Friday, May 30, 2008
You Don’t Mess With the Zohan
Adam Sandler is Zohan, an Israeli counter-terrorist who fakes his death so he can pursue his dream of being a hair stylist. The film portrays him as an exaggerated macho stallion as he coifs and boffs his gray-haired clients, but he is more of a one trick pony with his repetitive crotch dancing and sexual simulations jokes. Much of his others jokes are ethnic and homosexually oriented. If you like Sandler’s silly juvenile humor, you may enjoy this movie. The more interesting part of this movie is seeing who turns up in a cameo role.
Alien gives it 2 “hummus” stars out of 4.
Adam Sandler is Zohan, an Israeli counter-terrorist who fakes his death so he can pursue his dream of being a hair stylist. The film portrays him as an exaggerated macho stallion as he coifs and boffs his gray-haired clients, but he is more of a one trick pony with his repetitive crotch dancing and sexual simulations jokes. Much of his others jokes are ethnic and homosexually oriented. If you like Sandler’s silly juvenile humor, you may enjoy this movie. The more interesting part of this movie is seeing who turns up in a cameo role.
Alien gives it 2 “hummus” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Kung Fu Panda
DreamWorks latest animated endeavor tells the mystical and kung phooey tale of a panda named Po, son of a noodle maker, who dreams of becoming a kung fu warrior. In this classic story about believing in yourself to overcome great odds, Po along with his mentor and the furious five warriors must defend Peaceful Valley from the powerful and evil Tai Lung. This film is a delicious slice of cartoon violence for hyperactive kids. The movie stages those familiar martial arts scenes that you want to see, but with a hysterical twist to them. The warrior training scenes are hilarious. The animation of Jack Black’s panda character is absolutely amazing. You can see Black’s expressions in Po. If you love pandas, kung fu, cartoons, and Jack Black, you’ll love this delightful treat.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “secret of the dragon scroll” stars out of 4.
DreamWorks latest animated endeavor tells the mystical and kung phooey tale of a panda named Po, son of a noodle maker, who dreams of becoming a kung fu warrior. In this classic story about believing in yourself to overcome great odds, Po along with his mentor and the furious five warriors must defend Peaceful Valley from the powerful and evil Tai Lung. This film is a delicious slice of cartoon violence for hyperactive kids. The movie stages those familiar martial arts scenes that you want to see, but with a hysterical twist to them. The warrior training scenes are hilarious. The animation of Jack Black’s panda character is absolutely amazing. You can see Black’s expressions in Po. If you love pandas, kung fu, cartoons, and Jack Black, you’ll love this delightful treat.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “secret of the dragon scroll” stars out of 4.
Sex & the City
First off, Alien never watched the TV series when it was on HBO and only has seen enough bits and pieces to know who Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha are. But no matter, the movie opens with a quickie run down explaining who’s who in a flash, dash way to bring anyone up to speed. It is the ultimate chick flick full of girl talk about labels, love, and loyalty as well as food, fashion, and friendship. It is a glitzy romance novel on the big screen so you can expect some sex talk, some sex acts, nudity, hunky men, wedding stuff, baby stuff, designer clothes and accessories, a closet to die for, some emotional drama, and a few surprises. Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, and Kim Cattrall have created such popular and charming characters that their fans want to continue to follow their exploits. Louise from St. Louis (Jennifer Hudson) was a nice addition to the cast. It’s a fun movie, not to be taken seriously. So all of you BFFs and SatC fans, take a 2 ½ hour reality break and dream of being one of those New York City girls. Girls just want to have fun.
Alien gives it 3 “Manolo Blahnik” stars out of 4.
First off, Alien never watched the TV series when it was on HBO and only has seen enough bits and pieces to know who Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha are. But no matter, the movie opens with a quickie run down explaining who’s who in a flash, dash way to bring anyone up to speed. It is the ultimate chick flick full of girl talk about labels, love, and loyalty as well as food, fashion, and friendship. It is a glitzy romance novel on the big screen so you can expect some sex talk, some sex acts, nudity, hunky men, wedding stuff, baby stuff, designer clothes and accessories, a closet to die for, some emotional drama, and a few surprises. Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, and Kim Cattrall have created such popular and charming characters that their fans want to continue to follow their exploits. Louise from St. Louis (Jennifer Hudson) was a nice addition to the cast. It’s a fun movie, not to be taken seriously. So all of you BFFs and SatC fans, take a 2 ½ hour reality break and dream of being one of those New York City girls. Girls just want to have fun.
Alien gives it 3 “Manolo Blahnik” stars out of 4.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
It’s Indiana Jones meets the X Files as Spielberg adds a little ET and Lucas adds a touch of American Graffiti to another rousing, rip roaring, cliff hanging adventure. It’s 1957 for those baby boomers out there; Indy and Marion (Harrison Ford & Karen Allen) have aged gracefully, but they are as feisty as ever. The Nazis are gone, but the Soviets led by Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) are in the hunt for the latest legendary treasure, a crystal skull. Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf) casts the shadow of Marlon Brando from “The Wild One” (there’s lots of speculation about Mutt’s identity). This film is lots of fun because of Spielberg’s creative film making skills and Lucas’ ingenious script. The characters from the original movie may have lost a step, but the story tellers go an extra mile to delight the audience. You don’t have to see all or any of the previous Indy films to enjoy this one, but you won’t get that extra chuckle inside when you see and hear all of the subtle references and tributes. It is pure escapism to the max. It’s everything you’d expect from an Indy film and more. This one honors teachers and knowledge; so get an education.
Alien gives it 4 “fedora & bull whip” stars out of 4.
It’s Indiana Jones meets the X Files as Spielberg adds a little ET and Lucas adds a touch of American Graffiti to another rousing, rip roaring, cliff hanging adventure. It’s 1957 for those baby boomers out there; Indy and Marion (Harrison Ford & Karen Allen) have aged gracefully, but they are as feisty as ever. The Nazis are gone, but the Soviets led by Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) are in the hunt for the latest legendary treasure, a crystal skull. Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf) casts the shadow of Marlon Brando from “The Wild One” (there’s lots of speculation about Mutt’s identity). This film is lots of fun because of Spielberg’s creative film making skills and Lucas’ ingenious script. The characters from the original movie may have lost a step, but the story tellers go an extra mile to delight the audience. You don’t have to see all or any of the previous Indy films to enjoy this one, but you won’t get that extra chuckle inside when you see and hear all of the subtle references and tributes. It is pure escapism to the max. It’s everything you’d expect from an Indy film and more. This one honors teachers and knowledge; so get an education.
Alien gives it 4 “fedora & bull whip” stars out of 4.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
A year has past for the Pevensie siblings when they are called back to Narnia by Prince Caspian. However, they discover a lot has changed their absence. Even if you haven’t seen the first film, you’ll still enjoy this fabulous fairy tale fantasy where kids can be heroes and compete with the grownups in a beautiful, magical world filled with strange creatures and exciting adventures. It has got Minotaurs, Centaurs, and talking animals, but Alien’s favorites are the 3 mouseketeers (a Disney inside joke). There’s exciting swordplay, powerful catapults, and storming the castle. The special effects are fantastic. The story does takes awhile to get going; when it hits its stride, hang on for quite thrill ride that will veer off in pleasantly surprising directions. The film runs about 2 hours and 20 minutes, but you’ll hardly notice it. This is a terrific kids film that will appeal to the kid in all of us. This film is better than the first because the Pevensies have grown up into their roles and carry their weight.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “For Narnia, For Aslan” stars out of 4.
A year has past for the Pevensie siblings when they are called back to Narnia by Prince Caspian. However, they discover a lot has changed their absence. Even if you haven’t seen the first film, you’ll still enjoy this fabulous fairy tale fantasy where kids can be heroes and compete with the grownups in a beautiful, magical world filled with strange creatures and exciting adventures. It has got Minotaurs, Centaurs, and talking animals, but Alien’s favorites are the 3 mouseketeers (a Disney inside joke). There’s exciting swordplay, powerful catapults, and storming the castle. The special effects are fantastic. The story does takes awhile to get going; when it hits its stride, hang on for quite thrill ride that will veer off in pleasantly surprising directions. The film runs about 2 hours and 20 minutes, but you’ll hardly notice it. This is a terrific kids film that will appeal to the kid in all of us. This film is better than the first because the Pevensies have grown up into their roles and carry their weight.
Alien gives it 3 ½ “For Narnia, For Aslan” stars out of 4.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
What Happens in Vegas
This romantic comedy uses 2 very predictable premises: 2 strangers end up married after a night of drunkenness and the next morning they fight over who won the millions of dollars at the casino. However, when the movie is powered by 2 wild party animals like Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz, watch out a hysterical battle of the sexes. If you are a fan of either, you won’t be disappointed. Of course, you’ll get the shirtless Kutcher and the bra and panty clad Diaz, staples of their movies. The film had 2 surprises for Alien: how little actually happens in Sin City and how much better the movie was than I had expected. Two completely different people find themselves after having to live with each other. It’s predictable, but it’s also a lot of fun. Stay seated through the credits for some parting shots.
Alien gives it 3 “million dollar jackpot” stars out of 4.
This romantic comedy uses 2 very predictable premises: 2 strangers end up married after a night of drunkenness and the next morning they fight over who won the millions of dollars at the casino. However, when the movie is powered by 2 wild party animals like Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz, watch out a hysterical battle of the sexes. If you are a fan of either, you won’t be disappointed. Of course, you’ll get the shirtless Kutcher and the bra and panty clad Diaz, staples of their movies. The film had 2 surprises for Alien: how little actually happens in Sin City and how much better the movie was than I had expected. Two completely different people find themselves after having to live with each other. It’s predictable, but it’s also a lot of fun. Stay seated through the credits for some parting shots.
Alien gives it 3 “million dollar jackpot” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Speed Racer
It’s Hot Wheels on speed as “Cars” meets “Death Race 2000”. The Wachowski brothers overhaul and retune this famous 60s Japanese racing anime to 2008 high octane performance specs. The Mach 5 and all of your favorite Speed Racer characters are back and ready to compete in this death defying, smash and crash CAR-toony auto race. The race scenes are dazzling with vivid eye popping colors and high energy action. When the cars are running, it’s a wild and crazy thrill ride, but when they are not, small children may get rather bored until Spritle and Chim Chim show up. Can the small mom and pop shop beat the colossal corrupt corporation or are the races fixed? For a “PG” family film with lots of kid appeal, Alien was disappointed at the flash of an offensive hand gesture by an unlikely character. Some may enjoy this film as a nostalgic trip down memory lane, but others may feel trapped in the back seat by child proof locks screaming "are we there yet". Alien wonders what this one will look like in 3D when it plays at the IMAX.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “Casa Costa Classic” stars out of 4.
It’s Hot Wheels on speed as “Cars” meets “Death Race 2000”. The Wachowski brothers overhaul and retune this famous 60s Japanese racing anime to 2008 high octane performance specs. The Mach 5 and all of your favorite Speed Racer characters are back and ready to compete in this death defying, smash and crash CAR-toony auto race. The race scenes are dazzling with vivid eye popping colors and high energy action. When the cars are running, it’s a wild and crazy thrill ride, but when they are not, small children may get rather bored until Spritle and Chim Chim show up. Can the small mom and pop shop beat the colossal corrupt corporation or are the races fixed? For a “PG” family film with lots of kid appeal, Alien was disappointed at the flash of an offensive hand gesture by an unlikely character. Some may enjoy this film as a nostalgic trip down memory lane, but others may feel trapped in the back seat by child proof locks screaming "are we there yet". Alien wonders what this one will look like in 3D when it plays at the IMAX.
Alien gives it 2 ½ “Casa Costa Classic” stars out of 4.
Friday, May 02, 2008
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
While Alien was watching McDreamy steal a bride, my critic-in-training, Jewels, turned in this report:
In this second episode of the seven book series we once again find the Pevensie children Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy magically transported back from World War II England to the beautiful and mysterious Narnia. Summoned by Prince Caspian who is being hunted by his evil uncle Miraz the foursome find themselves in a Narnia that is more than 1,000 years older than when they left it only one year ago. During that time the Telmarines have tried to eradicate the Narnians, the talking creatures have become a fairytale told to children, the trees no longer dance, the few Narnians that are left live in hiding in the forest, and worst yet the almighty lion Aslan has not been seen in a thousand years since the Kings and Queens of Narnia left. If you’re a fan of C.S. Lewis you will see his underlying message of hope and his warning to not trust solely in yourself but to seek a higher power. In this case the wisdom of Aslan. With delightful characters like the chivalrous “don’t call me cute” mouse, Reepicheep, and the guarded sarcastic “I am an adult” Black Dwarf, Nikabrik, you will be delighted to journey on this new adventure with the four siblings and Caspian. Some of the battle scenes were a tad violent for a children’s movie however they aren’t bloody or gory. I conclude with my two favorite quotes from the movie, “Everything you know is about to change forever” and “Nothing happens the same way twice”.
Jewels gives it 4 "Nothing happens the same way twice" stars out of 4.
While Alien was watching McDreamy steal a bride, my critic-in-training, Jewels, turned in this report:
In this second episode of the seven book series we once again find the Pevensie children Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy magically transported back from World War II England to the beautiful and mysterious Narnia. Summoned by Prince Caspian who is being hunted by his evil uncle Miraz the foursome find themselves in a Narnia that is more than 1,000 years older than when they left it only one year ago. During that time the Telmarines have tried to eradicate the Narnians, the talking creatures have become a fairytale told to children, the trees no longer dance, the few Narnians that are left live in hiding in the forest, and worst yet the almighty lion Aslan has not been seen in a thousand years since the Kings and Queens of Narnia left. If you’re a fan of C.S. Lewis you will see his underlying message of hope and his warning to not trust solely in yourself but to seek a higher power. In this case the wisdom of Aslan. With delightful characters like the chivalrous “don’t call me cute” mouse, Reepicheep, and the guarded sarcastic “I am an adult” Black Dwarf, Nikabrik, you will be delighted to journey on this new adventure with the four siblings and Caspian. Some of the battle scenes were a tad violent for a children’s movie however they aren’t bloody or gory. I conclude with my two favorite quotes from the movie, “Everything you know is about to change forever” and “Nothing happens the same way twice”.
Jewels gives it 4 "Nothing happens the same way twice" stars out of 4.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Made of Honor
McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) stars in this charming version of “My Best Friend’s Wedding” with a gender twist. Tom (Dempsey) is a one-night-stand kind of guy with lots of “dating” rules. When his best friend, Hannah (Michelle Monaghan), gets a job in Scotland, he realizes how much he misses her, but it may be too late because she becomes engaged and he ends up being her maid of honor. Dempsey and Monaghan are adorable and you can’t help but want to see them get together. This is a great date movie. The story isn’t original, but if you are a romantic, you’ll love it. It is funnier than most of your romantic comedies. It’s a chick flick with enough guy stuff to keep the men amused. Scotland is a beautiful country.
Alien gives it 3 “steal the bride” stars out of 4.
McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) stars in this charming version of “My Best Friend’s Wedding” with a gender twist. Tom (Dempsey) is a one-night-stand kind of guy with lots of “dating” rules. When his best friend, Hannah (Michelle Monaghan), gets a job in Scotland, he realizes how much he misses her, but it may be too late because she becomes engaged and he ends up being her maid of honor. Dempsey and Monaghan are adorable and you can’t help but want to see them get together. This is a great date movie. The story isn’t original, but if you are a romantic, you’ll love it. It is funnier than most of your romantic comedies. It’s a chick flick with enough guy stuff to keep the men amused. Scotland is a beautiful country.
Alien gives it 3 “steal the bride” stars out of 4.
