Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Alien sent his trainees out to review some movie previews.
Night Watch – Russian subtitled vampire film
Trainees chickened out and skipped this blood sucker.
Aquamarine – rescue a mermaid and get a wish
A cute little film if you still believe in mermaids.
Deep Sea 3D – ocean view at the IMAX
This is a wonderful film with sea life swimming right past your eyes so close that you want to reach out and touch them.
Night Watch – Russian subtitled vampire film
Trainees chickened out and skipped this blood sucker.
Aquamarine – rescue a mermaid and get a wish
A cute little film if you still believe in mermaids.
Deep Sea 3D – ocean view at the IMAX
This is a wonderful film with sea life swimming right past your eyes so close that you want to reach out and touch them.
16 Blocks
It’s “Law and Order” meets “The Gauntlet” meets “Speed”. Jack Mosley (Bruce Willis) is a burnt out NYPD cop who seems to know every liquor store and bar along the 16 blocks he must safely transport key witness Eddie Bunker (Mos Def). However, some cops don’t want Eddie to testify. It’s a classic odd couple/buddy/cop on the run with the clock ticking story. It's predictable, but it’s still fun to watch. Don’t think, just sit back and enjoy. Jack is no “die hard” John McClane. Eddie is a colorful, whiney voiced character who never seems to stop talking, but he’s lovable.
Alien gives it 3 “birthday cake” stars out of 4.
It’s “Law and Order” meets “The Gauntlet” meets “Speed”. Jack Mosley (Bruce Willis) is a burnt out NYPD cop who seems to know every liquor store and bar along the 16 blocks he must safely transport key witness Eddie Bunker (Mos Def). However, some cops don’t want Eddie to testify. It’s a classic odd couple/buddy/cop on the run with the clock ticking story. It's predictable, but it’s still fun to watch. Don’t think, just sit back and enjoy. Jack is no “die hard” John McClane. Eddie is a colorful, whiney voiced character who never seems to stop talking, but he’s lovable.
Alien gives it 3 “birthday cake” stars out of 4.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Munich
This is not a sneak preview review. This film has already released.
It’s “Mission Impossible” without the flash meets “Ten Little Indians”. If caught, the government will disavow any knowledge of your team.
Director Steven Spielberg explores the world of vengeance based on the events stemming from the 1972 Olympics tragedy in Munich. Terrorists linked to the massacre are hunted down one by one. Vengeance can be brutal to all involved and takes its toll. Spielberg tells a good story and this one lasts almost 3 hours.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “Black September” stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview review. This film has already released.
It’s “Mission Impossible” without the flash meets “Ten Little Indians”. If caught, the government will disavow any knowledge of your team.
Director Steven Spielberg explores the world of vengeance based on the events stemming from the 1972 Olympics tragedy in Munich. Terrorists linked to the massacre are hunted down one by one. Vengeance can be brutal to all involved and takes its toll. Spielberg tells a good story and this one lasts almost 3 hours.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “Black September” stars out of 4.
Good Night and Good Luck
This is not a sneak preview review. This film has already released.
This is a quiet film that speaks loudly. This is a black and white film that brightly paints a picture of the 1950s. Director George Clooney creates a mesmerizing look at Edward R. Murrow’s exposure of McCarthyism by fusing old news footage, vintage TV commercials, and a CBS news room backdrop.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “cigarette smoke filled room” stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview review. This film has already released.
This is a quiet film that speaks loudly. This is a black and white film that brightly paints a picture of the 1950s. Director George Clooney creates a mesmerizing look at Edward R. Murrow’s exposure of McCarthyism by fusing old news footage, vintage TV commercials, and a CBS news room backdrop.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “cigarette smoke filled room” stars out of 4.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Match Point
This is not a sneak preview review. This film has already released.
A club tennis pro elevates his status in life through his involvement with a rich, well-to-do family in London. Director Woody Allen’s use of operatic music forebodes the passions and agonies of this tale of forbidden love. Tension builds as the man must make a critical decision affecting his future.
Alien gives it 3 “that’s how the ball bounces” stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview review. This film has already released.
A club tennis pro elevates his status in life through his involvement with a rich, well-to-do family in London. Director Woody Allen’s use of operatic music forebodes the passions and agonies of this tale of forbidden love. Tension builds as the man must make a critical decision affecting his future.
Alien gives it 3 “that’s how the ball bounces” stars out of 4.
Transamerica
This is not a sneak preview review. This film has already released.
Felicity Huffman struggles to be a good mother on a cross-country road trip with her newly discovered 17-year-old son. Huffman gives an outstanding performance of a transsexual dealing with relationships while waiting for the final operation to become a complete woman.
Alien gives it 3 “life altering” stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview review. This film has already released.
Felicity Huffman struggles to be a good mother on a cross-country road trip with her newly discovered 17-year-old son. Huffman gives an outstanding performance of a transsexual dealing with relationships while waiting for the final operation to become a complete woman.
Alien gives it 3 “life altering” stars out of 4.
The Date Movie
This is not a sneak preview review. This film has already released.
Romantic comedies are spoofed in the style of the “Scary Movie” series. Most of the gags are stupid, some are gross, and a few are amusing.
Alien gives it 1 “bad date movie” star out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview review. This film has already released.
Romantic comedies are spoofed in the style of the “Scary Movie” series. Most of the gags are stupid, some are gross, and a few are amusing.
Alien gives it 1 “bad date movie” star out of 4.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Failure To Launch
It’ “Ten Ways To Lose A Man” meets “Hitch” meets “Meet the Parents” in this romantic comedy about single guys who still live at home with their parents. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey star as the couple in love. Terry Bradshaw and Kathy Bates are great as the parents. Zooey Deschanel steals the scenes as the quirky roommate. It’s cleverly funny featuring sailing, rock climbing, paint ball war, cyber café, and interaction with nature. Guys, this is a great date movie that you may actually enjoy.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “blast off” stars out of 4.
It’ “Ten Ways To Lose A Man” meets “Hitch” meets “Meet the Parents” in this romantic comedy about single guys who still live at home with their parents. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey star as the couple in love. Terry Bradshaw and Kathy Bates are great as the parents. Zooey Deschanel steals the scenes as the quirky roommate. It’s cleverly funny featuring sailing, rock climbing, paint ball war, cyber café, and interaction with nature. Guys, this is a great date movie that you may actually enjoy.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “blast off” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Running Scared
When is violence justified?
This mob movie about recovering a stolen gun used in a drug deal gone very bad starts off with a bang and takes the viewers on a wild ride full of twists and turns and remarkable coincidences. This is a dark and gritty film featuring plenty of low life scum: hookers, pimps, strippers, drug addicts, pedophiles, wise guys, dirty cops, and the Russian mafia. The violence is brutal with bullets flying and people dying, but it’s stylized killing. Of course this is rated “R” for the violence, language, nudity (including Paul Walker’s naked butt), and drug content. This action thriller will keep you on the edge of your seat anticipating the next bend around the corner.
Alien gives it 3 “bullets in the back” stars out of 4.
When is violence justified?
This mob movie about recovering a stolen gun used in a drug deal gone very bad starts off with a bang and takes the viewers on a wild ride full of twists and turns and remarkable coincidences. This is a dark and gritty film featuring plenty of low life scum: hookers, pimps, strippers, drug addicts, pedophiles, wise guys, dirty cops, and the Russian mafia. The violence is brutal with bullets flying and people dying, but it’s stylized killing. Of course this is rated “R” for the violence, language, nudity (including Paul Walker’s naked butt), and drug content. This action thriller will keep you on the edge of your seat anticipating the next bend around the corner.
Alien gives it 3 “bullets in the back” stars out of 4.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Wild Safari 3D
This is not a sneak preview review. This movie has already released.
The IMAX theater takes you on a South African safari to hunt the Big Five, the most dangerous and spectacular animals on the continent. The elephant, the Cape buffalo, the rhino, the leopard and the lion are seen close-up in three dimensions on the game reserves of Addo/Shamwari, Hluhluwe-Umfolozi, Madikwe, Kgalagadi and Kruger National Park. The 3D effect on the huge IMAX screen creates the illusion that you are really there in the wild. It feels like you are actually riding along in the Land Rover with the guide and the tracker traveling through the bush and over rough terrain. Notice the wrinkles and the eyelashes on the elephants, watch the leopard sleekly climb down a tree, and observe a giraffe awkwardly position his legs and bend to get a drink of water. Luckily this ride was over in 40 minutes because Alien was starting to get a touch of motion sickness (how is that for realism). The film content was just okay, but Alien was a sucker for the 3D effects.
Alien gives it 2 “big game hunt” stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview review. This movie has already released.
The IMAX theater takes you on a South African safari to hunt the Big Five, the most dangerous and spectacular animals on the continent. The elephant, the Cape buffalo, the rhino, the leopard and the lion are seen close-up in three dimensions on the game reserves of Addo/Shamwari, Hluhluwe-Umfolozi, Madikwe, Kgalagadi and Kruger National Park. The 3D effect on the huge IMAX screen creates the illusion that you are really there in the wild. It feels like you are actually riding along in the Land Rover with the guide and the tracker traveling through the bush and over rough terrain. Notice the wrinkles and the eyelashes on the elephants, watch the leopard sleekly climb down a tree, and observe a giraffe awkwardly position his legs and bend to get a drink of water. Luckily this ride was over in 40 minutes because Alien was starting to get a touch of motion sickness (how is that for realism). The film content was just okay, but Alien was a sucker for the 3D effects.
Alien gives it 2 “big game hunt” stars out of 4.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Nanny McPhee
This is not a sneak preview review. This film has already released.
It’s “Mary Poppins” meets “Dennis the Menace” times seven meets “The Parent Trap” meets “Pride and Prejudice” in this fairy tale starring and written by Emma Thompson. Colin Firth struggles to find a nanny for his extremely bratty kids and a wife for himself in order to keep his family together. The mysterious Nanny McPhee comes to the rescue with her magical ways and five important lessons. Parents will hate the horrible antics of these unruly kids, but children will love these terrible stunts wishing they could act them out. By the end, as in any fairy tale, valuable lessons are learned and all is right so they can live happily ever after.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “mischief maker” stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview review. This film has already released.
It’s “Mary Poppins” meets “Dennis the Menace” times seven meets “The Parent Trap” meets “Pride and Prejudice” in this fairy tale starring and written by Emma Thompson. Colin Firth struggles to find a nanny for his extremely bratty kids and a wife for himself in order to keep his family together. The mysterious Nanny McPhee comes to the rescue with her magical ways and five important lessons. Parents will hate the horrible antics of these unruly kids, but children will love these terrible stunts wishing they could act them out. By the end, as in any fairy tale, valuable lessons are learned and all is right so they can live happily ever after.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “mischief maker” stars out of 4.
Freedomland
It’s “Without a Trace” meets Rodney King in this psychological thriller. A distraught single white mother tells a story about her carjacking and missing 4 year old son while driving lost near a black housing project, setting off a police investigation and racial tensions. Samuel L. Jackson and Julianne Moore both give outstanding performances in a dark, gritty, and powerful film that searches for truths hidden amongst the stirred up emotions of its characters.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “not all is black and white” stars out of 4.
It’s “Without a Trace” meets Rodney King in this psychological thriller. A distraught single white mother tells a story about her carjacking and missing 4 year old son while driving lost near a black housing project, setting off a police investigation and racial tensions. Samuel L. Jackson and Julianne Moore both give outstanding performances in a dark, gritty, and powerful film that searches for truths hidden amongst the stirred up emotions of its characters.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “not all is black and white” stars out of 4.
Friday, February 10, 2006
The Pink Panther
The famous Inspector Clouseau is back in “The Pink Panther”, but without the late great Peter Sellers, who was brilliant and original. Sellers is irreplaceable, but Steve Martin does an admirable job in his own style (Clouseau Martinized). This remake with a James Bond-like cameo bit is faithful to the original movie series. Martin’s antics run from silly funny to hilarious.
Alien gives it 3 “stumbling bumbling crime solving” stars out of 4.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Eight Below
It’s “Snow Dogs” meets “March of the Penguins” in Disney’s latest adventure. Paul Walker is back from “Into the Blue” to find himself into the white of Antarctica. Scientists seeking meteorites run into trouble and must flee before the big storm hits. Their sudden evacuation forces them to leave behind their team of eight sled dogs. Can these dogs survive 6 months of winter on their own? The dogs and the arctic scenery are amazing.
Alien gives it 2 “frozen tundra” stars out of 4.
It’s “Snow Dogs” meets “March of the Penguins” in Disney’s latest adventure. Paul Walker is back from “Into the Blue” to find himself into the white of Antarctica. Scientists seeking meteorites run into trouble and must flee before the big storm hits. Their sudden evacuation forces them to leave behind their team of eight sled dogs. Can these dogs survive 6 months of winter on their own? The dogs and the arctic scenery are amazing.
Alien gives it 2 “frozen tundra” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Imagine Me & You
Alien was up against a "Firewall" so he sent some junior critics to check out this sneak preview.
On their wedding day at the church, a happy young couple are about to embark on life together when the bride-to-be catches the eye of an unexpected guest. The following is the report filed by my trainee:
"ImagineMe & You" takes place in current day London England. Rachel (Piper Parabo) and Heck (Mathew Goode) have just recently gotten married and seem very much in love. Rachel and the florist Luce( Lena Headey) become very good friends during the wedding process and the friendship builds after the wedding. During a visit to Rachel’s home Luce admits to Heck that she is gay. Cooper (Darren Boyd) is Heck’s best friend and is determined to get Luce in the bed whether she is gay or not. Luce and Rachel seem to grow closer as friends but the pursuit of friendship or more seems more on Rachel’s end, who is by the way happily married. Heck is not in any way phased by the friendship. Overall the acting was about average and the story was easy to follow but some of the scenes seemed forced and not how they might naturally happen. We all know life isn’t fair but this movie doesn’t leave you with a good feeling in the end. I wasn’t happy for any of the main characters at the end of this movie. This movie speaks to your moral compass and is it OK to destroy something blessed by God to satisfy a feeling even if this feeling is not blessed by God? Not to sound holier than thou but depending on where your moral compass is will determine how you will feel when you leave this movie. If we look at something wrong long enough it starts to looks normal.
My trainee gives it 2 stars out of 4.
Alien was up against a "Firewall" so he sent some junior critics to check out this sneak preview.
On their wedding day at the church, a happy young couple are about to embark on life together when the bride-to-be catches the eye of an unexpected guest. The following is the report filed by my trainee:
"ImagineMe & You" takes place in current day London England. Rachel (Piper Parabo) and Heck (Mathew Goode) have just recently gotten married and seem very much in love. Rachel and the florist Luce( Lena Headey) become very good friends during the wedding process and the friendship builds after the wedding. During a visit to Rachel’s home Luce admits to Heck that she is gay. Cooper (Darren Boyd) is Heck’s best friend and is determined to get Luce in the bed whether she is gay or not. Luce and Rachel seem to grow closer as friends but the pursuit of friendship or more seems more on Rachel’s end, who is by the way happily married. Heck is not in any way phased by the friendship. Overall the acting was about average and the story was easy to follow but some of the scenes seemed forced and not how they might naturally happen. We all know life isn’t fair but this movie doesn’t leave you with a good feeling in the end. I wasn’t happy for any of the main characters at the end of this movie. This movie speaks to your moral compass and is it OK to destroy something blessed by God to satisfy a feeling even if this feeling is not blessed by God? Not to sound holier than thou but depending on where your moral compass is will determine how you will feel when you leave this movie. If we look at something wrong long enough it starts to looks normal.
My trainee gives it 2 stars out of 4.
Firewall
In rainy Seattle, Harrison Ford is a bank security expert and just an ordinary guy, not super CIA agent Jack Ryan, not adventure seeking archeologist Indiana Jones, nor the U.S. President defending Air Force One. A ruthless criminal mastermind (Paul Bettany) kidnaps Ford’s family and coerces cooperation in a scheme to steal 100 million dollars. It is predictable, but still is a pretty good “cat and mouse” thriller as Ford desperately fights back with the help of “24”‘s “Commando Chloe”.
Alien gives it 3 “gizmo/gadgets” stars out of 4.
In rainy Seattle, Harrison Ford is a bank security expert and just an ordinary guy, not super CIA agent Jack Ryan, not adventure seeking archeologist Indiana Jones, nor the U.S. President defending Air Force One. A ruthless criminal mastermind (Paul Bettany) kidnaps Ford’s family and coerces cooperation in a scheme to steal 100 million dollars. It is predictable, but still is a pretty good “cat and mouse” thriller as Ford desperately fights back with the help of “24”‘s “Commando Chloe”.
Alien gives it 3 “gizmo/gadgets” stars out of 4.
Friday, February 03, 2006
When a Stranger Calls
This is supposed to be a remake of a 1979 film. After this viewing, Alien says, why did they bother? Save your time and money by staying away.
A high school student takes a new babysitting job in a fancy house in a remote location on a dark and stormy night. When she gets a series of mysterious phone calls, she starts to panic.
For a less than 90 minute movie, you could sleep for the first hour and 10 minutes and not miss any real action. The 8 minutes of heroine/killer confrontation is weak. The ending is lame. It is not scary, just dumb.
Alien gives is zero “wrong number” stars out of 4.
This is supposed to be a remake of a 1979 film. After this viewing, Alien says, why did they bother? Save your time and money by staying away.
A high school student takes a new babysitting job in a fancy house in a remote location on a dark and stormy night. When she gets a series of mysterious phone calls, she starts to panic.
For a less than 90 minute movie, you could sleep for the first hour and 10 minutes and not miss any real action. The 8 minutes of heroine/killer confrontation is weak. The ending is lame. It is not scary, just dumb.
Alien gives is zero “wrong number” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
The World’s Fastest Indian
This is a terrific true story film about a retired man who never gives up his dream. New Zealander Burt Munro has been tinkering with his classic Indian motorcycle for over 25 years with the dream of going to the Bonneville Salt Flats and breaking the land speed record. Anthony Hopkins is outstanding as the charming old codger on an amazing journey taken on a shoestring budget. You’ll love his Burtisms and Kiwi spirit. You’ll be rooting for Burt along with all of the fascinating characters he meets on his great adventure. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll admire the man. He is an inspiration.
Alien gives it 4 “need for speed” stars out of 4.
This is a terrific true story film about a retired man who never gives up his dream. New Zealander Burt Munro has been tinkering with his classic Indian motorcycle for over 25 years with the dream of going to the Bonneville Salt Flats and breaking the land speed record. Anthony Hopkins is outstanding as the charming old codger on an amazing journey taken on a shoestring budget. You’ll love his Burtisms and Kiwi spirit. You’ll be rooting for Burt along with all of the fascinating characters he meets on his great adventure. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll admire the man. He is an inspiration.
Alien gives it 4 “need for speed” stars out of 4.
