Monday, October 28, 2024
Killer Heat
On the Greek island of Crete, American private detective Nick Bali (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is secretly hired by Penelope Vardakis (Shailene Woodley) to investigate the death of her husband Elias’ identical twin brother Leo. The wealthy Vardakis family controls the police & nearly everyone on the island so the case was closed & ruled as an accidental death. She tells Nick she suspects it may have been murder. The family fears any more attention may harm the family’s business stock value. This is a modern day noir murder mystery detective story complete with the troubled sleuth’s voiceover narration. It’s a tale of jealousy & betrayal with the focus on the key suspects: the brother, the wife, & the mother. I️ had my suspicions from the get go, but there were some twists & turns that I️ did not see coming. Who will take the fall? Who will survive the outcome? Will Nick get some closure?
Alien gives it 2½ “freedom” stars out of 4.
Friday, October 25, 2024
The Royal Bake Off
Former friends & coworkers, Allie & Marily, are now competitors in their small town of Meadow Ridge. They both learned to bake working with Nana Lola. However, they had a falling out & each opened their own bakeries. When the Prince of Samavia arrives looking a coronation cake for his brother’s celebration, the rivalry between Allie & Marily intensifies. Prince James’ fond childhood memories of Nana Lola’s special cake brought him back to Meadow Ridge for that tasty treat. A bake off is proposed to choose the royal baker for the coronation. It”s a fairly generic & predictable rom/com plot. Jealousy & competitiveness get in the way of fair play until these two ladies realize the error of their ways. It’s lighthearted entertainment.
Alien gives it 2 “Double Strawberry Charlotte Cake” stars out of 4.
Thursday, October 24, 2024
Canary Black
Avery Graves (Kate Beckinsale) is a CIA agent forced to retrieve a mysterious file referred to as “Canary Black” in order to save her kidnapped husband, David. She must go against her CIA counterparts with the clock ticking. This is mostly a series of big action scenes tying together a blackmail scheme to trigger a bigger blackmail scheme with Agent Graves almost single handily battling on her coerced mission. Who can she trust? With twists & turns, Graves must get down to the truth, rescue her husband, & save the day. It’s almost a given that the hero will almost always save the day, but will she have brunt too many bridges along the way? Will she be able to save her husband & their marriage? What is this Canary Black? Will there be a sequel for Agent Graves? Ray Stevenson costars.
Alien gives it 2½ “MC6 & that crazy bitch” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, October 23, 2024
Magpie
Ben & Anette’s (Daisy Ridley) young daughter, Matilda, lands a starring role along side of a popular & glamorous movie star, Alicia. Ben chaperones Matilda to the film sets, while Anette stays home to care for their fussy newborn. Ben soon finds himself attracted to the flirty Alicia. However, when Anette suspects that Ben may be infatuated with Alicia & possibly been unfaithful, she seeks out evidence of any secrets & lies that her husband may be harboring. We watch the disintegration of their marriage as the tension builds with each romantic text message that flashes across the phone screens. The surprise conclusion happens after the film shoots are finally over. Will Ben & Alicia’s relationship be finally over now? Will Ben & Annette finally get to patch up their waning relationship? Is there divorce in the picture? I️ was completely caught off guard with this film. I may have to rewatch this film.
Alien gives it 3½ “Hell has no fury like a woman scorned” stars out of 4.
Tuesday, October 22, 2024
Brothers
This crime comedy features Jady (Peter Dinklage) & Moke (Josh Brolin) as twin brothers of a family of felons, the Mungers. Casting these 2 leads is reminiscent of Danny DeVito & Arnold Schwarzenegger in “Twins” without the genetics experimentation explanation. Jady was always the brains of the two while Moke was the muscle & the man with the skills. Chased by the police after an emerald gems heist, their mom, Cath, disappears for 30 years with her boyfriend, Glen. As the Munger brothers’ life of crime continues, Jady takes the fall one night while Moke escapes. Moke goes straight & gets married. After years in prison, Jady gets an early parole through a shady deal with a crooked correctional officer, Farful (Brendan Fraser) & his crooked father, Judge Farful (M. Emmet Walsh). Then, mom Cath (Glenn Close) shows up to dig up the hidden gems with the help of her sons. Marissa Tomei is among the supporting cast. This is supposed to be a screwball comedy, but seems more like a series of odd quirky situations strung together. In the end, it’s all about being a family & looking out for each other. I’m not even sure why these famed actors signed up for this project. I️ don’t feel the chemistry between the actors & the film just feels flat barely raising a chuckle & a grin. Maybe it’s just not my sense of humor.
Alien gives it 1½ “friendly orangutan” stars out of 4.
Late Bloomers
Louise (Karen Gillian) is an aimless 28-year-old who breaks her hip while drunk one night. While at the hospital, she meets an angry cranky elderly Polish woman, Antonia, who doesn’t speak English & seems to be mad at everyone & everything. Louise is too kind hearted & tries to be nice to Antonia. She ends up being hired as Antonia’s caretaker. This is a funny & emotional drama/comedy as two slowly bond without admitting it to each other. We slowly learn about why each are the way they are. Antonia only speaks in Polish with no translation. So Louise’s reactions & monologues tries to explain their situations. This coming-of-age growing up story is frustratingly funny with a feel good ending.
Alien gives it 3 “diapers, dance, & physical therapy” stars out of 4.
Goodrich
Andy Goodrich is about to get a wake up call that will take him on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Andy (Michael Keaton) is a 60-year-old art dealer, married to a much younger wife, Naomi, & has 9-year-old twins, Billie & Mose. Late one night, he gets a call from Naomi saying she has checked into rehab & is thinking about leaving him. Now he is faced with all of those parenting responsibilities his wife took care of, while he was so busy with work. As he struggles playing single dad, he calls up his 36-year-old daughter, Grace (Mila Kunis) from his first marriage for help. Andy is also stressed because of financial problems at his art gallery. This drama comedy deals with parenting issues, father/child bonds, & trying to multitask. Keaton & Kunis are outstanding & will bring you to tears & give you some laughs. Can Andy reinvent himself into being a better dad? Can he save his failing business? Can he patch things up with his older daughter? This is a funny bittersweet journey for a man trying to be a good dad & provider as well as trying to make amends for past failures.
Alien gives it 3 “Where is mom?” stars out of 4.
Friday, October 18, 2024
Panda Plan
It’s “Die Hard” meets “Jurassic Park” meets “Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls” when legendary Kung Fu action movie star Jackie Chan (playing himself) is invited to adopt a beloved Noah Zoo panda cub named Big Babe. However, a notorious international crime syndicate has plans to kidnap the panda offering a huge reward. Jackie, like John McClane, is the fly in the ointment who mucks up the kidnap scheme. It becomes a game of hide & seek on this huge animal park. This is an action comedy featuring all of those Jackie Chan theatrics we all love… crazy action stunts with his sense of humor. It’s a silly romp not to be taken seriously as this outrageous plot plays out… but it is entertaining & family friendly fun. The storyline with a surprise twist leans more to comedy than action drama. This film is spoken in part Mandarin & in part English with subtitles. Even if you are slow in reading subtitles, it is still easy to catch the drift of what’s happening. The story relies more on the action occurring. With Jackie Chan & a cute baby panda… what could go wrong? They are both adorable. This movie is targeting younger kids.
Alien gives it 2½ “forklifts & rhinos… oh my!” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, October 16, 2024
Smile 2
This is a behind-the-scenes & backstage look at the life of Skye Ryder (Naomi Scott), a pop music star celebrity sensation, but it has a psychological horror twist to it. After recovering from a tragic auto accident & a stint in rehab for drugs & alcohol addiction, Skye is about to relaunch her career with a world tour. She is feeling the stresses being placed on her. The rehearsals, her controlling mom, her fans, her personal appearances, & a nagging back injury are getting to her. When she sneaks out to secretly get pain meds from her friend Lewis, a tragic self-mutilation death occurs. Thus, begins Skye’s horrifying journey where she is haunted by creepy smiling faces. This sequel to the 2022 original “Smile” also leaves audiences to ponder whether is she just hallucinating, or is this some paranormal curse, or is this some parasitic demonic infection. Expect much blood & gore as Skye’s torment escalates to the point that she can’t recognize what is real & what is not. The film is filled with lots of beautiful as well as horrific images. There will be those anticipated jump scares always lurking. Scott is terrific as the diva who seems to have gone madly insane. I️ did love the choreographed song & dance numbers. The film climaxes at Skye’s big comeback concert but may leave you wondering what have you just seen. The experience is mind bending & your eyes won’t be able to unsee certain scenes. Be forewarned that this may not be your cup of tea & may leave you with emotional scars.
Alien gives it 3 “Stay hydrated & I️ am in control” stars out of 4.
Monday, October 14, 2024
Popular Theory
It’s “Gifted” meets “Mean Girls” meets “Frankenstein” when 12-year-old genius, Erwin, finds herself in social isolation at her new high school. She doesn’t have any friends & even her older sister/fellow classmate thinks she is a social leper. When new student/chemistry genius/fellow outcast, Winston, arrives, Erwin faces a challenging competitor. However, determined to win the State Science Fair Contest, both team up & create a popularity chemical that can change their high school hierarchy. As they run their lab rat experiments to test their new drug, things begin to get way out of hand in this comedy about friendships, popularity, & sibling bonding. This is a fun family film targeting preteens.
Alien gives it 2½ “chewing gum sticks” stars out of 4.
Sunday, October 13, 2024
Salem’s Lot
Author Ben Mears returns to his childhood hometown of Jerusalem’s Lot to do some research for his next book. A strange European man, Straker, also comes to town & opens an antique shop. What begins a a little romance story shifts to horror take. Suddenly, a young boy disappears. Next, his brother is diagnosed to have died from a rare blood condition. When more people disappear, it’s rumored that there is a vampire in town. A group forms to prepare & protect themselves from the growing vampire population. One by one, the people are turned. Who will survive these creatures of the night?
Alien gives it 3 “Night at the Drive-In” stars out of 4.
Terrifier
With the recent release of the next sequel, Terrifier 3, I️ thought I️ might check out this original 2016 film to see what this franchise was about.
It’s Halloween season & there is creepy clown with black & white face makeup wearing a tiny black hat who is stalking a neighborhood brutally & viscously slaying people. If you like your horror shows sadistically savage, bloody, & gory, Art the Clown maybe the evil psycho that you are looking for. There is not much to this simple & predictable plot but just a string of ghastly butchering of pretty girls & dumb guys. Expose a couple of breasts to titillate the boys. It’s a bloodbath & the clown never seems to stay down. Will any of his victims survive the night? Will Art the Clown be found at the morgue? Well, with 2 sequels, this clown obviously has returned for more murder & mayhem. I️ would suspect by viewing just this one, most would get the message & their fill of horrendously bloody images. But if your blood lust hasn’t been quenched, you’ll probably seek more disturbing imagery from this demented clown.
Alien gives it 1½ “split & decapitated” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, October 09, 2024
Cinderella’s Revenge
We all know the Cinderella's fairy tale, especially the Disney animated classic, as well as some of the many retelling of it in so many variations. Well, this is a more darker version with a twist. It’s the same basic story: stepmother & 2 stepsisters treating Cinderella like a servant, the prince & the royal ball, fairy godmother, glass slipper, & such. Well, this is no “bibbidi bobbidi boo” fairy godmother for she conjures up Tom Ford, Vidal Sassoon, Christian Louboutin, & Elon Musk to do Cinderella’s complete makeover. The stepmother is exceptionally cruel & murderous. The stepsisters are not ugly but trashy & crude. With a devilish glint, fairy godmother supplies Cinderella with the implement that seduces sweet Cindy to the Dark Side as she savagely & bloodily vanquishes all those who have wronged her. Filmmakers are trying to have fun with their twisted tale but it just comes off as overly melodramatic, unfunny, not suspenseful, & rather dumb. With black comedy, there is a fine line to tip toe along & that mark was missed. With the nudity, sexual innuendos, bloody gore, & language, this is no fairy tale for the kiddies but there is not much thrill or excitement for any adults either. It’s mostly stupid & silly, not focusing on any target audience.
Alien gives it 1 “Hammer pants, lavender scent, & croquet mallet” star out of 4.
Friday, October 04, 2024
Trouble
An awkward electronics salesman, Conny, is wrongfully convicted of murder, ends up in prison, & must escape to prove his innocence. This is a remake of the 1988 Swedish crime comedy called “Strul”. This is your basic fish-out-of-water scenario when the inept Conny finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time & becomes the fall guy to take the rap for murder. This is a comedy of errors when he becomes entangled with a prison escape & getaway plan, police corruption, & criminal conspiracy. It’s goofy fun & entertainment as silly mistakes & coincidences lead to the big finale.
Alien gives it 2½ “noise cancelling headphones, big screen televisions, & shaved eyebrows” stars out of 4.
Blink
This documentary chronicles a Canadian family’s year long global trip capturing their journey to experience the world’s beauty. The Pelletier family of six has decided to make this trip when 3 of their 4 kids are diagnosed with a rare incurable genetic disorder that leads to permanent blindness. It’s a once in a lifetime adventure to see things on their check off list before the darkness befalls them. Witness the family’s memories of their breathtaking destinations & encounters, their love, their resilience, & their sense of wonder as they refuse to let their uncertain future define their present. It’s a heartwarming story of a loving family dealing a difficult situation.
Alien gives it 3 “from mountains to deserts to rainforests” stars out of 4.
Wednesday, October 02, 2024
House of Spoils
A talented sous chef (Adriana DeBose) quits her job at a high end fine dining establishment to open her own restaurant upstate in a remote quaint old estate. This new place has been abandoned for quite a bit & needs lots of clean up. She begins to hear funny noises on the property. She is battling kitchen chaos: bug infestations & spoiling foods. Is the place cursed & haunted by a supernatural presence or is she hallucinating? Something seems to sabotage her initial test runs. Her investors are threatening to pull out. She begins to have self doubts about her new business. She learns from a local that her place used to be own by a lady thought to be a witch who held mystical ceremonies with her coven there. Then, she finds a secret garden that seems to turn things around for her. On the night of her restaurant’s grand opening things get really weird. Will her business become successful? Or will she succumb to some mysterious presence? This one is more eerie than scary. The tasty treats for the eye seem to be overshadowed by more disgusting images. The film seems to be driven more by certain scenes presented than the murky plot. However, I did like DeBose’s performance. This one was never destined to play at theaters but check it out at one of those streaming services.
Alien gives it 2 “cauldron boil & bubble” stars out of 4.