins to hear funny noises on the property. She is battling kitchen chaos: bug infestations & spoiling foods. Is the place cursed & haunted by a supernatural presence or is she hallucinating? Something seems to sabotage her initial test runs. Her investors are threatening to pull out. She begins to have self doubts about her new business. She learns from a local that her place used to be own by a lady thought to be a witch who held mystical ceremonies with her coven there. Then, she finds a secret garden that seems to turn things around for her. On the night of her restaurant’s grand opening things get really weird. Will her business become successful? Or will she succumb to some mysterious presence? This one is more eerie than scary. The tasty treats for the eye seem to be overshadowed by more disgusting images. The film seems to be driven more by certain scenes presented than the murky plot. However, I did like DeBose’s performance. This one was never destined to play at theaters but check it out at one of those streaming services.

Alien gives it 2 “cauldron boil & bubble” stars out of 4.

 Something in the Water

It’s “Open Water” meets “Adrift” meets “The Shallows” when 5 ladies/best friends attend a destination wedding in the West Indies. Ruth, Cam, Lizzie, Kayla, & Meg take a girls fun day at a secluded island miles off shore from their resort hotel the day before the big wedding. What could go wrong? But there is a bridezilla, an estranged lesbian couple, a shark bite, a rented skiff, shallow reefs, a non-swimmer, one life jacket, one knife, one buoy, no cell phone service, & something circling in the waters. As exhaustion & desperation sets in, tempers flare, bricking begins, & blame is laid. Will anyone survive bobbing up & down in these waters for hours? It’s fairly predictable except for which of  these “ten little Indians” will escape from being shark bait.

Alien gives it 2½ “bracelets” stars out of 4.

Lee

Lee Miller (Kate Winslet) was an American model turned photographer for British Vogue Magazine. When World War II️ erupted, Lee was eager to head for the front lines to capture those dangerous & tragic moments of war. However, being a woman she was discriminated against & not allowed. She was kept away from the front lines & the real action. This is her story as a war correspondent/photojournalist. How she quietly worked to tell her visual story but was denied. Then, how her story finally was finally revealed. Winslet is amazing & never disappoints. At the end, Lee’s real photo images are revealed in comparison to this film’s captured moments.

Alien gives it 3 “Hitler’s bathtub” stars out of 4.