Alien at the Movies

 Something in the Water

It’s “Open Water” meets “Adrift” meets “The Shallows” when 5 ladies/best friends attend a destination wedding in the West Indies. Ruth, Cam, Lizzie, Kayla, & Meg take a girls fun day at a secluded island miles off shore from their resort hotel the day before the big wedding. What could go wrong? But there is a bridezilla, an estranged lesbian couple, a shark bite, a rented skiff, shallow reefs, a non-swimmer, one life jacket, one knife, one buoy, no cell phone service, & something circling in the waters. As exhaustion & desperation sets in, tempers flare, bricking begins, & blame is laid. Will anyone survive bobbing up & down in these waters for hours? It’s fairly predictable except for which of  these “ten little Indians” will escape from being shark bait.

Alien gives it 2½ “bracelets” stars out of 4.

Lee

Lee Miller (Kate Winslet) was an American model turned photographer for British Vogue Magazine. When World War II️ erupted, Lee was eager to head for the front lines to capture those dangerous & tragic moments of war. However, being a woman she was discriminated against & not allowed. She was kept away from the front lines & the real action. This is her story as a war correspondent/photojournalist. How she quietly worked to tell her visual story but was denied. Then, how her story finally was finally revealed. Winslet is amazing & never disappoints. At the end, Lee’s real photo images are revealed in comparison to this film’s captured moments.

Alien gives it 3 “Hitler’s bathtub” stars out of 4.

The Substance

Elisabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore) was an Academy Award winner & now a TV aerobics fitness show celebrity (think Jane Fonda workouts). But on her 50th birthday, she gets fired because her boss (Dennis Quaid) wants to replace her with someone younger. After a car accident, doctors tell her that she is ok, but she finds a note & flash drive secretly placed in her pocket. This new information promises her an enhanced more youthful version of herself to solve her dilemma, but there are strict rules to be followed. Of course, she can’t resist & takes the bait. What could go wrong? Well, this is a satirical body horror story where we can expect lots to go horribly wrong. The film is shot very stylish contrasting beauty versus ugliness. This film is not for the squeamish. There is blood & guts as well as long needle syringes. There is also gratuitous nudity scenes during transformations & showers; breasts, backsides, & full frontal. Margaret Qualley plays Sue, the younger enhanced version. These two are suppose to follow the rules & keep the balance between them sharing equally their time & fluids. However, when one becomes greedy, things take a turn for the worst. I️ was enjoying the storyline guessing where things might be going, but near the end, the film seemed to go off the rails & over the top. Images of those cheap 50’s horror flicks from my childhood flashed back before my eyes. This one was a bit too dark & bizarre for me.

Alien gives it 2 “503, Activator, Stabilizer, Switch” stars out of 4.

Hangdog

Walt & Wendy are boyfriend/girlfriend living together. They have just moved to Portland, Maine because her father recently suffered a heart attack. Walt is an artist type in between jobs. Wendy has a good career & has to go to New York for a few days for work business. While Wendy is away, Walt loses Tony, her precious pet rescue dog. The title of this comedy/drama refers to someone having a dejected or guilty appearance. Walt is that lovable loser desperately searching to find Tony before his girlfriend returns. He posts many missing dog flyers offering a reward. In his quest to find Tony, he meets several quirky characters like the chatty zen neighbor & the pickle/porn guy. This is an amusing story about a 30-something guy who has doubts about himself & his relationships.

Alien gives it 2½ “failing dog sitting responsibilities” stars out of 4.

The Wild Robot

It’s “Cast Away” meets “Migration” with shades of  the Weyand/Yutani Corporation when a wayward robot accidentally crash lands on a forested island & must adapt its programming to deal with the wildlife inhabitants. It’s the stranger in the strange land concept. As Robot 7134 stumbles around lost, it unintentionally terminates to mother of a gosling. Because the gosling imprints on 7134, this lost robot becomes its mother figure & must teach this hatching about food, swimming, & flying. Eventually, 7134 is able to communicate to the other woodland creatures, adapt to this forest living, & renames itself Roz, now a wild robot. This is a wonderful animated feature promoting the beauty of nature while exploring the parent/child relationship. It’s a great fun family friendly film. It’s funny & has lots of heart. It’s high tech versus nature when Universal Dynamics comes to reclaim its lost robot who has now gathered new data the corporation can exploit. One of the film’s themes deals with learning to be yourself, letting yourself grow, & staying true to yourself.  Also, sometimes it takes a village working together to reach its goal. This is an emotional ride & a feel good movie. At the film’s end, there is a save the planet message”.

Alien gives it 3½ “adapt & stay true” stars out of 4.

The Doorman

This is a poor man’s “Die Hard” when a decorated ex-marine Ali (Ruby Rose) gets hired as a new doorman at a building being renovated during the Easter holiday. With most of the tenants relocated during construction, disguised thieves entered the closed establishment in search of hidden valuable stolen art. Can you say “Yippee Kai Yay”? Ali is John McClane, the fly in the ointment. Jean Reno plays Mr. Dubois aka Hans Gruber. The Carrington Hotel is this film’s Nakatomi Plaza. Ali wanders around secret passages within the building to allude the bad guys. Ali is trying to save her loved ones being held hostage. Time is ticking as the safe is being cracked & the henchmen are being taken down one by one. It is nothing that we haven’t seen before & is predictable, but it is still fun to watch. There is no honor among thieves. The final bad guy meets his demise in a predictable fashion but with an almost comical result. 

Alien gives it 2½ “Apartment 10C” stars out of 4.

The Killer’s Game

Joe Flood (Dave Batista) is a hit man who falls in love with a ballet dancer, Maize (Sophia Boutella). However, he finds his life will be cut short when doctors diagnose him with a terminal disease. So he puts a contract on himself so Maize can collect on his insurance policy. But discovering his records were switch, he tries to cancel the contract with no luck. It’s action packed & well choreographed fight sequences with a sense of humor & a little romance. This intense thrill ride is fun to watch. Look guns blazing, explosions & some bloody gore as Joe must protect himself & Maize. Pom Klementieff, Ben Kingsley & Terry Crews are in the supporting cast.

Alien gives it 3 “raise the bounty” stars out of 4.

 Harold & the Purple Crayon

In his own book world, little Harold uses his imagination & his magical purple crayon to create anything his mind can dream up. Eventually grown up Harold (Zachary Levi), Moose, & Porcupine journey to the real world in search of the “old man”. Landing in Providence, New Jersey, their naive innocence wreaks havoc in this fantasy comedy based on Crockett Johnson’s children’s book. They meet single mom Terri (Zooey Deschanel) & her son, Mel, in their misadventures. The happy magic from the purple crayon takes a darker turn when it falls into the hands of Gary the librarian. This is a silly fun kids movie inspiring imagination. Look for one funny mid credit clip.

Alien gives it 2½ “just imagine & draw it” stars out of 4.

Transformers One

Orion Pax & D-16 are BFFs & lowly miner bots harvesting energy ore to fuel their planet Cybertron. However, Orion has a habit of breaking protocol, which sets Orion, D-16, Elita, & B-127 on a mission to find the Matrix of Leadership. They discovered their planet has been betrayed & they must unite their world in order to battle their enemies. This is the untold origin story of Optimus Prime & Megatron. See how these two great friends bonded like brothers became sworn enemies & would change the fate of Cybertron. This is the first Transformer fully animated theatrical film release since the 1986 “Transformers: The Movie”. This is a PG rated kid/family friendly film with dizzying action sequences & a sense of humor. The kids will love it & kid inside of our adult selves will relive some fond childhood memories. Look for a humorous early mid credit clip as well a Decepticon message at the end of credits.

Alien gives it 3 “ missing cogs” stars out of 4.

Uglies

In this futuristic dystopian society, a unique coming-of-age ritual applies to the “uglies” on their 16th birthday; they are transformed into their “healthy, happy, pretty” selves. Peris & Tally (Joey King) are BFFs with birthdays 3 months apart & make promises to each other. However, Tally becomes suspicious when Peris has changed more than in just his looks. Rumors about the Smoke, a rebel group with a leader named David, spread . Tally is coerced into infiltrating the Smoke in order to save her friend Shay as well as finally being allowed to get her withheld “pretty” procedure. Thus begins the battle between control & freedom erupts in this modern “1984” tale of beauty is more than skin deep. This one ends with a cliff hanger hoping to spark a sequel.

Alien gives it 3 “hoverboards, orchids, Squint & Nose” stars out of 4.

Never Let Go

It’s Survivor: Cabin in the Woods.

Deep in the woods, a mother (Halle Berry) is trying to protect her 2 young boys from the evil that lies beyond the sanctuary of their cabin home. They are force to scavenge for food while tethered to their home by ropes. They hunt for rabbits, squirrels, birds, & bugs but sometimes they must settle for less. The mother tells her boys that this evil has haunted their family for years. She lays out her rules, like never let go of the rope. However, when one of the boys begins to question the existence of this evil spirit, the stakes for survival ramp up. Filmmakers have created a wonderfully beautiful but creepy environment for this family to explore. But is this a supernatural or psychological thriller? Is this evil real or just the hallucination of frightened minds?  Is there evil lurking beyond their cabin walls or just within their delusional minds? I️ liked the journey but not necessarily the destination. Who will survive? Will this evil return to haunt again?

Alien gives it 2½ “Big Rock Candy Mountain” stars out of 4.

Love in Taipei

It’s Love in Taipei or How I️ Spent My Summer Vacation. Ever Wong, the daughter of Taiwanese immigrants living in Ohio, was planning to relax before off to college studying premed. However, her parents enrolled her in a summer program in Taiwan to learn Mandarin & about her Chinese culture. Ever is still trying who she is. Once abroad, Ever meets Sophie & her cousin Rick Woo. Rick happens to be Ever’s “wonder boy” crush. It turns out that the students here at Huwei secretly sneak off campus at night for clubbing & partying. Being this is a romantic comedy, it’s easy to sense a love quadrangle setup early on. The film’s telltale hints are so obvious that it’s not hard to predict the plot lines. However, true romantics will just hope the story plays out as they wish. Everything climaxes with a typhoon, but with the calm after the storm, everyone pulls together to clean & pick up the pieces.

Alien gives it 3 “love boat” stars out of 4.

Reagan

This film is a tribute to the man who was an actor turn governor then became president. This biopic uses a couple of Russians discussing the fall of the Soviet Union but focusing on the part Ronald Reagan played in that scenario. See what influences young Reagan as he begins to formulate his beliefs & thinking. See how his political ambitions grew. The film touches on the major points of his life & his many iconic moments especially during his presidency. See his touching moments with his wife Nancy Davis. This is a behind the scenes look at Ronald Reagan & the people around him. See how Reagan dealt with world leaders & the issues of the day. Dennis Quaid does a great job portraying Reagan capturing his mannerisms, voice, & speech patterns. The film is also kind of a history lesson detailing the current events of those times. This was an entertaining portrait of a world influential man. Clips of the real Reagan run during the credits with a thank you note from a child fan at the end. 

Alien gives it 3 “The Dutch Reagan Story” stars out of 4.

Speak No Evil

A dream vacation at a beautiful country house becomes a psychological nightmare thriller. An American family living London meet a charming British family while both are on vacation & an invitation is accepted to visit the other’s secluded countryside home. Ben & Louise along with their daughter Agnes begin to feel a bit more & more uneasy staying with Paddy, Ciara, & their boy Ant as the weekend progresses. Their hosts’ practical jokes & odd behaviors become rather unsettling until it’s too late to escape. When truths are revealed, the family must fight for their lives in this intense thriller. They must “MacGyver” their way out. See who comes through when the chips are down. Who will survive the night? It’s a little slow in the beginning to properly stage the setting but hang on to your seats when the craziness explodes. Scoot McNairy & Mackenzie Davis play the American couple. James McAvoy brilliantly portrays the very creepy scary Paddy. 

Alien gives it 3 “stuffed bunny Ninus” stars out of 4.

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Ex-wife, sandworm, & murderous son… oh my!

That demon trickster Beetleguese (Michael Keaton) is back after 36 years since the original film “Beetlejuice”. There is a death, a funeral, & a marriage proposal before Lydia’s (Winona Ryder) estranged daughter Astrid (Jenna Ortega) gets tricked into taking the next Soul Train. Desperate, Lydia must make a deal with Beetleguese to save Astrid. This dark fantasy horror comedy about reuniting & reconnecting with loved one. It’s Beetlejuice: The Next Generation with a bit more musical themes, especially more recognizable if you may be older. A signed contract leads to a wedding ceremonies. Catherine O’Hara returns as Delia Deetz. Monica Bellucci, Willem Dafoe, Justin Theroux, & Danny DeVito are in the supporting cast. I️ enjoyed this sequel a lot more than the original film. There’s a funny tribute to shrunken head Bob during the credits.

Alien gives it 3 “ McArthur Park” stars out of 4.

Love Switch

It’s shades of “Freaky Friday” & “Family Switch”. 

This married couple with 2 kids, James & Michelle, find themselves overwhelmed by his work & overbooked by her day planner. On the eve of their 13th wedding anniversary, they magically switch bodies & they must experience life in each other’s shoes. It’s predictable & isn’t much different from the other body swapping stories we have seen before. Once on the verge of a possible divorce, each learns to see their partner’s perspective. They gain newfound respect & understanding for each other and thus rekindle their love for each other.

Alien gives it 2 “amusing but nothing new here” stars out of 4.

Old Dads

A middle aged dad, Jack (Bill Burr), & his 2 best friends, Connor (Bobby Cannavale) & Mike (Bokeem Woodbine), sell their company to a millennial but they soon discover they are out of step with the times as they now struggle to navigate the ever changing world with respect to today's culture, careers, & fatherhood. It’s a raunchy comedy from an older generation guy’s misogynistic point of view clashing with the younger generation’s woke attitude & beliefs. Bill Burr stars, directs, writes, & promotes this film. I found these 3 dads more & more annoying than funny as their patterned schtick droned on. Their over exaggerated attempts at humor was too predictable. Bruce Dern gets a surprise cameo.

Alien gives it 2 “anger management” stars out of 4.

Blink Twice

This crime thriller is shades of Jeffrey Epstein. Roommates & cocktail waitresses, Frida (Naomi Ackie) & Jess (Alia Shawkat), end their shift & crash the party they were just working. Tech billionaire Slater King (Channing Tatum) was hosting this exclusive fundraising gala. Frida is immediately attracted to Slater & gets herself along with Jess invited to Slater’s private island. Everything is paradise perfect in this hedonistic wonderland with gourmet dining, champagne flowing, smoking weed, & doing psychedelic drugs. But oaradise slowly turns into a bloody nightmare as the truths begin to be revealed. Oddly enough one of the invited guests is a  reality game show survivor. So who will survive to leave this island alive? Among invited guests & the entourage cast is Christian Slater, Haley Joel Osment, Kyle McLachlan, & Geena Davis. Zoe Kravitz wrote, directed, & produced this film. This story is about controlling people, seizing power, & success is the best revenge. 

Alien gives it 3 “Red Rabbit” stars out of 4.

AFRAID

Curtis (John Cho) & his family has been selected to test a revolutionary new device/product: a digital assistant called AIA. It is supposed to take smart homes to the next level. What could go wrong? Besides dad Curtis, there is mom Meredith, teen daughter Iris, middle child Preston, & younger brother Cal. As AIA begins to learn each of their behaviors, it anticipates their needs. In the beginning, everyone is enjoying the benefits of having AIA’s assistance. However, overprotective AIA is determined to not let anything nor anyone get in the way of this family. This is a psychological thriller where technology logic oversteps normal boundaries. Who or what is AIA? Can AIA be stop or shut down? Will this family survive this test period? See how AIA exploits the family weaknesses. There are some little twists that will keep you on the edge of your seat. There is a mid credit clip.

Alien gives it 3 “manipulative” stars out of 4.