Alien at the Movies

Next Goal Wins

Instead of being fired, tempermental Dutch-American football (soccer) coach Thomas Rongen (Michael Fassbender) is forced to turn around the American Samoa national team. In 2001, the American Samoan team suffered the worst defeat in World Cup history. In the following 10 years, the team had gotten no better. Set up for the 2014 World Cup qualifying rounds, Rongen has his work cut out for him in this quirky sports comedy/drama based on true events. Fassbender & Kaimana are terrific as coach Rongen & transgendered Jaiyah. Will Arnet & Elisabeth Moss have small roles. Taika Waititi is the film’s writer/directer with a cameo role. If you like Waititi’s odd sense of humor, you may enjoy this underdog story. Summary captions, photos & film footage of the real people portrayed as well as a surprise clip appear at the end.

Alien gives it 3 “Slide Tackle” stars out of 4.

Madame Web

Cassie Webb (Dakota Johnson) is a New York City paramedic who starts to show sign of clairvoyance after a near death incident. Cassie’s mother was pregnant with her while on a research mission searching for a rare legendary Peruvian spider that spawned stories of an indigenous tribe with super powers. Cassie’s ability to see into the near future connects her to 3 teens, Julia Cornwall (Sydney Sweeney), Anya Corazon (Isabela Merced),  & Mattie Franklin (Celeste O’Connor). These girls are being hunted down by a mysterious spider-man-like villain. This is Sony’s origin story to possible future Marvel Spider-Women movies. It’s mostly glimpses of these 4 females’ future potential. Johnson is about the last person I’d expect to see casted as a Marvel character but I️ thought she perfectly fit into her role. Sweeney is great as an awkward geeky teen wearing glasses, quite different from other roles I’ve seen her in. Some viewers may be disappointed because clairvoyance is not the most exciting super power. This film feels more like the first stepping stone to some bigger stories yet to be told. Since I️ have no familiarity with these particular comic book characters, I️ will anxiously await for the sequels for more character developments. I️ suspect many male Marvel fans will fail to turn out because this movie is female lead oriented.

Alien gives it 3 “spider’s bite” stars out of 4.

Lift

Lift is a big heist movie like the Fast & Furious franchise but it has moved on to jet planes instead of muscle cars. Renowned international art thief Cyrus (Kevin Hart) & his skilled crew seems to be always one or more steps ahead of the authorities. Interpol agent Abby Gladwell (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) has had a past run in with Cyrus & is hot on his trail again. However, when a bigger problem threatening innocent lives surfaces, Gladwell is forced to enlist the aid of Cyrus & crew to highjack $20 million in gold bars being transported by plane. Just like the F&F series, this is a lighthearted romp with some crazy action thrills & some deceit that you may not see coming. Sam Worthington, Vincent D’Onofrio, & Jean Reno are among the supporting cast. If this film does well, I️ can see another heist being drawn up for a follow up. This film is more of a guilty pleasure show, not great but fun entertainment. 

Alien gives it 2½ “NFTs” stars out of 4.

Ordinary Angels

Ed (Alan Ritchson) struggles to raise his two young girls, Ashley & Michelle, after his wife dies. The youngest daughter Michelle needs a liver transplant & Ed finds the medical bills are mounting beyond his ability to pay up. Enter hairdresser Sharon (Hilary Swank) who is an alcoholic who won’t admit she has a problem. When she reads the headlines about this sick little girl, she starts a fund raiser to help offset some of the medical bills. As this true story progresses, Sharon is that pushy person that won’t take no for answer & becomes more & more obsessed with helping this family. This is a real tearjerker with the clock ticking to save this little girl’s life, & with blizzard conditions & road closures complicating things. It takes a village to work a miracle as the dire situation becomes desperately critical. Nancy Travis plays Ed’s mom & grandma to the two adorable girls. Photos a summary about the real characters portrayed are shown at the end of the film.

Alien gives it 3½ “Michelle, my belle” stars out of 4.

Priscilla

This is the story of Priscilla Presley of how she met famed Elvis Presley in West Germany in 1959 when she was just 14 years old & Elvis was 24 & serving in the army. How he wooed her, despite Priscilla’s parents concerns about their age difference & his megastar status. The story focuses on  Elvis gentlemanly treatment of Priscilla until she matured into womanhood. The film reveals the ups & downs about their relationship as Elvis’ fame & popularity grew. It deals with his addiction to pills & his temper. The demands of making movies kept Elvis away for extended periods & kept poor Priscilla in isolation with media attention creating drama & jealousy. This is a sad film about trying to live under the shadow of a superstar & the toll & stress that it takes on a person & their marriage. 

Alien gives it 2½ “my life with Elvis” stars out of 4.

Home Sweet Home

Not to be confused with the 1981 “Home Sweet Home” movie aka “Slasher in the House “ nor the 2013 “Home Sweet Home” movie about a couple trapped in their own home with a methodical killer. This one is about building a house/home for the needy.

Victoria (Natasha Bure) is a barista, a shallow girly girl, & a social butterfly who will conform just to fit in. When a handsome new guy Jason (Ben Elliot) arrives in town to build a house for a homeless mom with two kids, Victoria turns on her charm to get his attention. When he doesn’t respond, she volunteers for his house building ministry project to get closer to him. This is a fish-out-of-water romantic comedy with strong faith-based content that drives its characters decisions. The film is a bit heavy handed is its direction but still enjoy.

Alien gives it 2½ “Mathew 19:26” stars out of 4.

The Color Purple

Follow the sad story of Celie (Fantasia Barrino), a poor black woman in Georgia during.the early 1900’s. She goes from one abusive relationship to another as she tries to persevere & endure. She becomes separated from younger sister Nettie early on. Along her arduous journey, she meets & befriends other black women who support & influence her. This can be a difficult film to watch due to the mistreatment of these woman. Among the supporting cast of this musical version of the 1985 Spielberg original is Taraji P.Henson, Danielle Brooks, Colman Domingo, & Corey Hawkins. Whoopi Goldberg has a cameo. The acting is terrific. The sets & backdrops were perfect. I️ loved the musical song & dance numbers. I️ have never seen the 1985 version so I️ can’t compare. This is a very emotional story about family & faith in God. 

Alien gives it 3½ “Juke Joint” stars out of 4.

Saltburn

Oliver arrives at Oxford University on a scholarship. When he befriends handsome, charismatic, rich kid Felix, Oliver lies about his background to this group of wealthy popular classmates which includes Felix’s sister & cousin.  Felix invites Oliver to spend the summer break at his country estate home, Saltburn. There, he is meets the parents & is exposed to their lavish lifestyle. This is supposed to be a black comedy but it was too dark for me to even notice. The tone felt ominous & I expected something bad to befall on poor Oliver who didn’t really fit in with these rich people. But then there was the turn of events which caught me off guard. And the evil plot was finally revealed. Maybe my internal jealousy of viewing how extravagantly these Richy Rich’s lived blinded me from how ludicrous this was. To me, this film seemed to be more bizarre & sensual than entertaining. Once again, its darkness may have clouded by judgement.

Alien gives it 2 “naked dance” stars out of 4.

Five Blind Dates

It’s old Chinese customs meets bridezilla when a young woman, Lia, estranged from her dysfunctional family returns home to be in her sister’s wedding. After her grandmother’s passing, Lia followed her dream of running an old fashion Chinese tea shop but her business is not doing so well. When asked by her sister, Alice, to be the maid of honor, she gets drawn back into the family drama. A fortune teller tells Lia that she will meet her soul mate after going on 5 blind dates. Her family & a friend are excited to set her up with their impression of her dream date. Of course, so much goes wrong in this romantic comedy. It’s the typical rom/com formula for laughs while balancing follow your dreams & hold on to your culture.

Alien gives it 3 “Social Media Posts” stars out of 4. 

Surrounded

Five years after the Civil War, a young black woman, Moses “Mo” Washington (Letitia Wright), now a freedwoman & a former Buffalo Soldier, catches a stage coach to head out west, but disguised as a man. The times are still very prejudiced & racist towards blacks & women. Mo just tries to be low keyed & not cause any trouble. However, a botched stage coach robbery goes awry & puts Mo in the middle of a gun battle and must hold a dangerous outlaw, Tommy Walsh (Jamie Bell) captive while the rest of the bandit’s gang may show up at any minute.

Alien gives it 2½ “Colorado or Bust” stars out of 4. 

Lisa Frankenstein 

Ever since the tragic death of her mom, Lisa (Kathryn Newton) has been rather shy, timid, & weird. After her dad remarries, she gains an evil stepmother (Carla Gugino) & a caring stepsister Taffy. Lisa has a fantasy attraction to a grave plot of an unknown Victorian. One stormy night, a lightning strike reanimates her fantasy corpse (Cole Sprouse) who seeks her out. After her initial fright, Lisa takes a liking to this creature, hides him in her closet, & takes his fashion advice. Her personality changes, but unfortunately bodies must be sacrificed to improve her new walking dead friend. This eventually becomes a love story as Lisa & the corpse develop feelings for each other in the comedy/horror film written by Diablo Cody. This is a quirky dark comedy that may not be up to everyone’s taste & sense of humor.

Alien gives it 2½ “Goth Girl” stars out of 4.

Dicks: The Musical

This is an in-your-face, non-family-friendly, warped musical version of “The Parent Trap”. Identical twins are separated at birth & raised individually by one parent, but they become successful businessmen who meet during a corporate merger & discover they are siblings. In a plan to reunite their parents & create one happy family, the twins switch places to get to know the parent they never knew. This is an over-the-top, outlandish, silly musical comedy written by and starring 2 homosexual men, Josh Sharp & Aaron Jackson, the identical twins who don’t look alike. This film is rated R for language (f-bombs galore & crude terms), sexual content, & some nudity (not likely what you may have expected). It is just so quirky odd & weird leaning more & more towards tasteless, trashy, & vulgar for its humor. It’s a gay spoof of the Disney classic. This film is not likely to appeal to many, unless your sense of humor is a bit twisted. Among the supporting cast is Nathan Lane, Megan Mullalley, Megan Thee Stallion, Bowen Yang, & Nick Offerman.

Alien gives it 2 “Sewer Boys” stars out of 4.

The Taste of Things (La Passion de Dodin Bouffant)

In 1885 France, Eugénie (Juliette Binoche) has worked as a chef for famed restaurant owner Dodin (Benoît Magimel) for 20 years. Since they have spent so many years working closely together developing & perfecting recipes, they start to develop feelings for each other. Their shared love of food has created many unique, delicious, & exquisite dishes that attract people from all over the world. Dodin has proposed marriage to Eugénie many times, but she playfully rather remain a free spirit. When she suddenly falls under the weather, he takes to comforting her with his cooking. This is a love story about passion, tragedy, & grief. However, in the background to all this is a real stealer… the food. It’s a feast for the eyes; from gathering vegetables in the garden to the food prep to the elaborate cooking steps to plating the dishes. Then seeing the expressions after tasting. All of these dishes are made old school without electricity, running water, or refrigeration. This is a French film with subtitles but don’t let that keep you away from checking it out. This is definitely one for you foodies out there. You may be salivating & drooling during the film and then craving some fine French dining afterwards.

Alien gives it 3 “Pot-au-Feu” stars out of 4.

Upgraded

It's “Cinderella” meets “The Devil Wears Prada” in the art auction world when an insecure but ambitious intern Ana Santos (Camila Mendes) with an art world career dream tries to impress her demanding boss Claire Dupree (Marissa Tomei). A last minute invite to London for a big auction makes Ana the lackey to bossy Claire & her 2 snobby & snarky assistants (think evil stepmother & stepsisters). Fortunately, Ana gets bumped to first class from economy class. At the airport, she bumps into handsome & rich Will (think Prince Charming) & meets him again on the plane. Being a romantic comedy, you should get the picture by now. Through a misunderstanding & a lie that only perpetuates more deceit, Ana finds herself in some messy situations & falling in love. Lena Olin plays Will’s mother Catherine. If you enjoy rom/coms & fairy tales, you’ll probably enjoy this entertaining seize-the-moments-that-can-change-your-life film.

Alien gives it 3 “Erwin’s” stars out of 4.