Alien at the Movies

Honey Don’t

Are you up for a modern day, old school gumshoe murder mystery? Director Ethan Coen has given a neo-noir twist to this dark crime comedy with retro look. If you have seen Coen’s “Drive-Away Dolls”, you will have a sense of what’s to come. It’s titillation, shock, & awe as sex scenes & violence explode on the big screen. Set in quiet, dusty Bakersfield, California, private detective Honey O’Donahue (Margaret Qualley) struts into frame wearing that white blouse, tight black pencil skirt, & those click-clacking red shoes oozing with sex appeal. She is investing a fatal auto crash. While there, she has some smart repartee with clueless homicide detective Marty Metakawich (Charlie Day). Aubrey Plaza plays police officer MG Falcone who gives Honey more than just some inside information. Chris Evans plays Reverend Drew Devlin, the sleazy cult leader of the Four-Way Temple. As the body count rises, there seems to be a connection to Devlin’s church. This one is rated R for bloody violence & borderline soft porn. There’s Evans naked & near naked body as he privately preaches to some of his female congregation members. There is a full frontal shot as while as some girl on girl orgasmic action & some kitty time. If you are bothered by gratuitous extreme movie sex scenes, this may not be a show for you. But if you like quirky, you might find this film interesting. There is also a subplot involving domestic abuse & a missing person. Qualley, Plaza, Evans, & Day are excellent as they play their roles way over the top. I️ was amazed by creative opening credits blended into the small town landscape. This one is not so much about the story plot but the look & feel of movie.

Alien gives it 3 “Don’t be the macaroni” stars out of 4.

The Map That Leads To You

Heather (Madelyn Cline) & her BFFs from college, Connie & Amy, are taking a European vacation traveling to Spain & Portugal. On the train from Amsterdam, Heather meets Jack (KJ Apa), a charismatic New Zealand adventurer who is following his late grandfather’s journal to visit various European cities. Heather is a planner with her whole life mapped out… the college degree & a banking job waiting for her after this R & R with her gal pals. Jack is not & quite the opposite. It’s easy to see where this rom/com is going to go. Connie & Amy manage to hook up with a couple of guys too. Amy is the wild one & manages to get robbed on her one night stand, but good fortune comes their way giving them an even better experience. After 2 great weeks, it is time to part ways & return home. Heather has even extended her vacation a few more days to be with Jack longer. They have now fallen in love with each other. She presses him about their future together but he becomes evasive & does not wanted to talk about it. She will she abandon her dreams to stay will him? Will he follow her back to New York? Does Jack harbor some dark secret? Will they end up going there separate ways? Or will they be together at the end. This one is about finding your purpose in life. I️f you like romantic comedies, you probably enjoy this one. I️  did like seeing the glimpses the different European landmarks.

Alien gives it 3 “If you take the wrong path, you can miss it & regret it all of your life” stars out of 4.

The Legend of Ochi

There is a remote village on the island of Carpathia in the Black Sea. This village is plagued by attacks from primate-like animals called the Ochi. A young farm girl named Yuri is warned by her father, Maxim (Willem Dafoe), not to go out after dark because of the Ochi. Maxim has organized the boys of the village to hunt down these dangerous creatures. Then one day while checking the traps, Yuri stumbles upon a baby Ochi injured in a trap. She frees it & tends to its wound. Despite all of the fears about the Ochi, she decides to hide it & return it to its home & family. Does this sound similar to the plot of “How to Train Your Dragon”? When Maxim discovers Yuri is missing, he & the boys go looking for her. In a subplot, Yuri finds her estranged mother (Emily Watson) who deserted the family years ago & she asks her mom why. While on this journey, Yuri believes she can communicate to this baby Ochi mimicking the trilling sounds. This film focuses on the theme of family.

Alien gives it 3 “talk to the animals” stars out of 4.

Relay 

In New York City, a secretive fixer (Riz Amed) acts as an intermediary between whistleblowers & corrupt companies. We are introduced to one client named Hoffman which had a successful result. Sarah Grant (Lily James) is his next client but she has second doubts & just wants to safely return the stolen documents to her company in order to stop their harassment. However, Sarah is under surveillance by a professional counterintelligence team led by Dawson (Sam Worthington). This intense thriller is very cloak & dagger with lots of secrecy to protect identities. The fixer uses a telecommunications device for the deaf to maintain anonymity. The twists & turns will keep audiences on their toes & guessing. Who was going to win in game of cat & mouse? Will the company get exposed or get away with it? Will Sarah be eliminated? Will she get paid off? Will the fixer’s cover get blown?

Alien gives it 3 “Tri-State Relay Service” stars out of 4.

Americana

Americana is a crime drama told in several parts with an odd cast of characters. As these interesting quirky personalities are revealed so is the plot to steal a rare Indian artifact. Sidney Sweeney plays Penny Jo, a shy diner waitress who dreams of becoming a country singer. The Paul Walter Hauser plays Lefty, a lovable loser desperate to find a wife. Halsey plays Mandy with son, Cal, who thinks he is the reincarnation of Sitting Bull. She has an abusive partner, Dillon (Eric Dane). After the violent robbery of the valuable Ghost Shirt, interested parties converge on a family compound for the big shootout. Who will walk away? Who gets the Ghost Shirt? Who gets the money? This movie is an unusual slice of Americana… kind of Cowboys & Indians in the modern Wild West. This one is a bit slow & puzzling in the beginning as audiences try to figure out what is going on here. 

Alien gives it 2½ “ some family drama at the f***ing little house on the prairie” stars out of 4.

Eden

Set against the turmoil of World War I️, these European settlers arrive at Floreana Island, in the Galápagos Islands, Ecuador with utopian dreams of finding new beginnings for themselves. First, there was a doctor & his wife, Fredrick & Dore (Jude Law & Vanessa Kirby). He is fed up the current world values & has escaped to this isolated island to write his manifesto. His wife suffers from multiple sclerosis. When Heinz & his pregnant wife Margret (Daniel Brühl & Sidney Sweeney) with their son Harry arrive, they receive a polite but not so friendly welcome. Next, the Baroness Eloise (Ana de Armas) & her entourage arrive to begin planning to build a resort hotel there. These settlers will soon discover that this remote island with its limited resources, inclement weather, & unpredictable wildlife will prove to be challenging. Director Ron Howard has created a dark tale dealing with conflict & survival. This a terrific cast. These 3 lovely ladies, the Ballerina, Invisible Woman, & the Anyone But You “Bea”, shine as they break out of their stereotypical casted roles & get to stretch their acting chops. This film is rated R for violence & nudity (including full frontal). Ironically, where Charles Darwin hypothesized his theory of evolution, we witness the de-evolution these humans in their desperation for survival pushes them to their limits & beyond. Who will survive? Whose dreams of paradise will be dashed? This movie is based on historical information. Film footage of the real characters portrayed is shown at the end with some summaries.

Alien gives it 3 “canned goods” stars out of 4.

Nobody 2

It’s “John Wick” meets “National Lampoon’s Vacation” meets “The Family Plan” when suburban dad/family guy/retired lethal assassin gets pulled back into the criminal underworld. This is the sequel to 2021’s “Nobody” where Hutch Mansell (Bob Odenkirk) tries to live a peaceful mundane life but a home invasion triggers his former skills to protect his family. Four years later, feeling overwhelmed by the stresses of life & drifting apart from his wife & kids, Hutch plans a getaway family vacation to Wild Bill’s Majestic Midway & Water Park in Plummerville, a fond childhood memory of his & his adopted brother. However, Hutch soon learns the true corrupt nature of this tiny town & he must take a stand to protect his family again. Like the original film, over-the-top explosive violence & dark humor dominates the action on screen as Hutch & company weaponize this fun park. Sharon Stone & Colin Hanks are featured villains. After this vacation, the Munsells are gonna need another vacation.

Alien gives it 3½ “duck boat, water park slide, & fun house fun with mirrors” stars out of 4.

Freakier Friday

It’s two decades later. Can lightning twice? Mother & daughter, Tess & Anna Colman (Jaime Leigh Curtis & Lindsay Lohan), find themselves entangled in another body swap situation. However, is a double switch double the fun? Anna is now a single mom raising her own teenage daughter, Harper, with grandma Tess lending a helping hand. When Harper & new classmate, Lily, cause a huge commotion in chemistry class, each of their single parent is called to the principal’s office. Anna meets Lily’s dad, Eric, & 6 months later wedding bells are just around the corner. The teens can’t stand each other & both worry about how this marriage will change their family dynamics. When mysterious fortune teller, Madame Jen, has a session with the Tess & Anna and then another session with Harper & Lily, earthquake tremors rattle only these four & morning brings those freaky changes between the adults swapping with the teens. Thus, the comedy of errors begins as each manages to wreak havoc in each other’s lives. Again, this is the story of living life in another’s shoes. They all learn the truths about each other that they did not see before. If you were a fan of the 2003 Freaky Friday, you’ll likely love this nostalgic visit down memory lane. See many familiar returning faces. However, I️ feel Disney is playing it too safe & just rehashing many of the same freaky themes in this sequel. See some outtakes as the credits roll.

Alien gives it 3 “change the hearts you know are wrong to reach the place where you belong” stars out of 4.

Locked 

It’s “Phone Booth” meets “Christine” with Hannibal Lector at the wheel… well not exactly. Eddie (Bill Skarsgård) is a broke, low life, deadbeat dad who tries to steal a car. However, he finally picks the wrong vehicle. It looks like a luxury SUV, but it is really an elaborate trap. Once inside, Eddie finds himself locked inside unable to escape. This is when the plot seems too ridiculously unbelievable. But bear with this nonsense & you may be a bit entertained. A caller rings & rings into the car & Eddie finally answers it. It is William the car owner (Anthony Hopkins) on the other end. This then becomes a cat & mouse game with William in control deliciously torturing poor Eddie as his sadistic motives are slowly revealed. Willian takes Eddie for quite a ride. Will Eddie ever escape to SUV & see his little girl again? Who be the victims in this strange seeking justice game? It is a pretty far fetched premise, but if you switch off your brain, you may be a bit entertained. Be like Eddie, locked in for the ride. Two good actors stuck in a stupid script.

Alien gives it 2 “love bug” stars out of 4.

The Pickup

It’s the “Odd Couple” meets “Armored” meets “Fast & Furious” in this heist comedy. Veteran armored car driver Russell (Eddie Murphy) is teamed up rookie Travis (Pete Davison) on a routine cash pickup when they get ambushed by criminals. Led by their mastermind Zoe (Keke Palmer), it’s a two car high speed attack where 2 of the robbers & their vehicles get strewn across the road. But Zoe manages to commandeer the armored car & forces Russell & Travis to participate in another heist. Meanwhile, Zoe’s former partners who were left behind & now seek revenge, go after Zoe, Russell, & Travis for more high speed shoot ‘m up bumper car action. Oh… and Russell’s wife Natalie (Eva Longoria) gets sucked into game plan. This one just for mindless fun & excitement as these two mismatched personalities have a very bad day.

Alien gives it 2½ “Happy Anniversary Dear” stars out of 4.

Sketch

This is a fantasy adventure where a young girl’s sketchbook fall into a magical pool & her drawings come to life & terrorize the town. Tony Hale plays Taylor Wyatt, a widower/father of Amber & Jack. This family is having difficulties dealing with the death of their wife/mother. Amber is channeling her stresses by drawing these imaginary monster creatures… directing her anxieties to her inbox instead using her outbox (lashing out at others). Taylor & Jack are so focused on Amber’s behavior that they don’t see their own difficulties. See how these characters try to fight off these imaginary & possibly dangerous creatures. I️ did like the kids’ point of view of dealing with their dilemma. What seems like a fun family film may be too dark & scary for the little kiddies as the movie gives off a strong horror vibe.

Alien gives it 3½ “Dave, Eye-ders, & Other Sketchy Creatures” stars out of 4.

Tinā

Samoan teacher Mareta Percival is struggling after the tragic loss of her daughter. Coming from a poorer background, she reluctantly takes a job as a substitute teacher at a prestigious elite school. After meeting this student Sophie, Mareta decides to establish a school choir program. However, her teaching methods are unconventional but effective. She soon has her student singers harmonizing & working together. When they are headed to nationals, Mareta’s secret is revealed. I️ loved how this lady’s culture is weaved into the movie’s story. Tinā means mother in Samoan. This New Zealand/Samoan inspiring bittersweet story is about rediscovering one’s passions as a teacher & a mother. 

Alien gives it 2½ “physical & emotional scars” stars out of 4.

Weapons

There is something really wrong here in the small town of Maybrook when one night at exactly 2:17 am, 17 students (all but one) from Miss Gandy’s classroom suddenly vanished for no apparent reason!!! This sets off this community to ask why… how… who or what is behind is behind this eerie event? As shown on security camera footage, these children left their homes willingly in the middle of the night all at the same time. Just so bizarre. What witchcraft is this? Is it paranormal? Is it supernatural? Is it demonic? What evil plot is this? And what is the meaning of this movie’s title? So many questions! This horror mystery is told in personal chapters…. teacher, contractor, cop, druggie, student, principal… each giving some little pieces of clues… what’s relevant… what’s relative… By about the third chapter, I️ was beginning to see a purpose to this method. This movie is more mystery & suspense in the beginning but quickly ramps up the terror & fright after the reveal. Can you figure out what evil is driving this plot before the key players? The teacher is driven to drink from all of the accusations against her. The angry dad is confrontational. The lone remaining student seems very shy & has nothing to say. The cop & the druggie have a couple of run-ins. The principal is searching for answers & trying to calm the upset parents. Filmmakers have constructed an elaborate puzzle feeding audiences little hints a little at a time for them to solve this weird case. This one feels more creepy at the start but shifts quickly to horror mode for the finale. I️ liked that look of the film & the actors were terrific. Even the actor kids seemed to relish their big scenes. I️ am not a particular big fan of the horror genre, but I️ was impressed with how well crafted this film was. Julia Garner, Josh Brolin, Benedict Wong, Alden Ehrenreich, & Amy Madigan highlight the cast.

Alien gives it 4 “running with airplane wings” stars out of 4.