Friday, August 26, 2005
The Brothers Grimm
Once upon a time in a village far, far away… Matt Damon and Heath Ledger play Will and Jake Grimm (in real life, Wilhelm and Jacob) in this whimsical, make-believe story of their lives, incorporating many of their fairy tale features. How many can you spot? Some are famous and some are lesser known. The brothers, here, are con men pretending to vanquish demons and witches from unsuspecting villages until they are caught and forced to enter a real enchanted forest in an attempt to rescue several missing girls. Expect an evil witch, a big bad wolf, black crows, frogs to be kissed, and creepy, crawly bugs in this dark and scary, but quirky and funny fairy tale. At the end, see if they all live happily ever after.
Alien gives it 3 “mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all” stars out of 4.
Once upon a time in a village far, far away… Matt Damon and Heath Ledger play Will and Jake Grimm (in real life, Wilhelm and Jacob) in this whimsical, make-believe story of their lives, incorporating many of their fairy tale features. How many can you spot? Some are famous and some are lesser known. The brothers, here, are con men pretending to vanquish demons and witches from unsuspecting villages until they are caught and forced to enter a real enchanted forest in an attempt to rescue several missing girls. Expect an evil witch, a big bad wolf, black crows, frogs to be kissed, and creepy, crawly bugs in this dark and scary, but quirky and funny fairy tale. At the end, see if they all live happily ever after.
Alien gives it 3 “mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all” stars out of 4.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
The Cave
When scientists stumble upon the ruins of a 13th century abbey, they also discover a cave with a new species lurking inside… and then the fun begins.
Alien has sent out his team of amateur critics and spelunkers to review “The Cave” and is still waiting for the reports on this new horror flick to come in.
Report #1: bad acting, bad plot, no stars.
Report #2: good acting, good storyline, 3 stars out of 4.
Report#3: enjoyed the acting and the plot giving it 2.4 stars, but his spouse liked it more giving it 2.8 stars (he favors the 10-star system so Alien did the conversion).
When scientists stumble upon the ruins of a 13th century abbey, they also discover a cave with a new species lurking inside… and then the fun begins.
Alien has sent out his team of amateur critics and spelunkers to review “The Cave” and is still waiting for the reports on this new horror flick to come in.
Report #1: bad acting, bad plot, no stars.
Report #2: good acting, good storyline, 3 stars out of 4.
Report#3: enjoyed the acting and the plot giving it 2.4 stars, but his spouse liked it more giving it 2.8 stars (he favors the 10-star system so Alien did the conversion).
Valiant
This is not a sneak preview. This movie has already been released.
What were the people at Disney thinking when they dreamed up this animated tale? This World War II parody of the RAF, Royal Air Force, isn’t funny for kids or adults. With a lame story line, this animation will be blasted and go down in flames.
Alien gives it 1 ½ “crash and burn” stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This movie has already been released.
What were the people at Disney thinking when they dreamed up this animated tale? This World War II parody of the RAF, Royal Air Force, isn’t funny for kids or adults. With a lame story line, this animation will be blasted and go down in flames.
Alien gives it 1 ½ “crash and burn” stars out of 4.
The Constant Gardener
The mysterious murder of a dedicated activist leads her husband on a search to find the truth behind her death, taking him to Africa and Germany. Director Fernando Meirelles uses powerful images of Kenya, the people, the slums, and the land, to illustrate his film. Ralph Fiennes gives a strong performance as the suffering man who has lost the love of his life. However, the movie develops so slowly that it’s like watching grass grow.
Alien gives it 2 “mulch” stars out of 4.
The mysterious murder of a dedicated activist leads her husband on a search to find the truth behind her death, taking him to Africa and Germany. Director Fernando Meirelles uses powerful images of Kenya, the people, the slums, and the land, to illustrate his film. Ralph Fiennes gives a strong performance as the suffering man who has lost the love of his life. However, the movie develops so slowly that it’s like watching grass grow.
Alien gives it 2 “mulch” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Red Eye
Booked on the red eye flight to Miami, Rachel McAdams finds herself blackmailed and trapped by a creepy guy involved in an assassination attempt. Wes Craven manages to capture the full airplane experience in his latest thriller. Like Southwest Airlines, the movie is simple, no frills, and efficient. McAdams, who previously starred in “Mean Girls”, “The Notebook”, and “The Wedding Crashers”, is fast becoming one of Alien’s favorite faces to watch on the big screen.
Alien gives it 3 “fear of flying” stars out 4.
Booked on the red eye flight to Miami, Rachel McAdams finds herself blackmailed and trapped by a creepy guy involved in an assassination attempt. Wes Craven manages to capture the full airplane experience in his latest thriller. Like Southwest Airlines, the movie is simple, no frills, and efficient. McAdams, who previously starred in “Mean Girls”, “The Notebook”, and “The Wedding Crashers”, is fast becoming one of Alien’s favorite faces to watch on the big screen.
Alien gives it 3 “fear of flying” stars out 4.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Supercross: The Movie
This film is a poor man’s “Days of Thunder” on 2 wheels and on a dirt track. Two brothers with motocross in their blood compete in supercross races shot at full speed, but shifting in mid-flight to super slo-mo. If you like motorcycles and motocross, you may enjoy this race film.
Alien gives it 2 “crotch rocket” stars out of 4.
This film is a poor man’s “Days of Thunder” on 2 wheels and on a dirt track. Two brothers with motocross in their blood compete in supercross races shot at full speed, but shifting in mid-flight to super slo-mo. If you like motorcycles and motocross, you may enjoy this race film.
Alien gives it 2 “crotch rocket” stars out of 4.
Friday, August 12, 2005
The 40 Year Old Virgin
This is an awful movie title for an outrageously funny sex comedy. If you are still a virgin, this film has everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask. Friends/coworkers come to the aid of a 40 year old virgin who collects action figures and rides a bicycle for his main source of transportation. Of course, this film is rated “R” because it revolves around the subject of sex.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In” stars out of 4.
ps Thank you L.B. for the pass.
This is an awful movie title for an outrageously funny sex comedy. If you are still a virgin, this film has everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask. Friends/coworkers come to the aid of a 40 year old virgin who collects action figures and rides a bicycle for his main source of transportation. Of course, this film is rated “R” because it revolves around the subject of sex.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In” stars out of 4.
ps Thank you L.B. for the pass.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Sky High
This is not a sneak preview. This movie has already released.
It’s “The Incredibles” meets “Mean Girls” meets “Harry Potter” in this Disney spoof on super heroes and their sidekicks. See how teens handle super powers and puberty together. It’s silly, campy, and kind of cheesy, but it’s fun at the same time. Alien thinks this film is good clean family entertainment for kids and adults.
Alien gives it 3 “Holy Cow, Batman” stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This movie has already released.
It’s “The Incredibles” meets “Mean Girls” meets “Harry Potter” in this Disney spoof on super heroes and their sidekicks. See how teens handle super powers and puberty together. It’s silly, campy, and kind of cheesy, but it’s fun at the same time. Alien thinks this film is good clean family entertainment for kids and adults.
Alien gives it 3 “Holy Cow, Batman” stars out of 4.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
This is not a sneak preview. This movie has already released.
First off, Alien has not read the book nor seen the 1971 Willy Wonka version. Tim Burton has created a weird and peculiar world tailored to a child’s imagination. This cleverly composed movie will appeal to the young and old. Adults will be entertained through the many cliché images and dialogue, while kids will instantly recognize and react instinctively and emotionally to the familiar childhood situations. The tour of the chocolate factory becomes a trip to colorful candyland.
Alien gives it 3 “golden ticket” stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This movie has already released.
First off, Alien has not read the book nor seen the 1971 Willy Wonka version. Tim Burton has created a weird and peculiar world tailored to a child’s imagination. This cleverly composed movie will appeal to the young and old. Adults will be entertained through the many cliché images and dialogue, while kids will instantly recognize and react instinctively and emotionally to the familiar childhood situations. The tour of the chocolate factory becomes a trip to colorful candyland.
Alien gives it 3 “golden ticket” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Skeleton Key
A hospice caretaker (Kate Hudson) takes a job assisting a stroke victim in the bayou country and gets more than she bargains for. A skeleton key gives Kate access to a secret room in the attic of an old dilapidated southern mansion surrounded by creepy characters as the mystery involving hoodoo, American folk magic, begins to unravel. Most of the movie had the feeling of wading and plodding through the Cajun swamp until that vicious gator tries to bite at the end, but Alien could see it coming. If you are a true believer, you may enjoy this one.
Alien gives it 2 “protection spell” stars out of 4.
A hospice caretaker (Kate Hudson) takes a job assisting a stroke victim in the bayou country and gets more than she bargains for. A skeleton key gives Kate access to a secret room in the attic of an old dilapidated southern mansion surrounded by creepy characters as the mystery involving hoodoo, American folk magic, begins to unravel. Most of the movie had the feeling of wading and plodding through the Cajun swamp until that vicious gator tries to bite at the end, but Alien could see it coming. If you are a true believer, you may enjoy this one.
Alien gives it 2 “protection spell” stars out of 4.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Four Brothers
It’s the “O.K. Corral” with automatic weapons meets the “French Connection” on ice when the “Four Musketeers” return to Motown to bury their mother, who was an innocent bystander killed during a grocery store holdup. Or was it a setup? Why are two of the brothers white and the other two black? Some bonds are stronger than blood when these four misfits seek revenge “Dirty Harry” style. This film is rated “R” for strong violence, language, and sexual content. It’s raw. It’s intense. It’s fun if vengeance is your game.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “Death Wish” stars out of 4.
It’s the “O.K. Corral” with automatic weapons meets the “French Connection” on ice when the “Four Musketeers” return to Motown to bury their mother, who was an innocent bystander killed during a grocery store holdup. Or was it a setup? Why are two of the brothers white and the other two black? Some bonds are stronger than blood when these four misfits seek revenge “Dirty Harry” style. This film is rated “R” for strong violence, language, and sexual content. It’s raw. It’s intense. It’s fun if vengeance is your game.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “Death Wish” stars out of 4.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Rolling Stones: At the MAX
This is not a sneak preview. This IMAX film has already been released. There is only one week left for this very short limited engagement in Alien's town.
Fifteen dollars is a bargain for a Rolling Stones concert (which averages about $200 these days) and you get the best seat in the house. Mick Jagger and the concert crowd bring tremendous energy to this larger than life show. Mick prances and dances and struts his stuff during this Steel Wheels Tour. Mick and his boys look like they are having great fun on stage. Add a couple of huge inflatable girls and wild dogs, some pryrotechnics, and 15 songs to a concert experience shot from every angle. At the end of 90 minutes, your ears will feel like you have been at a Stones concert.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “sing along” stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This IMAX film has already been released. There is only one week left for this very short limited engagement in Alien's town.
Fifteen dollars is a bargain for a Rolling Stones concert (which averages about $200 these days) and you get the best seat in the house. Mick Jagger and the concert crowd bring tremendous energy to this larger than life show. Mick prances and dances and struts his stuff during this Steel Wheels Tour. Mick and his boys look like they are having great fun on stage. Add a couple of huge inflatable girls and wild dogs, some pryrotechnics, and 15 songs to a concert experience shot from every angle. At the end of 90 minutes, your ears will feel like you have been at a Stones concert.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “sing along” stars out of 4.
Friday, August 05, 2005
The Chumscrubbers
Chumscrubbers is the name of a comic, cartoon, and video game about a headless, anti-hero survivor of an apocalyptic world. It has nothing to do with the movie except to serve as the icon of the film’s troubled youths. This surreal, dark comedy views the very different but parallel worlds of teens and adults in Hillside, the perfect suburban community. The teens are abusing prescription drugs and the parents are just too busy in their own fantasy existence to notice. Filmed more from the teen’s perspective, it’s too bad the “R” rating would keep real world teens out of the theater unless accompanied by an adult. But then again, maybe a family viewing would stimulate teens and their parents to have the important discussions that their movie counterparts are missing. The movie features a good cast, including Glenn Close, Rita Wilson, Carrie-Ann Moss, Allison Janney, Lauren Holly, Ralph Fiennes, John Heard, and some talented teen actors.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “Generation Rx” stars out of 4.
Chumscrubbers is the name of a comic, cartoon, and video game about a headless, anti-hero survivor of an apocalyptic world. It has nothing to do with the movie except to serve as the icon of the film’s troubled youths. This surreal, dark comedy views the very different but parallel worlds of teens and adults in Hillside, the perfect suburban community. The teens are abusing prescription drugs and the parents are just too busy in their own fantasy existence to notice. Filmed more from the teen’s perspective, it’s too bad the “R” rating would keep real world teens out of the theater unless accompanied by an adult. But then again, maybe a family viewing would stimulate teens and their parents to have the important discussions that their movie counterparts are missing. The movie features a good cast, including Glenn Close, Rita Wilson, Carrie-Ann Moss, Allison Janney, Lauren Holly, Ralph Fiennes, John Heard, and some talented teen actors.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “Generation Rx” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
The Dukes of Hazzard
The Duke boys have returned and welcome you back to Hazzard County with their own special brand of Southern hospitality. Just as in the original TV series, expect bar room brawls, car chases and crashes galore, inept deputies, white lightning, flaming arrows and explosions, a thin plot, and those famous daisy dukes. Though the film’s cast doesn’t resemble the original characters much, the movie is true to the spirit of the TV show. Johnny Knoxville (Luke Duke), Seann William Scott (Bo Duke), and the General Lee dominate the film. Jessica Simpson (Daisy Duke) hardly acts and mostly struts her stuff. Willy Nelson (Uncle Jesse) has the best and funniest lines. So if you are feeling a bit childish and/or red-neckish, this may be your summer fun movie with its hillbilly humor and dirt road racing.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “moonshine, rum running” stars out of 4.
The Duke boys have returned and welcome you back to Hazzard County with their own special brand of Southern hospitality. Just as in the original TV series, expect bar room brawls, car chases and crashes galore, inept deputies, white lightning, flaming arrows and explosions, a thin plot, and those famous daisy dukes. Though the film’s cast doesn’t resemble the original characters much, the movie is true to the spirit of the TV show. Johnny Knoxville (Luke Duke), Seann William Scott (Bo Duke), and the General Lee dominate the film. Jessica Simpson (Daisy Duke) hardly acts and mostly struts her stuff. Willy Nelson (Uncle Jesse) has the best and funniest lines. So if you are feeling a bit childish and/or red-neckish, this may be your summer fun movie with its hillbilly humor and dirt road racing.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “moonshine, rum running” stars out of 4.
