Thursday, August 26, 2004
Anacondas: The Hunt For the Blood Orchid
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the jungle... here come giant anacondas. A greedy corporation sponsors a scientific expedition to Borneo in search of the blood orchid, a possible fountain of youth, and discovers some scary creatures in the water. Sound familiar? (Hint: "Aliens vs Predators" meets "Open Water") In this horror thriller, the best acting performance was given by Kong, the pet monkey who is a real scene stealer. The dramatic lines written for and acted by the humans appeared more comical on screen, but they actually added to the enjoyment of the movie. If you don't take it too seriously, you can have some thrills and fun; after all, there are no anacondas native to Borneo nor are they large enough to swallow humans whole.
Alien gives it 2 bloody fun, snake-eyed stars out of 4.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the jungle... here come giant anacondas. A greedy corporation sponsors a scientific expedition to Borneo in search of the blood orchid, a possible fountain of youth, and discovers some scary creatures in the water. Sound familiar? (Hint: "Aliens vs Predators" meets "Open Water") In this horror thriller, the best acting performance was given by Kong, the pet monkey who is a real scene stealer. The dramatic lines written for and acted by the humans appeared more comical on screen, but they actually added to the enjoyment of the movie. If you don't take it too seriously, you can have some thrills and fun; after all, there are no anacondas native to Borneo nor are they large enough to swallow humans whole.
Alien gives it 2 bloody fun, snake-eyed stars out of 4.
Friday, August 20, 2004
Exorcist: The Beginning
What a bloody, gory mess... both visually and literally. This prequel is set in Kenya, 1949. Father Merrin from the original movie is trapped in this confused collection of horror moments taking shape in the form of hyenas, crows, flies, maggots, and possessed souls. Then add some nightmares of Nazis to the mix. Rated R for the expected vile language (the devil made them do it) and the necessary blood and gore in such a film. Someone should call a real priest to exorcise the demons from this film.
Alien gives it 1 ½ prepossessed stars out of 4.
What a bloody, gory mess... both visually and literally. This prequel is set in Kenya, 1949. Father Merrin from the original movie is trapped in this confused collection of horror moments taking shape in the form of hyenas, crows, flies, maggots, and possessed souls. Then add some nightmares of Nazis to the mix. Rated R for the expected vile language (the devil made them do it) and the necessary blood and gore in such a film. Someone should call a real priest to exorcise the demons from this film.
Alien gives it 1 ½ prepossessed stars out of 4.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Open Water
It's "Blair Witch" meets "Jaws" with a splash of Alfred Hitchcock's "Lifeboat". Just when you thought it was safe to go on a scuba diving vacation in the ocean. A married couple stressed from work take time off to relax and end up possible shark bait. Witness their struggle and desperation, behaving like a real married couple even while bobbing in the ocean. Rated R for language from the understandably angry couple and some brief unnecessary nudity. The movie is based on true events. The couple felt real as well as their terror.
Alien gives it 2 ½ starfish stars out of 4.
It's "Blair Witch" meets "Jaws" with a splash of Alfred Hitchcock's "Lifeboat". Just when you thought it was safe to go on a scuba diving vacation in the ocean. A married couple stressed from work take time off to relax and end up possible shark bait. Witness their struggle and desperation, behaving like a real married couple even while bobbing in the ocean. Rated R for language from the understandably angry couple and some brief unnecessary nudity. The movie is based on true events. The couple felt real as well as their terror.
Alien gives it 2 ½ starfish stars out of 4.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Garden State
You get grave diggers, a motorcycle with side car, and silent velcro in this movie filmed in New Jersey. Zach Braff (best known as JD from TV's Scrubs) does an amazing job directing, writing, and starring in this quirky romantic comedy about a young man returning home for his mother's funeral after 9 years. He meets and reunites with some interesting and weird characters. Especially delightful is Natalie Portman's portrayal of Sam, the love interest. Alien really enjoyed this very funny, refreshing, and surprising off-beat comedy about dealing with the past, living the present, and figuring out the future. This movie is rated R for language, drug use, and sexual content.
Alien gives it 3 Zach Braff actor/writer/director stars out of 4.
You get grave diggers, a motorcycle with side car, and silent velcro in this movie filmed in New Jersey. Zach Braff (best known as JD from TV's Scrubs) does an amazing job directing, writing, and starring in this quirky romantic comedy about a young man returning home for his mother's funeral after 9 years. He meets and reunites with some interesting and weird characters. Especially delightful is Natalie Portman's portrayal of Sam, the love interest. Alien really enjoyed this very funny, refreshing, and surprising off-beat comedy about dealing with the past, living the present, and figuring out the future. This movie is rated R for language, drug use, and sexual content.
Alien gives it 3 Zach Braff actor/writer/director stars out of 4.
Friday, August 13, 2004
Alien vs. Predator
How could this critic resist a movie title like this one? It's scientific expedition meets right of passage ritual. This great summer thriller and scare has all of the answers. What is under the great unknown of Antarctica? Who built the Aztec, Cambodian, and Egyptian pyramids? What is the possible origin of the android Bishop in the "Alien" movies? If two of sci-fi's best creatures met in battle, who would win? If you have seen the previous "Alien" and "Predator" movies, you'll cringe in your seat because you will know what's coming. If you haven't, you'll jump out of your seat because you won't know what's coming.
Alien (the critic) gives it 3 ½ extraterrestrial stars out of 4.
How could this critic resist a movie title like this one? It's scientific expedition meets right of passage ritual. This great summer thriller and scare has all of the answers. What is under the great unknown of Antarctica? Who built the Aztec, Cambodian, and Egyptian pyramids? What is the possible origin of the android Bishop in the "Alien" movies? If two of sci-fi's best creatures met in battle, who would win? If you have seen the previous "Alien" and "Predator" movies, you'll cringe in your seat because you will know what's coming. If you haven't, you'll jump out of your seat because you won't know what's coming.
Alien (the critic) gives it 3 ½ extraterrestrial stars out of 4.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
A Home at the End of the World
This charming, bittersweet film portrays what home and family mean to a young man named Bobby, revealed in a remarkable performance of innocence and tenderness by Colin Farrel. At the center of the movie is a strange love triangle between Colin, Robin Wright Penn, and Dallas Roberts. Sissy Spacek and Matt Frewer are also good in supporting roles. The characters are colorful and interesting. The music, clothes, hairdos, and appliances takes you back through the 60's, 70's, and 80's. Rated R for nudity, language, drug use, and sexual content.
Alien gives it 2½ tri-stars out of 4.
This charming, bittersweet film portrays what home and family mean to a young man named Bobby, revealed in a remarkable performance of innocence and tenderness by Colin Farrel. At the center of the movie is a strange love triangle between Colin, Robin Wright Penn, and Dallas Roberts. Sissy Spacek and Matt Frewer are also good in supporting roles. The characters are colorful and interesting. The music, clothes, hairdos, and appliances takes you back through the 60's, 70's, and 80's. Rated R for nudity, language, drug use, and sexual content.
Alien gives it 2½ tri-stars out of 4.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Collateral
Michael Mann's direction takes us on a crazy cab ride through the late night in L.A. with Tom Cruise as the gray-haired, cold-blooded, efficient contract killer. And Tom takes Jamie Foxx, the reluctant cabbie, for the ride of his life. Jamie really shines as the under-achieving, idealistic dreamer who must step up to reality and finally go for it. Though slow-paced in the beginning with flashes of action and humor, the tension really builds at the end. Alien enjoyed the bond developed between Tom and Jamie in their cat and mouse game, trying to survive the night.
Alien gives it 3 death stars out of 4.
Michael Mann's direction takes us on a crazy cab ride through the late night in L.A. with Tom Cruise as the gray-haired, cold-blooded, efficient contract killer. And Tom takes Jamie Foxx, the reluctant cabbie, for the ride of his life. Jamie really shines as the under-achieving, idealistic dreamer who must step up to reality and finally go for it. Though slow-paced in the beginning with flashes of action and humor, the tension really builds at the end. Alien enjoyed the bond developed between Tom and Jamie in their cat and mouse game, trying to survive the night.
Alien gives it 3 death stars out of 4.
