Monday, August 31, 2009
Extract
Marital problems, an annoying neighbor, a con man drifter, and a testicular industrial incident cause a flavoring factory owner (Justin Bateman) many headaches in this funny blue collar comedy. A terrific cast (including Kristen Wiig, Ben Affleck, J.K. Simmons, and Mila Kunis) will keep the audience in stitches. Many will love this type of humor, but it is just not Alien’s flavor of choice. It is like Alien not understanding how vanilla ice cream could be so popular. Sit tight at the beginning of the credits for one last gag. This film is rated 'R' for sexual references and drug use.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "ballsy low brow humor" stars out of 4.
Marital problems, an annoying neighbor, a con man drifter, and a testicular industrial incident cause a flavoring factory owner (Justin Bateman) many headaches in this funny blue collar comedy. A terrific cast (including Kristen Wiig, Ben Affleck, J.K. Simmons, and Mila Kunis) will keep the audience in stitches. Many will love this type of humor, but it is just not Alien’s flavor of choice. It is like Alien not understanding how vanilla ice cream could be so popular. Sit tight at the beginning of the credits for one last gag. This film is rated 'R' for sexual references and drug use.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "ballsy low brow humor" stars out of 4.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Final Destination 3D
While Alien was on his psychedelic trip back to the summer of 1969, new trainee critic KV files the following report:
It's great if you enjoy senseless gore and violence and stuff. In terms of storyline, it's basic simple stuff. I enjoyed it for what it is, not based on watching previous versions, not based on trailers, but simply for taking it in as what it is. Still, the premise of the story is getting old and repetitive. Time for Hollywood to let this series died and come up with new ideas. At least the SAW series give you a little brain twister seeing how simple the puzzles should be solve. Between the two, I'd pick SAW hands-down for its ingeniously designed puzzles and great follow-up storyline that ties directly into past movies.
While Alien was on his psychedelic trip back to the summer of 1969, new trainee critic KV files the following report:
It's great if you enjoy senseless gore and violence and stuff. In terms of storyline, it's basic simple stuff. I enjoyed it for what it is, not based on watching previous versions, not based on trailers, but simply for taking it in as what it is. Still, the premise of the story is getting old and repetitive. Time for Hollywood to let this series died and come up with new ideas. At least the SAW series give you a little brain twister seeing how simple the puzzles should be solve. Between the two, I'd pick SAW hands-down for its ingeniously designed puzzles and great follow-up storyline that ties directly into past movies.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Taking Woodstock
Director Ang Lee transports audiences back 40 years to relive those hippie days of peace, love, and rock 'n' roll. See how local boy Elliot brings a music and arts festival known as Woodstock to White Lake, New York. You’ll get to see the behind the scenes happenings from start to finish of this 3 days of peace and music. You’ll meet some colorful people including the owners of the dilapidated El Monaco Motel, a Viet Nam vet, and a tranny ex-marine. Ang Lee totally captures this era of flower children and will bring back vivid memories of those times. While Alien found this film extremely fascinating to watch, I can’t say that I was thoroughly entertained. Most surprising was the nonexistence of any re-creation of actual concert scenes or performers. Don’t be naïve to think that an 'R' rated film about Woodstock would not include full frontal nudity, drug use, and frequent F-bomb explosions.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "those damn naked hippies" stars out of 4.
Director Ang Lee transports audiences back 40 years to relive those hippie days of peace, love, and rock 'n' roll. See how local boy Elliot brings a music and arts festival known as Woodstock to White Lake, New York. You’ll get to see the behind the scenes happenings from start to finish of this 3 days of peace and music. You’ll meet some colorful people including the owners of the dilapidated El Monaco Motel, a Viet Nam vet, and a tranny ex-marine. Ang Lee totally captures this era of flower children and will bring back vivid memories of those times. While Alien found this film extremely fascinating to watch, I can’t say that I was thoroughly entertained. Most surprising was the nonexistence of any re-creation of actual concert scenes or performers. Don’t be naïve to think that an 'R' rated film about Woodstock would not include full frontal nudity, drug use, and frequent F-bomb explosions.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "those damn naked hippies" stars out of 4.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Shorts
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
A wishing rock creates all kinds of excitement and surprises in Robert Rodriguez’s latest movie adventure. It is a kid’s delight that will tickle your imagination. Amongst the craziness, you’ll get a boogie monster, Siamese twins, an army of crocs, a giant dung beetle, and a fleet of flying saucers. 'Abuse of power has its consequences' is the moral of the story. It’s a silly and wacky family film that will let adults experience being a kid again.
Alien gives it 3 "Black Box Inc." stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
A wishing rock creates all kinds of excitement and surprises in Robert Rodriguez’s latest movie adventure. It is a kid’s delight that will tickle your imagination. Amongst the craziness, you’ll get a boogie monster, Siamese twins, an army of crocs, a giant dung beetle, and a fleet of flying saucers. 'Abuse of power has its consequences' is the moral of the story. It’s a silly and wacky family film that will let adults experience being a kid again.
Alien gives it 3 "Black Box Inc." stars out of 4.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The Hurt Locker
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
Move over G.I. Joe and make room for some real soldiers. Follow an army bomb disposal unit in 2004 Bagdad as they deal with disarming booby traps and ducking sniper fire. It’s an intense and realistic drama when "Wildman" Will arrives as the replacement bomb expert. This gritty film explores the emotional reactions of these highly overstressed individuals. This is a great film honoring our overseas troops who have to deal with extremely difficult situations, but it is a bit depressing to view. The price of freedom does not come cheap.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "having a blast in Bagdad" stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
Move over G.I. Joe and make room for some real soldiers. Follow an army bomb disposal unit in 2004 Bagdad as they deal with disarming booby traps and ducking sniper fire. It’s an intense and realistic drama when "Wildman" Will arrives as the replacement bomb expert. This gritty film explores the emotional reactions of these highly overstressed individuals. This is a great film honoring our overseas troops who have to deal with extremely difficult situations, but it is a bit depressing to view. The price of freedom does not come cheap.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "having a blast in Bagdad" stars out of 4.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
The name is Joe... G.I. Joe, when Hasbro unleashes its live action version of their action figure/cartoon show to the big screen. Fans of high tech CGI special effects won't be disappointed with the stunning Star Wars/007 type scenes. However, the script with all of those cheesy lines feels lifted right out of the cartoon series. The plot is so transparent that a nine year old could figure it out. G.I. Joe fans can relive their childhood days of playing army.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "MARS nanotechnology" stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
The name is Joe... G.I. Joe, when Hasbro unleashes its live action version of their action figure/cartoon show to the big screen. Fans of high tech CGI special effects won't be disappointed with the stunning Star Wars/007 type scenes. However, the script with all of those cheesy lines feels lifted right out of the cartoon series. The plot is so transparent that a nine year old could figure it out. G.I. Joe fans can relive their childhood days of playing army.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "MARS nanotechnology" stars out of 4.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
X-Games 3D: The Movie
Disney and ESPN bring you exhilarating X-Games excitement as it should be... in exquisite 3D. From motocross to rally cars to snowboards to skateboards, see all of the death defying thrills and spills. Watch daring young men push themselves beyond their limits. The stunts are incredible and seemingly unbelievable. These graceful athletes make their complex maneuvers look so simple as they fly through the air and stick their landings. This film will only be in the theaters for a week.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "battle for big air" stars out of 4.
Disney and ESPN bring you exhilarating X-Games excitement as it should be... in exquisite 3D. From motocross to rally cars to snowboards to skateboards, see all of the death defying thrills and spills. Watch daring young men push themselves beyond their limits. The stunts are incredible and seemingly unbelievable. These graceful athletes make their complex maneuvers look so simple as they fly through the air and stick their landings. This film will only be in the theaters for a week.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "battle for big air" stars out of 4.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Post Grad
Rory from "Gilmore Girls" and Matt from "Friday Night Lights" face the same fears as today's real world college graduates... what we do now? Ryden Malby (Alexis Bledel) is the perfect daughter and student who has her whole life planned out to precise details, but her scheduled journey becomes derailed when she can't find a job and must move back home. Does that sound familiar, Class of 2009? A fine cast of characters make up Ryden's dysfunctional family including Michael Keaton, Jane Lynch, and Carol Burnett. It's a cute film, but predictable. Alien liked the talented cast, but didn’t feel there was real chemistry between the leads. There are some funny bits tucked away here and there throughout the movie. It's a lighted hearted look at a very serious problem for today's graduates.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "Eskimo Pie" stars out of 4.
Rory from "Gilmore Girls" and Matt from "Friday Night Lights" face the same fears as today's real world college graduates... what we do now? Ryden Malby (Alexis Bledel) is the perfect daughter and student who has her whole life planned out to precise details, but her scheduled journey becomes derailed when she can't find a job and must move back home. Does that sound familiar, Class of 2009? A fine cast of characters make up Ryden's dysfunctional family including Michael Keaton, Jane Lynch, and Carol Burnett. It's a cute film, but predictable. Alien liked the talented cast, but didn’t feel there was real chemistry between the leads. There are some funny bits tucked away here and there throughout the movie. It's a lighted hearted look at a very serious problem for today's graduates.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "Eskimo Pie" stars out of 4.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
District 9
It's 2009's version of the original "The Day the Earth Stood Still" where "Slumdog AlienNation" meets "The Fly" meets "Aliens". Almost thirty years ago, a mysterious alien ship arrives and hovers over South Africa. The ship's inhabitants are rescued and become quarantined in District 9 until it is time to move them to another location and that's when all hell breaks out. The story is told documentary style and it is quite an impressive one. It begins a bit slow, but the action picks up momentum when the alien technology and weaponry are revealed and start to light up the screen. Once again, this film features man at his worst. The filmmakers have created a fascinating ghetto and foreign lifestyle revolving around this alien culture. You’ll either love or hate this unique creative film effort.
Alien gives it 3 "keep your claws off of me, you dirty prawn" stars out of 4.
It's 2009's version of the original "The Day the Earth Stood Still" where "Slumdog AlienNation" meets "The Fly" meets "Aliens". Almost thirty years ago, a mysterious alien ship arrives and hovers over South Africa. The ship's inhabitants are rescued and become quarantined in District 9 until it is time to move them to another location and that's when all hell breaks out. The story is told documentary style and it is quite an impressive one. It begins a bit slow, but the action picks up momentum when the alien technology and weaponry are revealed and start to light up the screen. Once again, this film features man at his worst. The filmmakers have created a fascinating ghetto and foreign lifestyle revolving around this alien culture. You’ll either love or hate this unique creative film effort.
Alien gives it 3 "keep your claws off of me, you dirty prawn" stars out of 4.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Adam
It’s "Rainman" meets "Love Story" in a quirky offbeat romantic comedy involving a lovable individual afflicted with Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autisms. Adam (Hugh Dancy) is highly intelligent, but socially inept because of his condition. He meets Beth (Rose Byrne) when she moves into his building and they become attracted to each other. It’s a bittersweet story that will touch your heart. You will be rooting for the underdog as he struggles to fit into the real world. Alien found it informative, entertaining, charming, tender, emotional, and funny.
Alien gives it 3 "Central Park creatures" stars out of 4.
It’s "Rainman" meets "Love Story" in a quirky offbeat romantic comedy involving a lovable individual afflicted with Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autisms. Adam (Hugh Dancy) is highly intelligent, but socially inept because of his condition. He meets Beth (Rose Byrne) when she moves into his building and they become attracted to each other. It’s a bittersweet story that will touch your heart. You will be rooting for the underdog as he struggles to fit into the real world. Alien found it informative, entertaining, charming, tender, emotional, and funny.
Alien gives it 3 "Central Park creatures" stars out of 4.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Time Traveler’s Wife
This movie is a love story with a science fiction twist. Two lovers (Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams) are continually separated from each other, not by distance, but by time. See the pros and cons of time travel and how it affects the lives of the people involved. Should you reveal secrets from the future? Can you change history? Can you meet yourself? What can you find in the past and in the future? Not only do you experience the complexity of time travel, but humor that it can cause too. If you enjoy a good love story as well as a fascination for the time travel concept, then this is a movie you shouldn't miss.
Alien gives it 3 "genetic anomaly" stars out of 4.
This movie is a love story with a science fiction twist. Two lovers (Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams) are continually separated from each other, not by distance, but by time. See the pros and cons of time travel and how it affects the lives of the people involved. Should you reveal secrets from the future? Can you change history? Can you meet yourself? What can you find in the past and in the future? Not only do you experience the complexity of time travel, but humor that it can cause too. If you enjoy a good love story as well as a fascination for the time travel concept, then this is a movie you shouldn't miss.
Alien gives it 3 "genetic anomaly" stars out of 4.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Ponyo
It’s "Pinocchio" meets "Little Mermaid" meets "The Perfect Storm" in director Hayao Miyazaki’s whimsical magical Japanese anime about boy finds fish, boy loses fish, then boy finds girl. This film actually released in 2008, but Disney had it redubbed in English and redistributed in 2009. A curious cuttlefish-like creature leaves her parents and home under the sea for a new world adventure with a 5 year old boy who lives by the sea. The boy names his new found friend Ponyo. This cute and charming movie is made for the younger children. Its simple animation style may seem rather crude and yesteryear when compared to the Pixar and DreamWorks spectaculars, but it’s still a delightful fantasy story.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "magical transformation" stars out of 4.
It’s "Pinocchio" meets "Little Mermaid" meets "The Perfect Storm" in director Hayao Miyazaki’s whimsical magical Japanese anime about boy finds fish, boy loses fish, then boy finds girl. This film actually released in 2008, but Disney had it redubbed in English and redistributed in 2009. A curious cuttlefish-like creature leaves her parents and home under the sea for a new world adventure with a 5 year old boy who lives by the sea. The boy names his new found friend Ponyo. This cute and charming movie is made for the younger children. Its simple animation style may seem rather crude and yesteryear when compared to the Pixar and DreamWorks spectaculars, but it’s still a delightful fantasy story.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "magical transformation" stars out of 4.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
A Perfect Getaway
The Honolulu honeymoon ends on the trail to paradise lost when different couples start suspecting each other as the newlywed killers. The two best things that Alien enjoyed about this film was the beautiful Hawaiian scenery and the wonderful conversations between the wacky characters as they hike their way along the unbeaten path to the beach and sea caves. However, the plot was too transparent and the ending was unimpressive. Alien found it imperfect and mediocre at best. The great setting and interesting characters are wasted in a so-so story.
Alien gives it 2 "red snapper" stars out of 4.
The Honolulu honeymoon ends on the trail to paradise lost when different couples start suspecting each other as the newlywed killers. The two best things that Alien enjoyed about this film was the beautiful Hawaiian scenery and the wonderful conversations between the wacky characters as they hike their way along the unbeaten path to the beach and sea caves. However, the plot was too transparent and the ending was unimpressive. Alien found it imperfect and mediocre at best. The great setting and interesting characters are wasted in a so-so story.
Alien gives it 2 "red snapper" stars out of 4.
