Thursday, April 30, 2009
Next Day Air
Drugs sent through a commercial delivery service get misdirected to some two-bit, stupid ass criminals who try to sell it as the drug king comes looking to reclaim his goods. This dark comedy will probably have limited appeal. If you come from the hood, you may enjoy this brand of humor. Alien finds this movie offensive in its stereotypical character portrayals. The highlight for Alien was the violent blood bath scene because I knew it would be over soon.
Alien gives it ½ "humor from the hood lost in translation" stars out of 4.
Drugs sent through a commercial delivery service get misdirected to some two-bit, stupid ass criminals who try to sell it as the drug king comes looking to reclaim his goods. This dark comedy will probably have limited appeal. If you come from the hood, you may enjoy this brand of humor. Alien finds this movie offensive in its stereotypical character portrayals. The highlight for Alien was the violent blood bath scene because I knew it would be over soon.
Alien gives it ½ "humor from the hood lost in translation" stars out of 4.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
The Proposal
An executive assistant (Ryan Reynolds) must marry his "The Devil Wears Prada" boss (Sandra Bullock) to save her from being deported. All romantic comedies are predictable because you know that the two people who can’t stand each other in the beginning will eventual fall in love. However, how you get from the beginning to the end is where you find the entertainment value. This is a hilarious film from start to finish. It’s got a great cast. Reynolds and Bullock are a fun couple to watch. Bullock has great comedic talent and is not afraid to put herself out there as seen in a hysterical nude scene and uproarious dance number. The script has smart dialogue as the "engaged" couple spar for a few rounds each trying to best the other. There is a "fish out of water" element when the couple goes to visit his folks (Craig T. Nelson, Mary Steenburgen) and Gammy (Betty White). It is another outstanding chick flick and date movie. Stay through the credits to hear the immigration interview. The only bad thing Alien has to say is that the audience will have to wait another month and a half to see this winner.
Alien gives it 3 ½ "the puppy, the eagle, and the cell phone" stars out of 4.
An executive assistant (Ryan Reynolds) must marry his "The Devil Wears Prada" boss (Sandra Bullock) to save her from being deported. All romantic comedies are predictable because you know that the two people who can’t stand each other in the beginning will eventual fall in love. However, how you get from the beginning to the end is where you find the entertainment value. This is a hilarious film from start to finish. It’s got a great cast. Reynolds and Bullock are a fun couple to watch. Bullock has great comedic talent and is not afraid to put herself out there as seen in a hysterical nude scene and uproarious dance number. The script has smart dialogue as the "engaged" couple spar for a few rounds each trying to best the other. There is a "fish out of water" element when the couple goes to visit his folks (Craig T. Nelson, Mary Steenburgen) and Gammy (Betty White). It is another outstanding chick flick and date movie. Stay through the credits to hear the immigration interview. The only bad thing Alien has to say is that the audience will have to wait another month and a half to see this winner.
Alien gives it 3 ½ "the puppy, the eagle, and the cell phone" stars out of 4.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Battle for Terra
It’s "Star Wars" meets "Enemy Mine" meets "Wall-E" when two civilizations fight for survival over a planet called Terra and it’s all done in wonderful 3D. Mankind’s final hope relies on colonizing Terra before their Ark spaceship fails. However, the planet is inhabited by some peaceful and seemingly defenseless creatures. Does an extreme need give you the right to take things at the expense of others? This is a heavy handed tale about war and peace, survival and sacrifice, and understanding and cooperation. Alien was surprised this animated seemed more adult theme and not geared more for the younger kiddies (7 year olds and under).
Alien gives it 2 ½ "sky whale" stars out of 4.
It’s "Star Wars" meets "Enemy Mine" meets "Wall-E" when two civilizations fight for survival over a planet called Terra and it’s all done in wonderful 3D. Mankind’s final hope relies on colonizing Terra before their Ark spaceship fails. However, the planet is inhabited by some peaceful and seemingly defenseless creatures. Does an extreme need give you the right to take things at the expense of others? This is a heavy handed tale about war and peace, survival and sacrifice, and understanding and cooperation. Alien was surprised this animated seemed more adult theme and not geared more for the younger kiddies (7 year olds and under).
Alien gives it 2 ½ "sky whale" stars out of 4.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
It’s "A Christmas Carol" meets any of Matthew McConaughey’s romantic comedies. Playboy photographer and player Connor Mead (McConaughey) doesn’t believe in the institution of marriage. At his younger brother’s wedding rehearsal, Connor is visited by the ghost of his Uncle Wayne (Michael Douglas) and the spirits of girlfriends past, present, and future. It is a predictable story line, but good physical stunts, a clever script, and comedic timing keeps the audience laughing and in stitches. A very funny cast of characters make up the wedding party. Jennifer Garner plays the sweet love interest. It’s a great chick flick and date movie that proves that fresh and smart is a lot funnier than crude and raunchy. This film is surprisingly more entertaining than you may have guessed.
Alien gives it 3 ½ "spooning and forking" stars out of 4.
It’s "A Christmas Carol" meets any of Matthew McConaughey’s romantic comedies. Playboy photographer and player Connor Mead (McConaughey) doesn’t believe in the institution of marriage. At his younger brother’s wedding rehearsal, Connor is visited by the ghost of his Uncle Wayne (Michael Douglas) and the spirits of girlfriends past, present, and future. It is a predictable story line, but good physical stunts, a clever script, and comedic timing keeps the audience laughing and in stitches. A very funny cast of characters make up the wedding party. Jennifer Garner plays the sweet love interest. It’s a great chick flick and date movie that proves that fresh and smart is a lot funnier than crude and raunchy. This film is surprisingly more entertaining than you may have guessed.
Alien gives it 3 ½ "spooning and forking" stars out of 4.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Obsessed
Lisa (Ali Larter) is the temp from hell who stalks Derek (Idris Elba) and tries to break up his marriage to Sharon (Beyoncé Knowles). Lisa starts out flirty, then sexually aggressive, and ultimately insanely delusional. The film is playful as it teases and titillates. The tension builds and builds. The audience becomes emotionally involved and becomes frustrated unable to control the situation just like poor Derek. This film is wonderful foreplay and the audience gets a terrific ride on their way to the big climax. The story is nicely done with enough plausibility to believe it could have happened that way. The dialogue is teasingly selected to foreshadow things to come. The film has Beyoncé, the sexy Ali Larter, and a "Fatal Attraction" quality to it; what more does it need to lure an audience. For a good time, go see Lisa... in "Obsessed".
Alien gives it 3 "scary good stalker" stars out of 4.
Lisa (Ali Larter) is the temp from hell who stalks Derek (Idris Elba) and tries to break up his marriage to Sharon (Beyoncé Knowles). Lisa starts out flirty, then sexually aggressive, and ultimately insanely delusional. The film is playful as it teases and titillates. The tension builds and builds. The audience becomes emotionally involved and becomes frustrated unable to control the situation just like poor Derek. This film is wonderful foreplay and the audience gets a terrific ride on their way to the big climax. The story is nicely done with enough plausibility to believe it could have happened that way. The dialogue is teasingly selected to foreshadow things to come. The film has Beyoncé, the sexy Ali Larter, and a "Fatal Attraction" quality to it; what more does it need to lure an audience. For a good time, go see Lisa... in "Obsessed".
Alien gives it 3 "scary good stalker" stars out of 4.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
17 Again
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
It’s "A Wonderful Life" meets "Back to the Future" meets "Peggy Sue Got Married" meets "The Big Bang Theory" as Zac Efron trades his East High Wildcat reds for Hayden High Warrior blues. What a stretch. He still plays the hunky basketball star, but he is also a 37 old father of two teens and a soon-to-be divorced ex. Magic has given him a second chance in life to make some changes. It's predictable, but Efron fans won't care. It is very familiar light hearted family fun.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "do over" stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
It’s "A Wonderful Life" meets "Back to the Future" meets "Peggy Sue Got Married" meets "The Big Bang Theory" as Zac Efron trades his East High Wildcat reds for Hayden High Warrior blues. What a stretch. He still plays the hunky basketball star, but he is also a 37 old father of two teens and a soon-to-be divorced ex. Magic has given him a second chance in life to make some changes. It's predictable, but Efron fans won't care. It is very familiar light hearted family fun.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "do over" stars out of 4.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Fighting
A naïve guy (Channing Tatum) trying to sell counterfeit goods hooks up with a street wise two-bit hustler/Faginish manager (Terrace Howard) to become a bare knuckle back room brawler in some illegal NYC no holds barred bouts. The film is fairly predictable, but a bit better than you would have expected due to the character relationships. The hero, Shawn MacArthur, is a man with a past and a chip on his shoulder. He meets a love interest and he eventually battles his old nemesis in the big fight.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "toe to toe and blow for blow" stars out of 4.
A naïve guy (Channing Tatum) trying to sell counterfeit goods hooks up with a street wise two-bit hustler/Faginish manager (Terrace Howard) to become a bare knuckle back room brawler in some illegal NYC no holds barred bouts. The film is fairly predictable, but a bit better than you would have expected due to the character relationships. The hero, Shawn MacArthur, is a man with a past and a chip on his shoulder. He meets a love interest and he eventually battles his old nemesis in the big fight.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "toe to toe and blow for blow" stars out of 4.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Crank High Voltage
This is not a sneak preview. This Film has already released.
Crank High Voltage is shocking. Alien is shocked that they made a sequel and shocked that so many actors returned to reprise their roles. This mindless, plotless Looney Tunes action driven film is filled with gratuitous sec and nudity along with senseless and implausible violence. This time Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) isn’t seeking for the antidote, but trying to recover his stolen heart. He must stay "juiced" in order to keep his artificial heart running. If you liked the original, you’ll probably love this tongue-in-cheek continuation. If you manage to stick around through the credits, you’ll see some stupid outtakes.
Alien gives it 1 ½ "silliness of PCP" stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This Film has already released.
Crank High Voltage is shocking. Alien is shocked that they made a sequel and shocked that so many actors returned to reprise their roles. This mindless, plotless Looney Tunes action driven film is filled with gratuitous sec and nudity along with senseless and implausible violence. This time Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) isn’t seeking for the antidote, but trying to recover his stolen heart. He must stay "juiced" in order to keep his artificial heart running. If you liked the original, you’ll probably love this tongue-in-cheek continuation. If you manage to stick around through the credits, you’ll see some stupid outtakes.
Alien gives it 1 ½ "silliness of PCP" stars out of 4.
Dragonball Evolution
This is not a sneak preview. This Film has already released.
It’s "Forbidden Kingdom" meets Saturday morning action/adventure show when a teen with mystical powers and martial arts training goes on a quest to gather 7 dragonballs and save the world. This predictable fantasy film targets the preteen audience with its special effects action. It is entertaining, but not spectacular. A final reveal is buried in the closing credits.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "power from within" stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This Film has already released.
It’s "Forbidden Kingdom" meets Saturday morning action/adventure show when a teen with mystical powers and martial arts training goes on a quest to gather 7 dragonballs and save the world. This predictable fantasy film targets the preteen audience with its special effects action. It is entertaining, but not spectacular. A final reveal is buried in the closing credits.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "power from within" stars out of 4.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Sin Nombre
It’s "City of God" meets "Under the Same Moon" when circumstances bring two Honduran strangers together for a long journey to America. It is an eye opening rail ride as desperate people head northward seeking their hopes and dreams while evading deportation by the border patrols and robbery by the brutal gangs. It is a realistic film that pulls no punches as it reveals the violent gang lifestyle. It is a touching story that will have audiences hoping as much as these poor immigrants that they will reach their final destination. This film is English subtitled.
Alien gives it 3 "ride with the devil" stars out of 4.
It’s "City of God" meets "Under the Same Moon" when circumstances bring two Honduran strangers together for a long journey to America. It is an eye opening rail ride as desperate people head northward seeking their hopes and dreams while evading deportation by the border patrols and robbery by the brutal gangs. It is a realistic film that pulls no punches as it reveals the violent gang lifestyle. It is a touching story that will have audiences hoping as much as these poor immigrants that they will reach their final destination. This film is English subtitled.
Alien gives it 3 "ride with the devil" stars out of 4.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
State of Play
Stop the presses for the latest scoop from Capitol Hill linking a congressional scandal, corporate conspiracy theory, and a string of suspicious deaths. Russell Crowe, Rachel McAdams, and Helen Mirren are worth the price of admission alone in this behind the scenes glimpse of the newspaper world. A veteran journalist butts heads with a cub reporter while trying to get the big juicy story for their tough editor. Terrific acting, smart dialogue, great backdrops, and attention to details and nuances elevate this gripping thriller to must see status. Even an idiot pulling the fire alarm and cancelling the screening 30 minutes before the conclusion couldn’t keep this reporter from witnessing the suspenseful end of this who-is-using-who mystery.
Alien gives it 3 ½ "blood suckers and bloggers" stars out of 4.
Stop the presses for the latest scoop from Capitol Hill linking a congressional scandal, corporate conspiracy theory, and a string of suspicious deaths. Russell Crowe, Rachel McAdams, and Helen Mirren are worth the price of admission alone in this behind the scenes glimpse of the newspaper world. A veteran journalist butts heads with a cub reporter while trying to get the big juicy story for their tough editor. Terrific acting, smart dialogue, great backdrops, and attention to details and nuances elevate this gripping thriller to must see status. Even an idiot pulling the fire alarm and cancelling the screening 30 minutes before the conclusion couldn’t keep this reporter from witnessing the suspenseful end of this who-is-using-who mystery.
Alien gives it 3 ½ "blood suckers and bloggers" stars out of 4.
African Adventure 3D
In the middle of the Kalahari Desert is the Okavango Delta, the key to life and survival for many exotic creatures. Filmmakers capture rare footage of wild animal behavior. Observe the bee eaters, a fisher eagle, and some fishing owls. See how dangerously close these enormous elephants come to the IMAX 3D lenses. Witness how the photographers manage to get their amazing shots.
Alien gives it 3 ½ "special safari" stars out of 4.
In the middle of the Kalahari Desert is the Okavango Delta, the key to life and survival for many exotic creatures. Filmmakers capture rare footage of wild animal behavior. Observe the bee eaters, a fisher eagle, and some fishing owls. See how dangerously close these enormous elephants come to the IMAX 3D lenses. Witness how the photographers manage to get their amazing shots.
Alien gives it 3 ½ "special safari" stars out of 4.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
12 Rounds
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
It’s "Die Hard with a Vengeance" mistaken for a boxing film. After a FBI sting gone bad, a cowboy cop and a criminal mastermind go toe-to-toe for 12 rounds. Look out New Orleans, world wide wrestler John Cena has no charisma, can't act, and manages to undo all of the rebuilding since Katrina. If you don't take this one seriously, you may have a fun time watching the smash and crash action as the clock keeps on ticking down. And if you don't think too hard, you may not notice the film's ludicrous flaws. This movie will be lucky to last a couple of rounds in the theaters.
Alien gives it 2 "he ain’t no John McClane" stars out of 4.
This is not a sneak preview. This film has already released.
It’s "Die Hard with a Vengeance" mistaken for a boxing film. After a FBI sting gone bad, a cowboy cop and a criminal mastermind go toe-to-toe for 12 rounds. Look out New Orleans, world wide wrestler John Cena has no charisma, can't act, and manages to undo all of the rebuilding since Katrina. If you don't take this one seriously, you may have a fun time watching the smash and crash action as the clock keeps on ticking down. And if you don't think too hard, you may not notice the film's ludicrous flaws. This movie will be lucky to last a couple of rounds in the theaters.
Alien gives it 2 "he ain’t no John McClane" stars out of 4.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Earth
The Disneynature filmmakers have captured some incredible images of earth's magnificent creatures and combined them with a marvelous narrative that will delight, entertain, and educate the young and the old. They will take you to the air, over land, and under the sea. Our planet never looked more beautiful and glorious. The film is filled with rare and exquisite footages that you may never experience again so up close and personal. Witness the mass migrations and the hunt for survival. Observe some unique and exotic examples of animal behavior. See how these courageous filmmakers got their spectacular shots at the end of the film when the credits roll.
Alien gives it 3 ½ "circle of life" stars out of 4.
The Disneynature filmmakers have captured some incredible images of earth's magnificent creatures and combined them with a marvelous narrative that will delight, entertain, and educate the young and the old. They will take you to the air, over land, and under the sea. Our planet never looked more beautiful and glorious. The film is filled with rare and exquisite footages that you may never experience again so up close and personal. Witness the mass migrations and the hunt for survival. Observe some unique and exotic examples of animal behavior. See how these courageous filmmakers got their spectacular shots at the end of the film when the credits roll.
Alien gives it 3 ½ "circle of life" stars out of 4.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Observe and Report
If you liked the Kevin James "Mall Cop" movie, maybe you should quit while you are ahead. This film is a much darker, lewd, crude, and senselessly violent version. Alien observed and was repulsed. The movie relies on too many cheap vulgar jokes and gimmicks to shock and assault the senses. So many F bombs go off that Alien thought his head was going to explode. Brace yourself for the never ending full frontal exposure to the perverted mall flasher (many Kodak moments indelibly etched in your brain for life). This is definitely a waste of two hilarious comic talents, Seth Rogen and Anna Farris. There are virtually no likable characters here, except for sweet little Nell. This mess is a definite "R" for everything repulsive. Of course, it your sense of humor is really twisted, you may just like this film and I hope I never run into you at the mall.
Alien gives it 1 "partner in crime" star out of 4.
If you liked the Kevin James "Mall Cop" movie, maybe you should quit while you are ahead. This film is a much darker, lewd, crude, and senselessly violent version. Alien observed and was repulsed. The movie relies on too many cheap vulgar jokes and gimmicks to shock and assault the senses. So many F bombs go off that Alien thought his head was going to explode. Brace yourself for the never ending full frontal exposure to the perverted mall flasher (many Kodak moments indelibly etched in your brain for life). This is definitely a waste of two hilarious comic talents, Seth Rogen and Anna Farris. There are virtually no likable characters here, except for sweet little Nell. This mess is a definite "R" for everything repulsive. Of course, it your sense of humor is really twisted, you may just like this film and I hope I never run into you at the mall.
Alien gives it 1 "partner in crime" star out of 4.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Adventureland
Set in 1987 Pittsburg, a college student's plans for grad school and an European vacation get derailed by a change in family finances. He ends up working as a games carnie at a sucky amusement park for the summer. It’s funny, but not outrageous "Superbad" funny. It is more of a sweet story about the rollercoaster ups and downs of summer romances and relationships. Alien liked the Kristen Stewart/Jesse Eisenberg pairing, but thought the SNL comedy duo of Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig was underutilized. During the credits, a short "Adventureland" commercial pops up.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "love is complicated" stars out of 4.
Set in 1987 Pittsburg, a college student's plans for grad school and an European vacation get derailed by a change in family finances. He ends up working as a games carnie at a sucky amusement park for the summer. It’s funny, but not outrageous "Superbad" funny. It is more of a sweet story about the rollercoaster ups and downs of summer romances and relationships. Alien liked the Kristen Stewart/Jesse Eisenberg pairing, but thought the SNL comedy duo of Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig was underutilized. During the credits, a short "Adventureland" commercial pops up.
Alien gives it 2 ½ "love is complicated" stars out of 4.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
The Soloist
It's Slumdog Musical Prodigy when a LA Times journalist publishes a human interest story about how a Julliard trained student ends up homeless and living on the streets. Two outstanding actors, Robert Downey Jr and Jamie Foxx, portray real life characters in a sad and touching story which visualizes the ugly world of the homeless as it focuses on one unfortunate person. This reporter struggles to help a talented, but mentally unstable person. The film plays on the human heart strings along with the beautiful music featured throughout.
Alien gives it 3 "Beethoven" stars out of 4.
It's Slumdog Musical Prodigy when a LA Times journalist publishes a human interest story about how a Julliard trained student ends up homeless and living on the streets. Two outstanding actors, Robert Downey Jr and Jamie Foxx, portray real life characters in a sad and touching story which visualizes the ugly world of the homeless as it focuses on one unfortunate person. This reporter struggles to help a talented, but mentally unstable person. The film plays on the human heart strings along with the beautiful music featured throughout.
Alien gives it 3 "Beethoven" stars out of 4.
